Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Military Brides
Military Brides
New Discussion

Not sure where to have the wedding...will people come?

asabug5asabug5 member
First Comment
in Military Brides
My fiance and I are going to be moving to Florida in 2 months, we just got engaged, and want a big wedding. All of his family is around Wisconsin and mine are more disperesed, many in Maine. We want the wedding to be in FL since it will be easier to plan,but I'm worried that not many people will come. I know the nearest and dearest will of course and he said most of his family will definately go (they are a very close, reunion-type family). Should we have the wedding in FL, or do it in Maine?Frown
Report Reply to Post

Re: Not sure where to have the wedding...will people come?

  • meltoinemeltoine member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What time of year are you thinking? If it's anything other than summer I would say definitely FL.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • beachkbeachk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i am having almost the same problem! my fiance and i live in dc..his family is all in georgia, mine is partly in florida and partly north of dc. i looked at a ton of places online..i didn't want to have it in ga and make my entire family and all our friends travel, and if we had it in florida everyone, including us would have to travel. sooo we are doing dc so it's easier to plan and also because you know, crazy military schedule unpredictability..there's a chance if we had it somewhere else he may have a chance in schedule and not be able to go even if he requested leave.

    i say make it easiest on yourself :)
    Report Reply
  • asabug5asabug5 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    beachk:
    its nice to know others are in the same boat. You see lots of advice online for long distance planning, but none for 100% long distance guests lol.

    Meltoine:
    We are thinking memorial day weekend 2011, so the end of may. We are still deciding,we were first thinking of a fall wedding, but hoping that the 3-day weekend (for most) would help travelers.

    I feel like for me, this picking-the-date-thing may be the most stressful part lol, everthing else is fun. ahhh
    Report Reply
  • kaynix21kaynix21 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Personally, I think people will come. You have more than a year, if you send out save the dates when you're set, and if you can get set soon, I think it'll give people enough notice.

    I also think you should plan it for where you live, I think that makes it a lot easier.

    We're sort of in the same boat. FIs family is dispersed on the East coast, Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, etc. His mom, sister, grandparents a few others are in SC and that's where FI grew up.

    My family is all in California. I do mean all of them. My dad's side is in SoCal, mine in NorCal, where I grew up. FI and I are currently in Nevada (moving to NorCal in a few weeks!!!

    We decided to do the wedding in NorCal 4th of July weekend. We gave people about nine months notice for the three day weekend. We're excepting about 100-120 people. My whole family will make it. All of our friends will make it. And about half of FIs family is coming. That's part of the problem, they all have to travel across the country.

    At least you're all on the same coast. :)

    Plus, who doesn't want to travel to Florida? Beach, nice weather, fun!

    Even though I only live two hours away from where we're having the wedding, it's been a huge PITA to not be there. I only get a weekend off here and there and we never get to go to NorCal, so I have a lot of things I've been waiting on to get done, like cake tasting and Epics. Plus I never know when I'll actually have a weekend off so I can't plan appointments ahead of time.

    So in short IMO: Have the wedding where you'll be living. Give as much notice as you can. And people will come! :)

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • aubreyaliseaubreyalise member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    honestly, if you want to ensure you have a big wedding, i say try picking a location where one of you has a lot of family.

    i grew up in so cal and all of my family is still there, my FI's family & friends are spread out, so we decided to get married in the outer banks, north carolina since we knew NC or richmond (where we live), people would have to travel. i don't regret our decision but it was shocking to see how many people (especially family) originally were on board, but in the end rsvp'd 'no'.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • rojobrorojobro member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance and I had a hard time with that one too.  We decided to do it here where he is stationed (making it a destination wedding for all of our family) because it is easiest for us to plan our wedding where we live.  A lot of out of town guests can't make it, mostly our immediate family is coming.  We have plenty of friends though stationed here also that are going to be at the wedding.  Maybe a little too many lol
    Report Reply
  • leah2bleah2b member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Florida is generally pretty easy to get to with many flights.  It may not be as big as you want, but go for it.  With so many peole traveling, there will inevitably be people that cannot attend.  However, it sounds like you can't avoid this no matter where you have the wedding.   I would love to go to Florida for a wedding.  Any chance I get for sunny weather and the beach sounds great.
    Report Reply
  • prttypancakeprttypancake member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I are in a similar situation. He just got stationed in Florida a few months ago and I am leaving NY to go live with him in a few weeks. (Yay! Can't wait!) Our immediate families are both in NY but we have family and friends scattered around the country and the world. (My mom is originally from Ireland) Some people have made comments about our decision to have the wedding in Florida, but my mom has quickly stepped in to explain to them that it would simply be too difficult and expensive to try to plan a wedding in NY.

    Especially since you are thinking of having a 3 day weekend (which I think is an awesome idea!) you can encourage guests to make a vacation out of it. Instead of just going to a wedding they get to get away from it all and enjoy a few days in beautiful, sunny Florida!
    Report Reply
  • marykate07marykate07 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI and I are both in the military. We are stationed in SC. My family is in Tennessee with my MOH in VA and my other two bridesmaids in IA and MD. FI's family is from PA with BM in PA and other groomsmen in CT and SC. Most of our friends are in SC as well. So we are ALL over the place.
     
    We decided to have the wedding in Tennessee. It was more important for us to have our families with us on THE day. FI also wanted to give me the princess day in my hometown church, so the decision for us was pretty easy. (planning on the other hand has not been)

    We understand your pain though. To solve the problem of our SC friends not being able to come due to military schedules/not much money/holiday time we are throwing a massive New Years bash to celebrate both the holiday and our wedding.

    Good Luck with your planning.
    Report Reply
  • LynxieLynxie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We ran into a similar issue. Most of FI's family is in missouri and his friends are scattered all over the country. My family AND friends are all over the country. There was the added issue of him receiving new orders soon, and having no idea where we'll end up, but our solution for both issues was to plan a destination wedding that was a destination for everyone, including us, and send out save the dates WAY in advance. I figure, as you said, the nearest and dearest will show up, and that's what matters. I vote that you hold your wedding where it makes you happy to do so, whether that be for the reason of location or ease. It's YOUR wedding. It might be a bit inconvenient for some, but maybe if you include a bit of information about attractions in the area along with your hotel info, which will make it seem more like a vacation than a "let's rush down for a wedding and hurry home!" situation. Hope that helps.
    Report Reply
  • AriaGooseAriaGoose member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Same issue here too! 

    Fiance's family is in Detroit, my parents are in Ohio with family spread throughout the midwest.  We live in Mississippi, recently arrived from the UK. 

    There was no choice involved - my parents made it clear we would marry in Cincinnati!  But we had already kinda thought that way anyways.  It was certainly going to be easier on us to have my mom in the area and able to do things versus it all being on us to do it.  It was also closer for folks to travel to Cincy rather than Biloxi (where we are still not feeling at home). 

    Overall, I think it is very do-able to have a wedding somewhere other than where you live, as long as you have a great support system there to help with the details and you are not too particular about wanting to make all the decisions and do all the leg work.  While I wish I could do a little more of it, I fly back about every other month to do some planning with my mom for a weekend here and there.  So far, it has worked for us!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards