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Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, and Bridesmaid

Keb1216Keb1216
First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
in Moms and Maids
I didn't even think of this, till I just read a post about a bride demoting her Maid of Honor, because she wasn't helping her.
 
My sister is my Maid of Honor, my best friend is my Matron of Honor, and then a really good friend of FI & I is a bridesmaid. I was the Maid of Honor in my Bridesmaids wedding. Is it rude to have her as a bridesmaid? Should she be a Matron of Honor too? I don't have more Bridesmaids because I want a small wedding party. I never even thought about it being possibly rude to only have one bridesmaid. But after reading postings on the other thread..maybe I'm being rude too? What would you do?
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Re: Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, and Bridesmaid

  • FutureJilliannDFutureJilliannD member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is not rude at all. Weddings are not tit for tat.

    Now, had you been like well, she didn't make me the MOH at her wedding, so I am now letting her only be a BM, that would be rude.
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  • Keb1216Keb1216
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Thank you! Glad to know I'm not being rude :)
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Meh, the titles are overrated.  If she takes offense, there's not much you can do now to rectify it.  In a perfect world, it would be best to have them all as bridesmaid or just one as MOH so one doesn't feel left out.  But what's done is done, and doing anything more or bringing it up could only make it worse.

    You certainly don't "owe" her a MOH spot because you were her MOH, so don't feel bad about that!

    If she's accepted to be your BM and hasn't made a fuss about not being titled "MOH", then you're all good.  Better to just let it go!

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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PPs, no reason that the one girl should be your MOH just because you were hers.

    But I think it's a bit awkward to have two MsOH and only one BM.
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  • Keb1216Keb1216
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    She did accept it, so I'm good. I was just worried earlier when I read a post. I don't want to be a rude bride.
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  • Dberkely11Dberkely11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's rude. One of my bridesmaids didn't have me in her wedding, but I'm having her because she means a lot to me and has been there for me and through my relationship with my fiance. I agree it's not tit for tat...it's based on what feels right to you.
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  • SirJuliusVonHaastSirJuliusVonHaast
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Am I reading this question wrong? 

    It seems like everyone is responding about things not being tit for tat, but I think the question is actually if it's rude to have 2 MOH and 1 regular BM, because the 1 BM will feel singled out in a negative way, right?

    I think I'm the person who wrote it in the other post, so I'll wait to see what others say. 

    ETA: From a practical standpoint, it's probably more awkward to change things at this point, if you've already asked them. It's not ideal, but I would just leave it be if she doesn't seem offended. 
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  • heinz11mswheinz11msw
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both of my Matron of Honors had their sisters as their MOH and I was a bridesmaid. I understand since sisters are family and they are both close to their sisters. Keep what you are doing.

    However.... I think having 2 MOH and 1 BM may hurt her feelings. Maybe you can just have the sis as a MOH and have 2 BM?
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