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bridal party advice needed!

jeremys_jacquelinejeremys_jacqueline
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have my bridesmaids all laid out, and my fiance has his groomsmen, but heres the sticky sitch- my bf is a guy, and really wants to be involved with the wedding, but my moh has already been chosen because i assumed he wouldnt want a "girl" position... what can I do with him?
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Re: bridal party advice needed!

  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Have him be an usher or see if your FI is okay with him being a GM. Don't worry about sides being even, it's not a big deal.
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  • thesuninherheadthesuninherhead member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would ask him to stand on your side in a suit. Why not, if he is your close friend? I would at least ask him and see what he says before you decide to offer him a different role.
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:609b0e7b-43d5-4c8e-b409-7431058c4297Post:0d618ddd-2902-41fe-83a8-b0107f708664">Re: bridal party advice needed!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would ask him to stand on your side in a suit. Why not, if he is your close friend? I would at least ask him and see what he says before you decide to offer him a different role.
    Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

    I totally meant to write that in, too. Haha.
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  • KnibletKniblet member
    First Comment
    A bride on my board has a female on her FI's side.  The girl is a close friend of the groom so she is standing on his side.  No big deal.

    Ask your friend if he would be comfortable with that.  If he says no, then ask him to be an usher.  It never hurts to ask.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I think you should have him stand up for you. 
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Have him stand up on your side.  Your wedding parties should be comprised of the people that you love and are important in your lives.  Don't worry about the sides being even or of the same gender.  It really doesn't matter. 

    We had both a "bridesman" and a "groomswoman."  We simply listed everyone in the program under "Brides Attendants" and "Groom's attendants"

    Pics in wedding bio, if you want to "see" how it would look with mixed parties
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Why not just ask him to either be co MOH or another BM? 
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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    I agree with everyone and think it's sad that you asked everyone and not your BEST FRIEND just because of his gender.  What a blow to your friendship.
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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Oh, unless you mean that bf is boyfriend and then I think that he shouldn't be in your wedding party.  Tongue out
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  • jessicarose78jessicarose78 member
    First Comment
    I think it is most important to have your close friends in the bridal party. Don't get too hung up on having the exact same number of groomsmen and bridesmaids and don't get hung up on gender. Also, I think it is fine to have two people of honor. I have a matron of honor and maid of honor and they are happy to share people of honor duties...
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:609b0e7b-43d5-4c8e-b409-7431058c4297Post:70e54c36-28c4-47b2-98a6-9da94526e94c">Re: bridal party advice needed!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with everyone and think it's sad that you asked everyone and not your BEST FRIEND just because of his gender.  What a blow to your friendship.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    This, exactly.  Wedding parties are not about numbers and gender.  They are about honoring the people you love.

    And WTF are people of honor duties?
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  • megandjaymegandjay member
    First Comment
    Ask him to be on your side, my FI is having his sister as his 'Best Person'. It is about having the people- friends or family- who are closest to you, stand by you on this imporant day, not what they look like or 'even sides'.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:609b0e7b-43d5-4c8e-b409-7431058c4297Post:70e54c36-28c4-47b2-98a6-9da94526e94c">Re: bridal party advice needed!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with everyone and think it's sad that you asked everyone and not your BEST FRIEND just because of his gender.  What a blow to your friendship.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    Agreed.  This is super crappy to do to someone you claim is your best friend.  Who is your MOH, just some person you sort of like that happens to have a vajayjay?
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  • hartsheadhartshead
    First Comment
    edited January 2010
    I think she was just asking for honest opinions and not knowing the whole story, I'm not really sure why anyone would feel the need to add non-constructive comments about the situation. 
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  • notaprincessbridenotaprincessbride member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    Definitely consider having him stand up with you.  That said, I don't blame you for not thinking of it right away.  In many parts of the country, single-sex wedding parties are so standard it doesn't always occur to people that a different approach is possible.  I'm back on TK after a long absence b/c I've been helping my BF and his FI with planning.  (Plus I just missed it.) 

    I was happy, but surprised when he asked my to be his Best Person, and I know people tend to be a bit shocked and ask me a dozen times if the bride is really OK with it.  So you'll get no sh*t from me for not automatically thinking about putting him in your wedding party; if you now decide not to b/c of concern for pictures, symmetry, etc., THEN I might get a bit judgy.
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