Not Enough Wedding Guests?

btartaroind · September 2010

So my parents are paying for most of our wedding, and can afford about 125-130 guests at our venue. We did some careful calculations and invited 190. I have heard about 15 percent won't come to the wedding, and others will say yes and then just not show up.

Our wedding is in pretty much exactly a month. So far we only have 79 total guests coming. We have 55 that have yet to respond, and in guessing I think our total will be 108. (not including those who just dont show up) I am a little bummed because I always wanted a bigger wedding. Should I send out some more invites or just deal with the number of guests? There are people who we really would have liked to invite, but didnt think we had the room. I never thought we'd come UNDER our mark...

frogurt814 · September 2010

IMO, you should not send out invites to others. With such short notice, they will know they were on the B list which implies to them that they are not as important to you as other guests. That's just my opinion, though.

The less guests you have, the more time you will get to spend with each guest. Don't stress out about this.

tldh · September 2010

Don't send out more invites. It would be an obvious B list and would offend a lot of people.

I understand how you are feeling though. We are having a small wedding already and have four couple not attending. These are my best friends who have the best excuses in the world for not coming: back surgery, police chief has suspended vacations, friend's mom just started chemo, autoimmune disease is flaring up. Obviously, I can't be upset but I am sad since I was in their weddings or travelled pretty far to attend.

ohwhynot · September 2010

Enjoy the guests you have! Do NOT send out another round of invitations - that would be insulting to those who receive them. You will be able to spend more time with your guests now, so it's a bonus to you. Although really, 108 is not that far off from 125.

I think it's a little off-putting that you're not even thinking of the $$ your parents will save. This is a bonus for them, too.

breezerb · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_not-enough-wedding-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:3cc7506a-4402-4348-8886-a2861c2e5eabPost:e5b93ac1-e19b-4c14-b39b-f8d16cdc2004">Re: Not Enough Wedding Guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]IMO, you should not send out invites to others. With such short notice, they will know they were on the B list which implies to them that they are not as important to you as other guests. That's just my opinion, though. The less guests you have, the more time you will get to spend with each guest. Don't stress out about this.
Posted by frogurt814[/QUOTE]

This. Great advice.

btartaroind · September 2010

Thanks guys! I just think it's one of those days where I am way over analyzing things... I will just put my extra invites in my scrapbook

bellebride116 · September 2010

You could have definitely invited more guests if you had more time. There's nothing wrong with a B list, but you should have set your original RSVP date earlier so the people on the B list would have no idea they are not on the main list, make sense? However, at this point, it's a little late for that, and pp are right, it would be so obvious {and insulting} to these other guests that you are just trying to fill space. At this point, just enjoy the guests who will be there!

loop0406 · September 2010

Of those 55 who haven't responded, what if they all respond ?

Do they have dates/plus 1 allowed ?

If 55 respond and you already have 79, thats 134. If they are bringing a guest, that is over your 130 limit to begin with

stephl3055 · September 2010

Don't invite more. You took a HUGE risk by inviting 190 people when you could only afford 125-130. What if all of them had said yes and decided to come? You would've been beyond screwed.

Never assume less than 100% attendance because there have been multiple girls on here and other boards where all of the people invited attended.

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

So you were hoping for 125, and you're expecting 108. Now, if you were anticipating 150 and 50 showed up, yes, that's a big difference, and I'd understand if you were disappointed. But to feel that way over 17 people? You're being silly.

mattycam · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_not-enough-wedding-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:3cc7506a-4402-4348-8886-a2861c2e5eabPost:0d59141e-718a-4f2c-bcfd-d5dbb251dca0">Re: Not Enough Wedding Guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]You could have definitely invited more guests if you had more time. There's nothing wrong with a B list, but you should have set your original RSVP date earlier so the people on the B list would have no idea they are not on the main list, make sense? However, at this point, it's a little late for that, and pp are right, it would be so obvious {and insulting} to these other guests that you are just trying to fill space. At this point, just enjoy the guests who will be there!
Posted by bellebride116[/QUOTE]

agreed

Dorisalan · September 2010

That is not a very big difference. People will suprise you though, especially sending the RSVPs back upon the due date. You still have a month left. But, if you want to send out a few more invites, I think it is OK. Most people are not gonna analyze the time-frame of when they get your wedding invitation. All of us here are in wedding planning and etiquette mode. But, most people would not look that deeply into the timing.

kpwedkk · September 2010

Don't send out additional invites. Instead, start calling those that haven't RSVP'd yet and get a count. You have to give final counts to your vendors 2 weeks away from your wedding, or whenever you are contractually obligated.

cmmosley81 · September 2010

I think it would be in very poor taste to send out more invites. If I got one knowing it was so close to the RSVP date I would think did she forget me the first time or was I never invited till now. I agree with steph inviting over your limit is too risky. And you should maybe make a call to those who havent responded and simply ask if they got the invite.

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

Don't call unless your RSVP date has actually passed, though. From what I've seen, it's usually three weeks before the wedding. You do need to track down the missing RSVPs, but wait until they're actually missing (2-3 business days after the date you set on the response card) to star making calls.

LauraT25 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_not-enough-wedding-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3cc7506a-4402-4348-8886-a2861c2e5eabPost:974d59be-a8e6-4bc1-af31-990c4c86c53e">Re: Not Enough Wedding Guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]That is not a very big difference. People will suprise you though, especially sending the RSVPs back upon the due date. You still have a month left. But, if you want to send out a few more invites, I think it is OK. <strong> Most people are not gonna analyze the time-frame of when they get your wedding invitation. All of us here are in wedding planning and etiquette mode. But, most people would not look that deeply into the timing.</strong>
Posted by Dorisalan[/QUOTE]

I disagree. I have been on the receiving end of a B-list invite, years before planning a wedding, and I definitely noticed the timing. It's pretty inconsiderate, particularly since people might need time to make reservations and take time off from work, and her RSVP date must be coming up fairly quickly.

HobokensFury · September 2010

B lists are in bad taste. Do not invite more guests. Enjoy the guests you have.

brilibby4 · September 2010

Why would you want to invite people to your wedding who didn't mean enough to you to get an invite in the first place?

btartaroind · September 2010

I would have invited these people if i had an endless budget. We were actually pretty upset we couldnt invite them in the first place. This is why I was trying to work something out... Most of the people cut were me and my FI friends (since we are not paying). I honestly dont think any of these people would be offended, and they also dont know other people invited. But I have decided not to invite them anyway. I dont want to deal with another round of invites and RSVPs.

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