this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Threatening not to come.

twohollydaystwohollydays member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I have a question. I just read about a bride who was bothered because someone threatened not to come to her wedding. 

Would you care? I wouldnt. Im inviting who I want there and I can afford to host properly. If anyone were to threaten not to come for any reason (not being able to bring a date, not liking the timing, not liking that we didnt invite other relatives/friends), I would just accept his regrets and put that toward my upgrade at the hall. 

Do you all care if a guest threatens not to come?

Report Reply to Post

Re: Threatening not to come.

  • allyson+williamsallyson+williams member
    100 Comments
    I agree with you.  I wouldn't care at all if someone who was obnoxious enough to make demands at my party chose not to come.  Good riddance!
    Report Reply
  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    It would have been very hard for me if it had been someone I'm close to and have a good relationship with - parents, grandparents, etc.  However, if it was someone like h's grandma, who we expected to threaten not to come, I would have just rolled with it.
    Report Reply
  • mespence47mespence47 member
    10 Comments
    I agree. I'm not a big it's MY day kind of girl, well, not at all, but that just crosses the line.  

    I sent out my invitations on Saturday. I'm expecting a few angry phone calls in regards to people's children not being invited.  Maybe they'll threaten not to come... Hm. 
    Report Reply
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If they threaten not to come they will be waiting for you to give in.  That's when you just smile and say, "I"m sorry you won't be able to join us.  You will be missed."
    Report Reply
  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    No, I wouldn't care.  I wouldn't let someone bully or guilt me.
    imageDaisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • twohollydaystwohollydays member
    100 Comments

    I think that is the craziest thing ever. I can see saying I wont pay for you to have your wedding/reception unless you let Uncle Phillip officiate or whatever but that to is pushing it but to not be paying for the event and to threaten not to come. Wow. 

    It is so sad. I mean all that energy can go to helping in some other way. I never threaten not to attend an event. If I disagree with something I just stay home. I dont need to talk bad about it or contact the host and threaten not to come. I just stay home. 

    Report Reply
  • impslaveimpslave
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    My youngest brother and his wife didn't come to our wedding because of family drama.  Fine with us, we used the money we would have spent on their meals and upgraded our menu for the guests who did join us.
    image
    Planning Bio | Married Bio
    Report Reply
  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    I think it might irk me a little that they were being such an obnoxious brat, but it's not something I'd loose sleep over.

    I really find it amazing how crazy people get when it comes to weddings (brides, guests, BM's, etc). Everyone seems to think it's ALL about them. Good grief.
    image
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    My older brother threatened not to attend because we didn't invite his teenage sons with guest.

    I told him that we would miss him.

    After the entire family, and his wife, went BSC at him, he did attend.

    and he sent me flowers to apologise
    Report Reply
  • amyderrahamyderrah
    10 Comments
    My dad took it upon himself to assume that my Grandmother and Uncles (3 people in total) would leave the cocktail hour/reception if there was drinking.  He threatened me on behalf of them and I don't think that they even know about it.  He's really worried that she will get offended at seeing people drink and feel like she has to leave.  (A little different than second cousin Sally not coming if you don't serve chicken but) We're having a style of wedding that doesn't fit Fi or my wishes or personality, and goes against etiquette, so that these 3 people will stay until the dancing starts (The bar will open then, only wine with dinner before, non-alcoholic drinks for cocktail hour).  My dad put it this way, my Grandmother has supported me with some things in the past and it would seem really ungracious to have a type of wedding that would make her feel like she had to leave at the start.  This way, at least, she'll get dinner and get to see the cake cutting and first dance.  The other 125 guests will just have to bide their time until the bar opens, I guess.  I feel really bad for the guests, but I seem to have no choice.
    Report Reply
  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Amy, I don't see anything in your post that goes against etiquette.  You are providing drinks to your guest and not charging them at any point, correct?
    Report Reply
  • twohollydaystwohollydays member
    100 Comments
    bsc
    Report Reply
  • blahblah85blahblah85
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_threatening-not-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bdbdd7c3-1ad5-4ccb-87a2-dc8c6d75f31aPost:c87c5ced-ee06-4eca-b406-76b45b011f57">Re: Threatening not to come.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree. I'm not a big it's MY day kind of girl, well, not at all, but that just crosses the line.   I sent out my invitations on Saturday. I'm expecting a few angry phone calls in regards to people's children not being invited.  Maybe they'll threaten not to come... Hm. 
    Posted by mespence47[/QUOTE]

    I'm expecting the same.  My MOH already tried pulling that, "I don't think I can get a babysitter."  crap, and we are a year out!  She'd be the only one I'd be upset about.  As long as Fi and my close family, and the WP shows I really don't care.  Its less money out of our pockets.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards