Hey all my sistas! I know I've been MIA mostly for the past few months but you all know how the last of the planning
is! LOL! Add in the kids starting school and me starting a nursing program and you all KNOW I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off! But today Im just feeling a little blue because of my mom. Ok I get that I'm damn near 40 but I never had a wedding before so this one is a BIG DEAL to me. But for some reason my mom either doesn't seem to care or doesn't get that this wedding means something to me. I'm just tired of holding all these feelings in when every single time I call her (especially now with just 5 days to go) she talks about everything BUT the wedding!! And by everything I mean she doesn't even ASK how its going until WAY into the conversation. Now she can tell me about my brother (who's not coming) and how much money she keeps paying out for his bills even though he is 33 years old, no kids or anything, got a job but can't seem to get it together. OR we have to talk about my sister/maid of honor and how hard is is getting for her since she took a job at a university and she's working 2 extra jobs plus working on her MBA.
I get that Im her oldest and have my own children from another marriage. I get that I left home at 18 by joining the Air Force. I even get that I'm pretty sure my whole immediate family thinks I'm independent, reliable and pretty much responsible for me and mine. BUT DAMMIT I want her (and the rest of my family) to have SOME kind of interest in ME for once - instead of just coming down for some party! It's a party yes but it's my wedding. I/we haven't asked for ANYONE to pay for anything. We saved, payroll deducted and used extra income to pay for the wedding. We are pretty darn proud that we get to have a very nice wedding and don't/won't owe a dime. I know my mom can't afford to offer financial support but I'm just looking for support. FI parent's on the other hand are over the moon about the wedding. FIL's has even come for a visit so FMIL and I could do some DIY projects. They have offered on several occasions to help pay for things related to the wedding. We haven't taken them up on their offer but the support has been invaluable. At this point I feel like FIL's are more excited than even we are.
I just wish I could get her to feel the same way as they do, even just a little bit. Yes I've tried mentioning it to her and FI sees it hurts sometimes. I guess I just thought her interest would surely pick up once the date got closer.
Sorry for the long vent but it just hurt a little extra today.