September 2011 Weddings

vent- what's the most emotional decision you've made so far?

So, I posted a while back about changing our date to get the venue we wanted, which was fine...until I found out the officiant we want (who is our priestess and like family) won't be able to make it because her daughter's wedding is on the same day!  We JUST got our Save the Date!  I was heartbroken.  I was in love with our venue, but the people we love being there was more important.  Again we considered changing the date.

We didn't.  None of our alternate choices for venues were affordable, acceptable, or what we really wanted for  what we'd pay, and Ryan's parents (who are paying for the venue) really weren't happy with any of them.  We also figured anyone invited to both weddings STILL wouldn't make it because it would mean babysitters, driving, etc two weekends in a row or at least close together.  IShe also couldn't be sure SHE could be there considering she's doing most of the work for her daughter's wedding.  I'm sure she will need some decompression. 

There's really only so much adjustment that's realistic, so we took our date and booked our venue.  I'm really happy we got the venue we fell in love with, but I'm still really sad about thep ossibility that certain members of our spiritual family won't be able to make it.  I also don't want them to feel like they're in an awkward position to choose.  We announced it to them all privately at our last meeting, and made sure no one felt like we were going to be upset if they couldn't make it.  The other wedding was planend first, so it;s only fair. 

I suggested we have them all over for dinner at some point after the wedding to celebrate together, but I'll really miss them being there.  I feel a little guilty.  I feel really selfish. 

Has any of you been in a bind like this? 

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Re: vent- what's the most emotional decision you've made so far?

  • Oh bummer! Frown I haven't been in a position like this but my mom's uncle is a priest and lives in the Netherlands.  FI and I would love it if he's able to come to the US to preside over our ceremony.  If he can't it's understandable but I would be very sad if he's not able to make it.  I understand how important it is to have close family/friends at the wedding.  Are the wedding at the same time? Perhaps some guests could make an appearance at both? Provided the weddings aren't too far away from one another.  I hope you find someone equally as important to you and FI for your ceremony. 
    Hitched! 09.30.11
  • I think a dinner for the congregation sounds nice.

    In Judaism, since a lot of times the majority of the congregation is not invited to the wedding, the grooms parents usually sponsor a kiddush (a meal after services on Shabbat) on the day the groom does the Auf Ruf (when the groom is called up to read from the Torah and then the congregation shows the couple with candy). So a dinner for the group sounds nice. Maybe you could do it after services sometime after you are married.
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