How to livin up the ceremony?

alyssa324 · December 2009

I just went though my planning binder and found i have nothing under ceremony. So our ceremony right now stands at around 5 min

FI and I both believe in god but are not that religious. Also we are both Heintz 51's (a mix of heritage) so we dont really have any traditional readings. What are all of you having read or doing? I dont really like the sand or candle ceremony either. Does anyone have any ideas for me? thank you so much a head of time you gals or always such a help

KST_ · December 2009

We're looking at having a reading from my favorite book, The Little Prince, about love and relationships. Look for stories or passages from books or movies that are meaningful to either of you, it doesn't have to be religious.

alyssa324 · December 2009

Thanks I will have to research for some quotes from books I like. I would have never thought of that? FI would love to quote a movie like Dumb and dumber or something alike LOL I was kinds thnking of doing hand tying ceremony.

Also i thought of a few more ?s. Who does the readings? Do you have you have separate people read or can the official read some things for you? And does anyone have any suggestions on how to include our children into the ceremony? I keep finding specific vows for step parents to say with their new children. But the kiddos ARE both of ours. So if there any thing to say to include them. Nothing to big my daughter will only be 2. Just something to say they are very important to us and our marriage.

ahuette · December 2009

Some Ideas:
We are doing 2 readings - 1. The Art of a Good Marriage - Wilfred Arlan Peterson and 2. The blessing of the hands. We are just having the pastor read them because there isn't really room at the alter for another person. But you can have a sibling that isn't involved in the wedding otherwise, or a close friend or family member who you want to include in the ceremony. Really, that part is up to you.

We are doing a wine unity. There is one bottle/decater of red and one of white and each person takes one and pours it into a new glass. We then both drink the "rose colored" wine (which is gross tasting bc its a mix of red and white!!). And then at the reception, you serve a rose wine. We are undecided as how we will incorporate the rose in our reception. We didn't really want to do a toasting drink (costs more money) so I think we're just going to offer it as part of the wine menu and have a sign on the explaining it. We will also be doing the wine box at the same time as the unity. We will put a bottle of wine, and a letter that we write to the other into a box. The pastor is going to bless it and tell the audience what it means. (We are only to open it when we get a big fight. We then read the letters which will remind us why were loved each other and what the other means to us. Then we drink the wine.) We are going to open it on a big fight or 5 year anniversary, whichever comes first. Then we will write new letters, reseal the box and go another 5 years!

HTH!

KST_ · December 2009

Ahuette covered it pretty much - readings can be done by your officiant. It is also common to honor someone close to you by having them do it such as a sibling, parent, other relative or friend. We're still undecided, but French language is a big part of me and I'm considering having a good friend read part of the passage in French with either the translation in the program or someone else reading the English.

A Hand tying ceremony would be nice. I hadn't heard of the wine thing before. Also, just because you don't necessarily identify with any particular heritage doesn't mean you can't borrow from any of them. Even if it's not one you connect with, see what other cultures/religions do because they might have a ceremony thing that speaks to you two (such as hand-tying).
Here's an interesting alternate to communion: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com/lovingcup.html

Here's something kind of fun maybe for your kids:
"Allow your children to come up and sign part of the official documents at the signing of the register. Yes you need two witnesses for the license but your officiant will give you 'the record of marriage' part of the license and anyone can sign, print or make their mark! Warn your wedding photographer to be on the alert for these wonderful moments. In my experience, children love this above all other part of the ceremony, and so does everyone else .Again when your officiant introduces you have your children up there with you. They will love the applause and treasure the memory of how important they were on Mom or Dad's big day."

BrandyL10 · December 2009

My officiant had a good idea that FI and I liked. He did a ceremony once where instead of a sand or wine or candle unity, the couple did a Black and Tan unity. Basically they mixed a Black and Tan at the altar and then each drank. I thought that was hilarious, and it spoke to my redneck side. Still thinking about it!

carrieoz_76 · December 2009

I'm a big-time reader, FI likes certain books (esp. some children's books./authors). So we're going to use them either in the ceremony or in our guest book. Here's a link to a site that I spent HOURS on and found some great stuff. There's a real range of excerpts, and you can really pick from anything that catches your fancy.

http://kvetch.indiebride.com/index.php?t=msg&rid=0&S=b1332ac3327964756dbc42d9512cf4ef&prevloaded=1&th=2271&start=80

alyssa324 · December 2009

ahuette- I like the wine box idea. We are much of wine drinkers but maybe we could change it up a bit. i heard of something similar with a bell. The officiant talks and explains the bell and then rings it as they kiss. Then when the couple is in a fight home they can ring the bell to remind them of the day and stop fighting

KSTorkko- The loving cup is a good idea. I like how the cup is passed down. So would the kids sign those papers during the ceremony? or when we sign the marriage certificate.

BrandyL10- Black and tan unity is classic LOL

melissa82 · December 2009

Lots of great ideas here!

My best friend did the blessing of the hands at her ceremony and it was beautiful and different. We're going to have two readings by friends. One will be from the Bible (required for us), the other is "Union" by Robert Fulgrum (sp?). It's really nice timing because it's just before our vows.

If you don't like the unity candle, one idea I found and considered (but don't think my church would have let me do) is to get a bunch of individual candles with a paper wax catcher (like these http://www.churchcandlesonline.com/congregational-candles-drip-protectors-p-941.html) and the officiant asks everyone to light their candles as you say your vows. The wording could have something to do with the candles representing the support of your friends and family and may your love always burn as brightly as the candles yadda yadda. ;-) This would work well for a nighttime ceremony or somewhere that you can turn down the lights, not sure if that applies to you or not.

KST_ · December 2009

I think you have the kids sign it after, but really, since it's more the ceremonial copy and not the official copy, it would be kind of neat to do it as the end of the ceremony right before the kiss.

Also look up Nuremburg Wedding Cup. I really like the idea of it (and the real Nutcracker story has been one of my lifelong favorites and the Nutcracker was from Nuremburg.) There's a charming story of how a poor man and rich girl were in love but the Dad didn't think the guy was worthy. He said if he could find a way where the man and woman could drink from the cup at the same time without spilling a drop, he could marry her.

mgoss228 · December 2009

BrandyL10: The Black and Tan Unity is a great idea! I might just have to steal the idea for my "redneck" wedding in Skagit county

Thanks!

delnmelb · December 2009

My parents suggested we have someone (my MIL) sing a song for us. We could pick it, or have her (or someone else) pick out a song that's meaningful to us and have her (or someone) sing it. That would add on a couple more minutes!

BrandyL10 · December 2009

I thought that was a unique ceremony as well! I suggested Irish Car Bombs, but I don't know if they would allow hard A at the altar, lol!

How to livin up the ceremony?

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