Reception only invite

SuttonStealer · April 2010

Would you be offended if you were only invited to someone's reception and not their ceremony?

The ceremony site we found only seats 40 people so we were going to just invite close family and friends... and then invite 60 more people to the reception.

I've heard of people doing this, but I'm not sure if its okay to do.

pumpkinpumpkin · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c814cd15-c394-41ea-a723-7073791eef9bPost:9c3845c6-8e47-45c2-8126-c18e7981e8b8">Reception only invite</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Would you be offended if you were only invited to someone's reception and not their ceremony?</strong> The ceremony site we found only seats 40 people so we were going to just invite close family and friends... and then invite 60 more people to the reception. I've heard of people doing this, but I'm not sure if its okay to do.
Posted by SuttonStealer[/QUOTE]

Lurk.

EXTREMELY. Not okay. At all. Your guests will be offended.

Nebb · April 2010

While I think its fine to invite people to reception only in some instances, its really only acceptable if you are having a SMALL, private ceremony with fewer than 20 people (Id say even 15 is pushing it).

MissLeahM · April 2010

Its not okay to do.

They do it a lot here but I still don't like the idea of it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

I'm with Nebb. If you have a good reason for a teeny-tiny ceremony, I can understand. But, "We don't have enough seats for you, so we're dividing the guest list into 2 tiers" is not okay.

SuttonStealer · April 2010

We aren't inviting non-family members to the ceremony. He has a very large family, and I have a small family, 27 out of the 40 is his family.. grandparents, siblings, parents, and aunts/uncles..... thats it.

ohwhynot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c814cd15-c394-41ea-a723-7073791eef9bPost:2496d261-7622-4b66-ab26-3349d79f97ef">Re: Reception only invite</a>:
[QUOTE]We aren't inviting non-family members to the ceremony. He has a very large family, and I have a small family, 27 out of the 40 is his family.. grandparents, siblings, parents, and aunts/uncles..... thats it.
Posted by SuttonStealer[/QUOTE]

Except that your first post said this: The ceremony site we found only seats 40 people <strong>so we were going to just invite close family and friends</strong>... and then invite 60 more people to the reception.

Aunts/uncles aren't even immediate family, and your first post said friends, too. In any event, the consensus is pretty clear.

emilyinchile · April 2010

Aunts/uncles aren't immediate family. As soon as you add anyone beyond parents, siblings, grandparents and your own children, to me it becomes not ok to have only some people invited to the ceremony. You need to find a bigger venue or cut the guest list.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c814cd15-c394-41ea-a723-7073791eef9bPost:2496d261-7622-4b66-ab26-3349d79f97ef">Re: Reception only invite</a>:
[QUOTE]We aren't inviting non-family members to the ceremony. He has a very large family, and I have a small family, 27 out of the 40 is his family.. grandparents, siblings, parents, and aunts/uncles..... thats it.
Posted by SuttonStealer[/QUOTE]

<div>Aunts and uncles aren't immediate family. If you're going to do this, it needs to be parents, siblings, and maybe grandparents (and your kids if you have any). That's it. Everyone else can come to the reception. </div><div>
</div><div>It's all about proportion. 40 ceremony/100 total would be rude. 20 ceremony/100 total? Understandable. </div>

Koopa17 · April 2010

Having a big family isn't an excuse to be rude. Find another venue.

brookelynpaisley · April 2010

It's certainly better than the other way around, but I still wouldn't do it unless you were literally only inviting parents, siblings, and grandparents to the ceremony.

Guests who are invited to your reception will feel obligated to not show up empty handed, so even though you'd be inviting them to dinner and such, you'd still be essentially asking for a gift without letting them in on the reason for the gift, aka the ceremony.

CMJ&MDL2010 · April 2010

I received an invitation to a wedding reception only. I wasn't a family member or a close friend of the couple -- just a casual friend of the groom. At first, I thought that the ceremony was going to be at the reception venue, but then realized that the wedding had been a small group (they all arrived with the bride and groom at the venue). I was not offended at all, and was just happy that they thought of having me at the party, and figured that there was a reason for limiting the number of guests to the ceremony.

nattles19 · June 2010

Hmmm, I'm feeling dismayed that so many people find this idea offensive. As of right now my fiance and I are planning on having a morning ceremony of 20 people and then a larger evening reception with cocktails and dancing. I am not a person who enjoys being the center of attention and the idea of getting married in front of people I barely know (his co-workers, casual dates of friends, my co-workers' spouses) makes me want to shrivel up and disappear. It seems like it should be a more intimate moment. Perhaps I need to rethink!

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