Not Engaged Yet

LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!

A friend posted this article on FB, from Oprah.com on Long-Distance Love. This writer's got me all swept up in how amazing it can supposedly be! If I weren't already in one, I might move away from my man! hahaha...I think I'm going to save this to read on all the hard days, of which there are actually plenty.

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Long-Distance-Love_1

Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    That article is ummm....interesting. It definitely makes LDRs sound pretty good, but I am so glad bf and I are done doing long distance. It almost sounds as if the person who wrote the article has seen movies with LDRs (all glamorized and romantic) in them but has never actually been in a long distance relationship.

    Although I did love the excitement of waiting to see my bf at the airport :D


  • zaneopalzaneopal member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm gonna have to agree with Beth here.

    That is so not how my LDR is feeling. Most of the time, it's a quick IM chat (not even a call) to catch up on each other's day, while we're off living our lives. The 6 hour time difference is craziness, and our cell phones don't make international calls, so we have to do with skype, if we have time.

    That being said...I cannot wait to get on that plane and fly to Spain, and beyond that, come home with him. I am ready for this year to be over, and to have him home again.
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    "But as long as you do, you'll embody the twin virtues of independence and imagination. As you fall asleep alone, you'll conjure the scent of your lover's neck, the timbre of a voice over fiber optics, the ecstasy of seeing his face at the front door, which, thanks to him, is your favorite place in the whole house. After so much time apart, a suitcase itself is an aphrodisiac. The boy next door doesn't have a prayer."

    This is the biggest load of candy-coating crap I've ever read.

    LDRs are do-able, but hard. It's a lot of $$, hours traveling, and never having that other person when you need them. This is dumb.
  • edited December 2011
    Long-distance has been great for our relationship.  It's much stronger and our communication is much, much better.  Honestly, before we became LDR, I took my FI for granted just a little bit.  There's something to be said for realizing that every second counts.

    On the other hand, being so far away from the person you love most in this world sucks giant donkey balls. Especially after 5 years of it.  Harumph.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    AW that was a great article baje!   And personally, with FI & I's LDR - that article was SO true.  "Every moment counts."  Those 3 words are the absolute truth - when you don't get to spend every day with your SO, you definitly realize that every waking moment you do have together is very precious.  Now that my LDR is finally over with, I can look back on it and think that it really brought us closer as a couple.  Sure, it was hard...terrible at times in fact...but those moments when I opened my car door and ran to his arms....those are memories that will last a life time  :)
  • bajedivabajediva member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ladies, I definitely feel you...

    Katanne, I'm inclined to agree on that paragraph. I don't get very wistful at all going to sleep alone, hugging my stupid, non-warm, non-loving, non-BF pillow. And I'll put it out there and say the boy next door might get more than a prayer if he knocks at the hormonal height of the month!

    I agree distance can strengthen your relationship and all that jazz, but so does time spent together when you both remain dedicated to the relationship's growth.
  • bajedivabajediva member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ldrs-just-got-glamorous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:31c2cc29-fcdf-451f-94f7-6371867748bcPost:3761efb2-1569-4f45-b95b-06713c74d7e1">Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!</a>:
    [QUOTE]AW that was a great article baje!   And personally, with FI & I's LDR - that article was SO true.  "Every moment counts."  Those 3 words are the absolute truth - when you don't get to spend every day with your SO, you definitly realize that every waking moment you do have together is very precious.  Now that my LDR is finally over with, I can look back on it and think that it really brought us closer as a couple.  Sure, it was hard...terrible at times in fact...but those moments when I opened my car door and ran to his arms....those are memories that will last a life time  :)
    Posted by Soon2BMrsJeter[/QUOTE]
    Indeed. I've got a crate full of treasured memories, and even if something goes wrong and things don't ultimately work out, I can say I'd never regret a day of it. But do you need years of it...? They do make a good point in saying that by nature, they are doomed, since the only way for them to truly work is to morph from long to short distance!
  • babybchbumbabybchbum member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It was well written but Man am I ready to move back home on Saturday and no longer be in a LDR even if I'm not still living with him until we get married.
  • edited December 2011
    Shoooot no you don't need YEARS of it baje!  LOL 
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it also depends how long you've been LDR.

    I was LDR with an ex for 1.5 years. It gets old.
  • edited December 2011
    I did think it was kind of funny that the article made it seem like you had wild, passionate phone sex every night.  Haha... That's going to make every man in the world want a LDR.
  • zaneopalzaneopal member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ldrs-just-got-glamorous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:31c2cc29-fcdf-451f-94f7-6371867748bcPost:b32f1f9c-95c2-4fae-b90f-02ddcbd912d7">Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it also depends how long you've been LDR. I was LDR with an ex for 1.5 years. It gets old.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    I'm with you on this.

    I think How I Met Your Mother summed up LDRs pretty well: all talk and no sex.

    But there's the other little things: I come home and he's not there, no one to comfort me when I'm having a rough day, he's missed out on so many events this year, I can't be there for adventures he goes on, and we've had so many personal problems this year that it's been a rather horrible one to be apart from each other.
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My best friend is on her third (or is it fourth now?) LDR. We joke that she imports men from out of the area. The only thing is, her job is pretty flexible, so she's always the one traveling to see the guys. My relationship was the same way - I had flexibility, so I traveled. And it gets old. I'm glad it's over now. I don't miss being dropped off at the airport, knowing I won't see him again for a few weeks!
  • bajedivabajediva member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ldrs-just-got-glamorous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:31c2cc29-fcdf-451f-94f7-6371867748bcPost:eb2ec22f-4cef-4bac-99f0-876c992da50b">Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did think it was kind of funny that the article made it seem like you had wild, passionate phone sex every night.  Haha... That's going to make every man in the world want a LDR.
    Posted by Soon2BMrsJeter[/QUOTE]
    Hahaha! So right, Jeter. But...as if?! Gals, you can tell me if I'm giving TMI here, but sometimes I find it hard to be anything but real... I think random phone sex might be pretty interesting - take away some senses, add the imagination and stir - might be pretty spicy. The first time. Second time. But a few months in when it dawns on you that this. is. IT. ?? Uh, not so much.

    Man. Sigh. I'm going on JetBlue to look at flights.
  • mythomanicmythomanic member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ldrs-just-got-glamorous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:31c2cc29-fcdf-451f-94f7-6371867748bcPost:0c52e0c9-85a0-42be-8c9f-6fbf6e8353b5">Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get very wistful at all going to sleep alone, hugging my stupid, non-warm, non-loving, non-BF pillow.[/QUOTE]

    Sigh. Been LDR for two years after a year and a half of being in the same place (the first year was really hard - I was in Singapore and he was finishing up college in NH; this year I'm still in Singapore and he's working in Japan, but moving here in August.) Forget wistful, these days I just come home from work and collapse in bed.

    Psst - here's a tip - having a smartphone (like an iPhone or a Droid) helps, so you can Skype or IM on the go!

    [QUOTE]I agree distance can strengthen your relationship and all that jazz, but so does time spent together when you both remain dedicated to the relationship's growth.
    [/QUOTE]

    i think - whether the relationship is long distance or short distance, you both need to put in time and energy and effort for it to grow. If you don't, neither moving in together nor the romance and glamour of an LDR is going to help.
  • zaneopalzaneopal member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ldrs-just-got-glamorous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:31c2cc29-fcdf-451f-94f7-6371867748bcPost:a2139d12-0a26-46b2-a735-5611b6d5c77c">Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: LDRs just got GLAMOROUS! : Psst - here's a tip - having a smartphone (like an iPhone or a Droid) helps, so you can Skype or IM on the go!
    Posted by mythomanic[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, that's true. However, they're rather cost prohibitive--both the smart phone and the data service--for both of us, since we're both students. And again, I don't get international service, and neither does the boyfriend.

    I'll take my quickie IMs and continue counting the days until I get to see him. IM makes me feel detached anyway, and I'm definitely sick of that.
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