Connecticut

Personal question/poll

Curious how many of you ladies intend to have children and if so if you thought of a time frame after your wedding?  My FI and i have talked about it and we're thinking 2 years. How 'bout you guys?

Re: Personal question/poll

  • malissa033malissa033 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We plan on having kids but not for a little bit... pre-wedding I was set at 7-10yrs. Now we're thinking more like 2-3yrs but it all matters on where we stand in our careers. I find myself getting baby fever seeing EVERYONE around us is having/has kid(s) but then it passes quickly once I think of our nights out, sparatic vacations - so right now we're going to continue to be selfish for a bit longer and just enjoy being married.
  • Agey310Agey310 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://connecticut.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_personal-questionpoll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:aedd8dd6-3156-4f95-9e6c-08d3ccd2107ePost:869b7697-c527-49c6-9fa3-3e21faf90186">Re: Personal question/poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]We plan on having kids but not for a little bit... pre-wedding I was set at 7-10yrs. Now we're thinking more like 2-3yrs but it all matters on where we stand in our careers. I find myself getting baby fever seeing EVERYONE around us is having/has kid(s) but then it passes quickly once I think of our nights out, sparatic vacations - so right now we're going to continue to be selfish for a bit longer and just enjoy being married.
    Posted by malissa033[/QUOTE]

    Malissa, sounds like me! Everyone around me has been having children and I get that feeling where I am like...ohhh I want one too. Then I wake up and realize that life changes completly and I am not necessarily ready for that change quite yet. FI are thinking that 2-3 years after the wedding is time to start thinking about extending our family beyond our cats.
  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Malissa and Agey!

    We definitely wants kids! We would like 3-4.. but we'll see how we feel after 2 or 3 haha...but we really enjoy our nights out with friends and our vacations and stuff. We feel bad enough when we leave the dog home when we go out, I can't imagine how we'd feel when we want a night out or a vacation away when we have kids. So we would like to wait 2 or 3 years after getting married this June. We said we may start trying after our 2nd anniversary. Most of our friends don't have kids yet so we'd be the odd ones out when it comes to going out and doing stuff. I think once your friends start having kids you start to get baby fever yourself and then you can all do family stuff together. But the one or two friends of ours that do have kids already miss out on stuff because the rest of us are still acting like kids ourselves so to speak and they've had to grow up a lot quicker than the rest of us. We can't wait to have a family, but we're just not ready yet and we'd like to have a house first and a little more financially secure.
  • tigerbunny17tigerbunny17 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We want to have children, but right now it's not in the cards, I'm not working and DH doesn't have the best job, so we're waiting untill things get a little better.
  • jenandcrisjenandcris member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Haha, I definitely ditto Malissa, Agey310 and SuMmErKuTiE. Once we're married, I'd like to wait at least 2-3, maybe 4 yrs. I think 25-27 is a good age to start having children.

    And FI and I would also like to be selfish and go wherever we want, whenever we want without the inclination of caring for children. We also hate leaving our boys (2 cats) alone for the weekend when we're home in Mass. No one loves them like we do. D: Besides, kids are expensive! I have MANY nieces and nephews and when I babysit... oh boy, Chuck E Cheese makes money!

    Also, FI would like four (he comes from a family of seven) and I would like two, maybe three (I come from a family of four, but one died before me)!
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  • edited December 2011
    We defiantly want kids, 2 probably (I say probably because twins run in both of our families)  We are thinking we will wait about 1 year.  I'm 30 already, so we don't want to wait too long!
  • edited December 2011
    FI and I are waiting until about a year after we get married to start trying.  Thankfully, we're both financially stable at the moment (although things could easily change in a year or two) and we're both pretty good at saving money.  FI is 28 and I'm 26... 27 in May booooooo.  I've always wanted to have at least 1 kid before i turn 30 so i figure, if i get pregnant while i'm 27, have the baby when i'm 28, i'm all set.  Plus, most of our friends are having children which is making my clock tick.... and we have 2 dogs which are basically like children.  We can't go on vacations and we can't leave the house for more than 8 hours at a time so having a child wouldnt be that much of a shock for our social life.  FI wants 2 kids, I want 3... and i'd prefer to have them all before i'm 35.  I also have a lot of career and educational goals... which may end up forcing us to put off having children.  I'm basically going to try to be super woman for the next 5 years so i can have kids, go to school to get my MBA while working full time, and move up within my company.
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  • dpantaleonidpantaleoni member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I"m in the same boat with you Beach...DH and I didn't have a very long relationship before we got engaged/started planning (we were best friends for about 6 years beforehand).  Initially, we wanted to start right after the wedding.  We're turned 29 this year and don't want to be too old when we have kids.  But after all the stress of the wedding, we decided we definitely need time for "us" before we start.  Right now, we're thinking of starting this time next year.

  • jmestylejmestyle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I def want children but not right away. I'll be 28 when I get married. I would like kids at 31 but we'll see
  • CTbride79CTbride79 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Right away!  Honestly, if we end up with a HM baby, I think we will both be thrilled :-)  We've discussed it, and by the time we get married, we'll have been together for over 4.5 years and living together for 3.5, so we feel like we'll have had plenty of "alone" time. 

    Also, neither of wants to be 'old' parents (FI will be 32, I will be 31 by our wedding) so we'd love to get pregnant as soon as it's official :-)
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  • PRLJMBPRLJMB member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I am going to be 24 on wednesday and my fiance will be 30 in June so I think 2 years is good fo us. He'll be almost 32 and I'll be 26.  I'm really excited to have children.  We have a dog thats like our baby too so I feel like it wouldn't be terribly shocking to the social life...probably just the bank account haha.  I don't want to work when my child is not in school so we'll have to save alot for me to feel comfortable doing that. 

    I guess I shouldn't be thinking about kids yet since the wedding hasn't even happened yet (21 days) but everyone around me is having children.  Most of those people are not married, so I feel sorry for the children who will have no real parental team..but whatever...just got me thinking and wondering if wanting to have kids at around 26 was an average thought out there or if I was crazy!

  • ofeliaknitsofeliaknits member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're not having children.  We both have other reasons, but the idea of being pregnant totally freaks me out.  Also, I like kids as much as the next person, but I've never had children in my life, never really babysat, and generally don't know what to do with them, lol.  We would possibly adopt a child, but no more than one.  We'll both turn 25 within 2 months of our wedding, and we don't want to have a child in our lives before we're 30.  I think I'm the odd one out here!

    I have a friend that desparately wants children, and will probably have a HM baby just like CTBride!  She's the same age we are.  She's one of my BMs, so I'd be an aunt!  I'd much rather be an aunt than a mom, that sounds so much more fun!
  • edited December 2011
    CTBride, I'm with you...we really would be thrilled with a HM baby!  We will be together 7 years on our wedding day and would already be married, if it weren't for the cost.  Also his parents are older and we don't want to be old parents (in a sense).  We'll both be 27 around baby tiime.
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  • ggmaeggmae member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    3-4 years, once DH is done with college and I have gotten a master's degree.
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  • edited December 2011
    this is a great question!
    DH and I will be 29 and 26, respectively, in March.  I'd like to have my first child before or while I am 30 so that we would potentially have 2 children and be done by 32/33 for me.  While we have not set a definite time period, we are in agreement on 2-3 years to start trying.  My mom and grandma both had trouble getting pregnant, but both did, naturally, and so I hope we will not have trouble that delays children for long.  DH has a great job but does not love it so may be looking to change once the market picks up, and I have a great job and love it but want to have more of a footing and higher salary in the field before I get pregnant and take maternity leave, etc.   We also would like to buy our first house first, which will probably be this spring/summer.
  • starrbuk13starrbuk13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we definitely want kids...2 or 3 i'm thinking.  my plan used to be to wait until i was about 30, but lately i've been feeling the itch...and it downright freaks me out lol.  i know i'm not ready for a kid yet, but having a job where i know they would support my working part time and being a mom makes it sooooooo much easier to be open to the idea of kids within the next 3 years or so...
  • Whippet8Whippet8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    right now we both want 4 kids...I talked FI down from 8!! (he's one of 9)...we're not so much putting a time frame on when we want to have kids, but we do have a list of places we would like to travel to before we start trying to have kids. of course, if we were to happen get pregnant right now, we would both be excited. I would also ideally like to be done with grad school and finished with my TEAM portfolio before we have kids (2012).

    Its so hard to want to wait, though, because FI has 11 nieces and nephews!

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  • edited December 2011
    Me and the FI want kids. Literally all of my friends except me and one other have kids. I'm only 22 (23) when I'm married so I want to wait a few years like 27ish. Just own a house and be stable. He wants them sooner but to be honest im scared crapless of having one and caring for one my 2 cats are enough.
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  • GinabeckGinabeck member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We'll probably wait about a year until FI is done with his masters and can start teaching. If he had it his way we'd have a baby now though. He LOVES babies and he's so good with kids so I know he'll be a great Dad. I told him after we're married and one of us has a job with benefits we can try! I don't have insurance through my job so I don't want to get pregnant until I have that!  
  • edited December 2011
    I'm 27 and DH is 28.  We'll probably wait another 3-4 years before we even start trying.  I'm really in no hurry.  We have a puppy and that keeps us PLENTY busy!  haha.  Not to mention I have an awesome career that requires tons of traveling to the west coast and I'm not ready to give that up any time soon! 
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  • edited December 2011
    FI and I will be 34 and 31, respectively, at the time of our wedding.....we're not waiting long. We'll see what happens this summer after our May wedding. :-)
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