Pre-wedding Parties

Trying not to go Bridezilla on my MOH/little sister...HELP!

My MOH is my 19yr old little sister who is still into wild partying. She and my cousin are planning my bachlorette party. My cousin has finally been able to talk her out of strippers for which I am very grateful. But they want to do the BP like the weekend before and get me "totally smashed" (their words) cause they think that's the whole point...neither of them have been married. Anyways this is a problem because two of my BM live 5-6 hours away and I know they will be upset if they can't go to the BP but I also know finanically and schedule wise they just can't come down two weekends in a row. I've told my MOH that I want the BP the night before (cause I like the tradition of it being your last single night) and that going out is fine but that I don't want to get trashed I just want to have a good time with my girls. But she just keeps talking about doing it her way and everytime I try to tell her that's not what I want she just sighs and says "well then I just don't know what to do cause that won't work."

How do I tell her that it's my day and I don't want to do it that way without sounding like a huge bridezilla and be able to get her to listen?

Re: Trying not to go Bridezilla on my MOH/little sister...HELP!

  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You aren't obligated to accept the offer of a b-party. You do have the right to decline.

    Although, if you don't want to decline, perhaps you could mention to your sister that she, and you, will probably not want to have horrible hangovers the morning of your wedding (since you're doing the b-party the night before.) Tell her you appreciate her willingness to throw you a b-party, but you'd like to keep things a bit more low-key since you'll be extremely busy the next day.
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  • edited December 2011
    I think it's perfectly okay to talk to her about what would make you happy, as long as it doesn't include huge dollar signs attached (like renting a limo or something).  I think it's perfectly fine to say, "Listen, I really appreciate that you're trying to make sure I have lots of fun at my bachelorette party.  But getting wildly drunk isn't fun for me, and I won't be having that much alcohol anyway.  If you really want to do something that makes me happy, I'd be thrilled to go out to dinner with my bridesmaids and friends who wanted to come.  I like the idea of going out the night before the wedding as it's my last night as a single lady, and all my good friends will already be in town for the wedding. As we'll be super busy the next day and because I'm not interested in getting drunk anyway, I'd prefer to have a nice low-key fun night doing something goofy like singing songs at a kareoke bar or a pajama party while watching movies."

    It's not okay to plan your own party or demand that anyone plan one for you, but it sounds like your MOH/sister and cousin are already trying to plan something for you.  It's fine to tell them your preferences, especially if what they're planning is something you would not enjoy at all (strippers and wild intoxication when your friends aren't there, for example).
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  • budvar1012budvar1012 member
    edited December 2011
    Your little sister seems to have highly selective hearing. Just tell her you're not going to get smashed because you don't effing well feel like it, though if she wants to, then fine for her. She might look forward to peeling the inside of her cheeks off her teeth and smelling the stench of vomit on her breath, but that doesn't mean you'd like to acquire some stinkky drunkbreath of your own...
    If,however, she'd like to make this memorable for you in some other way, then you might be able to give her a few ideas--the poster above was way more eloquent than I could ever be. X is out, A, B, or C could be in. You pick, little sis.
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  • nannewmurnannewmur member
    edited December 2011
    Two things are coming to mind-what is legal drinking age where this party is?  If sister is 19, is it legal for her to buy it and if she and cousin are underage, who will be held responsible if something happens to them (who purchased the alcohol is who is responsible, in most cases.) 

    Second is, most underaged, and I am assuming here, think it is cool to get someone trashed.  If you are old enough to get married, you control what goes in your mouth so whether or not you get trashed is up to you.  I would set her down, explain that it is cost prohibitive for people you want to be there and unreasonable to expect people to give up two weekends  in a row for your wedding festivities.  It cost a lot to be in a wedding, in most cases, and she probably has no experience in this.

    As pp said, you are not obligated to accept her BP offer.
  • kjreedkjreed member
    edited December 2011
    I am sure you will be able to meet somewhere in the middle, since legally she isn't even old enough to get "smashed" I plan on having drinks with my girls at my BP but no one will be able to force drinks down my throat...... just make sure you approve of the place you will be going and drink as much as YOU like.....
  • edited December 2011
    In Texas if your parent or legan gardian is with you they can buy you drinks as long as they stay around you. My stepmom and probably mother will be going out with us. And she always bugs them until she gets what she wants. So she will be drinking.

    Anyways, I tried to talk to her about it and tell her one more time that I do not want to do the things that she likes to do. She says I'm going to like it and everything will be fine and that if I bring it up one more time she will make sure to do everything I don't want her to do :-( I want to believe and trust her but with that attitude it's kind of hard.

    I really didn't want to not except the BP cause it is literally the only one of her MOH responsiblties that she says she will do but, it's starting to look like i'm going to have to just plan this on my own too. which sucks but whatever. my mom keeps telling me to demote her but I just can't do it.

    thanks for all of y'alls advice
    Wish me luck!!
  • edited December 2011
    Wow, your little sister is being disrespectful to not only you but your wishes too. It's rude for her to make you have a bachelorette party you don't want. If I were in your position I would tell her politely if she arranges such a party I would not be going. Plain and simple. You shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want to. Besides, she's your little sister. She'll make a fuss but eventually she'll get over the fact that you don't want the same type of party she wants. At least, I hope she will. Anyway, I hope things turn out all right.
  • edited December 2011
    I guess I'd talk to her and ask her how she'd like YOU to behave for HER wedding, like a brat who doesn't really care about making the bride happy at all, or like a good MOH who wants to make the best out of her special event. Except, you know, nicer. :)

    I think it's ridiculous that she's doing this, and if she were my MOH I'd have a serious talk about whether or not she can handle the duties. Just because she's been given the responsibility doesn't mean she HAS to do it, and although you'd rather not take this away from her, you will if she can't do what you really wish for. Just my 2 cents.
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