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Consulting the Calendar...

merie412merie412 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in South Asian Weddings
Hello Again My Helpful Brides!!

Quick question....
FI and I are busy looking at venues, and would like to put a deposit on one SOON. We reallly want to get married next September, so alot of places are already booking up for that time, seeing as it's only a year out..
We spoke with his parents about this (and those of you who remember, these are the people that weren't soooooo keen on the whole wedding thing anyway)
His parents have resolved themselves to the fact that we're not going to delay until 2013, like they wanted, but now his mom is telling us that we have to wait to book anything until she consults her new calendar that she'll get in November during the Indian New Year. She said that next September might have a "bad omen" on it and if it does, we'll either have to move the wedding forward to August, or push it back to October.
I'm ok with delaying or speeding up the process by a month, but she never once mentioned this bad omen thing until a few days ago, which makes me almost want to doubt what she's telling me. I don't want to believe that she's trying to pull one over, but at the same time, it's out of the blue that she's saying she has to look for this in her calendar, and I'm just worried she's trying to delay us further. (I'm super paranoid that there won't be any venues left by the time November rolls around and she's gotten around to consulting with the calendar).
So my question is, have any of you ladies heard of this "bad omen" thing? My FI is no help on this matter, seeing as he's never paid attention to any of the customs and practices and I'm completely clueless about all of it. Can someone explain this to me? My FMIL was having trouble coming up with the way to tell me in English so that I'd understand.

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Re: Consulting the Calendar...

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    raangoliraangoli
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The "bad omen" dates on the calendar is true. It usually falls before the start of the Navratri and New Year season, so your FMIL is not trying to pull a fast one here. In fact, it's nice that she's thinking about this since it's inauspicious to start new beginnings during this time. We delayed our wedding until after Diwali because there were these simliar "dark" days that we wanted to avoid. And I've even put of picking up a new car during these dates on the calendar (that my parents tell me about, I have no idea how to identify them).

    I think you will be fine waiting to find a venue, but you can of course keep looking now and finding out what their availability is. The new calendars may be available now, or even online (maybe?) since Diwali is at the end of October this year. If nothing else, maybe she get can one in a few weeks?

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    laurelewlaurelew member
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    edited December 2011
    I had a similar problem and I'm getting married next September as well.   I am Catholic and my fiance is Hindu so I had no idea about bad omen days until the wedding planning started.  We knew we def wanted to get married in the fall but I was told by his mom that the beginning of November might not be good and most of October was out due to Diwali.  We started looking at Sept and I had settled on Sunday, Sept 16th for the Catholic wedding when my FMIL found out Saturday, Sept 15th was one of the monthly bad omen days (apparently there's monthly bad omen days and then annual bad omen days and unfortunately for us I found out a lot of these appeared to fall in autumn... or at least that's what it felt like to me).

    Luckily the venues that I wanted were also available for the previous weekend so I will be getting married exactly one year from today on Sunday, Sept 9th and the Hindu ceremony will take place the day before on Saturday, Sept 8th.  It's earlier in the season than I had hoped for (and technically not even in fall) but all's well that ends well. 

    Oh and apparently after we had already booked everything I was told that the end of October and November might not have been so bad after all but that the calendar's weren't out yet, groan.

    Hope this helps.  Good luck with the planning!
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    merie412merie412 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok. Makes sense. I didn't want to really doubt her intentions, but with all the resistance they showed us in the beginning, a little bit of me did. I do think it's sweet of her ( now that I know her intentions are honest) she told me..."I don't want you starting off with bad luck". I'm sad to hear about the 15/16, that was the weekend we were looking at. :( I'm just having a tiny bit of anxiety about not having the venue nailed down. I know well probably be fine. :) Thank you both for your informative responses. :)
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    jsleikjsleik
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is totaly legit!  Good attitude on your part to just embrace it! :-)  Fall is a really tough time to get married with the Hindu calendar, so are you OK with a Nov/Dec wedding?  I know that gets tricker with American holidays, but most Indian weddings are Nov - Jan and June-ish to avoid bad times.  On the upside - venues might be a little cheaper getting out of the busiest wedding times here!
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