Really stupid Dr. questions, since I've never done this before

seesawgirl · May 2012

I know this is a stupid thing to be asking on the E board, but I need some womanly advice.
Since DH and I are married, I am now covered under his health insurance, so, I'm trying to find a doctor.
The only problem is...I've never been to a doctor before. Ever. I've had to go the ER for work related things, and I've been to the health department a few times for TB tests and papsmears, but I have worked for a non profit organization most of my adult life, that only offered really crappy, yet expensive insurance, and when I was a kid, my parents were crazy religious freaks that didn't believe in taking us to the doctor.

So anyways, I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to tell the doctor on my first visit. Do I tell him/her about all of my issues up front? (Irregular periods, weird twitchy pain all over the left side of my body for years, suspected hormonal imbalance, since that runs in my family, and I'm sprouting hair in places a woman should never sprout hair) I'm really concerned that I'll come across as whiney, or being a hypochondriac, and/or that I'll be denied coverage if these are pre-exsiting conditions, so I'm wondering if I should be up front, or just be like "I'm just here for a tune-up", and then come later with my various worries.

Also, do I look for a gynecologist, AND a primary care physician, or do they do the same thing? Do you prefer a male or a female doctor, and why?

I'm really sorry, I know these are idiotic questions, but I really don't have anyone else to ask.

aragx6 · May 2012

Go ahead and make an appointment for a yearly physical with a family medicine doctor -- they'll do simple stuff like take your blood pressure, but you should also be sure to have bloodwork drawn to test your glucose, your cholesterol, all that good stuff.

A family doctor should also be able to do a pap smear no problem (that's who I had do mine this last time), but your insurance coverage should also cover a gynecologist as well, so you might just want to do both. I prefer female doctors, but that's really just personal preference.

krizzo17 · May 2012

The first time you visit a new doctor, they usually give you a huge list of questions about your family and personal medical history. It will include questions about your period, so that will be addressed, and will probably ask about "symptoms" you experience, which is where you'd write about the pain and twitching. If you explain to the doctor that you've never had a physical before, they'll likely ask you more questions, and explain a lot of stuff.

A gynecologist is different from a pcp, and just deals with "lady issues" (although your pcp can deal with some of them, too). This includes your reproductive system, some urinary tract things, and your breasts. I'd suggest looking up online exactly what happens at a gyn exam so you know what to expect. Most gyns walk their patients through what is going on, especially teh first time. And remember, if anything makes you uncomfortable, you can always ask the doctor to stop. They understand that this is difficult for some women.

As far as male/female, I don't really have a preference (and remember, you won't get your choice when delivering a baby, although by then I don't think many women actually care who gets it out), but you may want to start with female doctors since you don't know what to expect yet.

Anyway, good for you for taking this step for your health, so many people never get proper health care because they are scared, uncomfortable, or embarressed that they never had it before.

melanieky · May 2012

Yeah, you should probably tell the doctor all your issues you are having upfront so they can figure out what is going on and so they can help you.

As a woman, I would find a gynecologist as well since you are having irregular periods. I've always gone to a woman gyno because I just feel more comfortable talking to girl about periods/pregnancy and all that.

angelstar975 · May 2012

If you're already covered under your H's insurance, you don't have to worry about pre-existing conditions since they already accepted you. However, it doesn't sound like you have any diagnosed pre-existing conditions anyway, just symptoms. It's only the diagnosis that matters.

Definitely get a primary care physician and a separate gynecologist. You might even want to get a PC doctor first and have them recommend a gynecologist. And I prefer a female doctor, because I feel weird about a male that I'm not involved with touching my girly parts, but that's just me. I know other people say they prefer a male doctor because it's weird to have a woman touching them down there.

And it's best to be up front about everything right away. A good doctor will take you seriously and not think you're a hypochondriac because you have lots of symptoms. If the doctor you go to first brushes you off, find a new one. You should never have to hide your health concerns from your doctor because your'e afraid you won't be taken seriously.

egm900 · May 2012

Get a primary care physician first, this can either be an internist or family medicine. When you call to make your appointment, you can either tell them you need a yearly check up, or that you've never visited a doctor before and want a regular check up (I would tell them that you've never been before so they will hopefully block out more time). I try to make a list of concerns before I go, and I let the doctor know I have it when they walk in the room. I would also tell the doctor that for various reasons, you have never really seen a doctor outside of the ER or occasional health department screening/visit. A condition has to be diagnosed by a doctor to be considered pre-existing, so tell them everything.

If you choose a family medicine doctor, they may be willing to do your pap, you have to ask. If you see an internist, they're going to refer you to a gyn. I personally prefer female doctors, but I've had some great male doctors. I choose whether I'm going to return to someone based on if I think they listen to what I have to say and take me seriously. I try to ask friends or doctors that I like who I should see, it's worked well for me so far.

mjmchugh86 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-stupid-dr-questions-since-ive-never-done-this-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a6cdfc2-0d1e-4dc7-a2ce-87db60010016Post:fe05f8be-6369-4c19-b3d1-c5a468bd740d">Really stupid Dr. questions, since I've never done this before</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this is a stupid thing to be asking on the E board, but I need some womanly advice. Since DH and I are married, I am now covered under his health insurance, so, I'm trying to find a doctor. The only problem is...I've never been to a doctor before. Ever. I've had to go the ER for work related things, and I've been to the health department a few times for TB tests and papsmears, but I have worked for a non profit organization most of my adult life, that only offered really crappy, yet expensive insurance, and when I was a kid, my parents were crazy religious freaks that didn't believe in taking us to the doctor. So anyways, I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to tell the doctor on my first visit. Do I tell him/her about all of my issues up front? (Irregular periods, weird twitchy pain all over the left side of my body for years, suspected hormonal imbalance, since that runs in my family, and I'm sprouting hair in places a woman should never sprout hair) I'm really concerned that I'll come across as whiney, or being a hypochondriac, and/or that I'll be denied coverage if these are pre-exsiting conditions, so I'm wondering if I should be up front, or just be like "I'm just here for a tune-up", and then come later with my various worries. Also, do I look for a gynecologist, AND a primary care physician, or do they do the same thing? Do you prefer a male or a female doctor, and why? I'm really sorry, I know these are idiotic questions, but I really don't have anyone else to ask.
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]

I do not think there are any stupid questions when it comes to your health!

The first thing you need to do is to contact your insurance plan and find which doctors take your insurance. I would look for both a pcp and a gyno, as a gyno is a specialist and it sounds like you are having issues in that area. Look online, a lot of websites have reveiws of doctors that give ratings (although they do not give you the whole picture, they can be a starting point) and ask around for people to recomend doctors.

Once you find doctors that you like and are comfortable with, you want to try to track down any medical records you may have had in the past to be transfered to their office, so they can have a medical record for you. When you meet with your doctor, ask questions! Don't hold back, im sure a doctor has heard it all before, and if it is somthing that is a concern for you, they will probably want to hear it too. Most Drs that I go to give a medical history form the first time you see them - you can also write down your concerns here so you don't feel that you are ranting to the doctor.

As for pre existing conditions, I am not 100% sure but I believe that if you do not have a diagnosis - you do not have a pre existing condition. For instance if you have cancer and change insurace plans, the new insurace plan could deny you for a pre existing condition. However, if you change plans and a week later are diagnosed they will have to cover you, because you were already a part of the plan. If anyone knows differently please speak up!

Hope this helps

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

Ditto everyone else - start with finding a primary care doctor, then ask that doctor for a recommendation to a gynocologist. Even if the primary care person is willing to do basic gyno care (like pap smears) as a PP mentioned, I'd still recommend getting a separate gyno if your insurance covers it, since I think a specialist would be more likely to spot issues, and you've already identified a specific gynocological issue just in your run-down here. One other thing to add - many states maintain databases of physician licensure, where you can look up doctors and see if they've had any complaints/malpractice actions/adverse licensing actions taken against them - if your state has one, definitely check your doctor out there before making the appointment. Sometimes the nicest-seeming physicians can have serious issues in their pasts that you'd have no idea about if you didn't know to look for it.

seesawgirl · May 2012

Thank you for the advice everyone! I was so overwhelmed, I had no idea where to start!

egm900 · May 2012

When I go to a new physician, I always check to see if they put the new patient forms on a website or can email them to me. I find it's a lot easier to fill them out at home, as they can be quite extensive. I also try to get them to put in the order for bloodwork before my check up, so that the results are back before I go and the doctor can address anything that needs to be discussed during the visit instead of over the phone, or worse, through their nurse over the phone.

Loopyseven · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-stupid-dr-questions-since-ive-never-done-this-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a6cdfc2-0d1e-4dc7-a2ce-87db60010016Post:fe05f8be-6369-4c19-b3d1-c5a468bd740d">Really stupid Dr. questions, since I've never done this before</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this is a stupid thing to be asking on the E board, but I need some womanly advice. Since DH and I are married, I am now covered under his health insurance, so, I'm trying to find a doctor. The only problem is...I've never been to a doctor before. Ever. I've had to go the ER for work related things, and I've been to the health department a few times for TB tests and papsmears, but I have worked for a non profit organization most of my adult life, that only offered really crappy, yet expensive insurance, and when I was a kid, my parents were crazy religious freaks that didn't believe in taking us to the doctor. So anyways, I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to tell the doctor on my first visit. Do I tell him/her about all of my issues up front? <strong>(Irregular periods,</strong> weird twitchy pain all over the left side of my body for years, <strong>suspected hormonal imbalance</strong>, since that runs in my family, and I'm<strong> sprouting hair in places a woman should never sprout hair</strong>) I'm really concerned that I'll come across as whiney, or being a hypochondriac, and/or that I'll be denied coverage if these are pre-exsiting conditions, so I'm wondering if I should be up front, or just be like "I'm just here for a tune-up", and then come later with my various worries. Also, do I look for a gynecologist, AND a primary care physician, or do they do the same thing? Do you prefer a male or a female doctor, and why? I'm really sorry, I know these are idiotic questions, but I really don't have anyone else to ask.
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>I would start with a primary care physician for a full physical. They will take a full medical history, probably update your immunizations (tetanus, hepatitus, chicken pox if you've never had it), and probably send you to the lab for basic bloodwork/cholesterol check. They can also handle your annual Pap smear if you want them to and if you have no other reproductive symptoms/issues going on. From the symptoms you highlighted above, it sounds like you have other "female/hormonal" issues going on, so if I were you I'd probably go ahead and find a GYN to talk to about those symptoms to start with.</div><div>I have always gone to female doctors as long as I've been choosing my own doctors, until the last few months when I started seeing a reproductive specialist for testing (it worked... LOL - see ticker) and he was a male doctor. It was strictly personal preference. </div><div>I would definitely mention the symptoms you have - it will probably come up in the medical history, but if not, make sure you bring them up. </div><div>
</div><div>Good luck. Remember to be open and honest about your history. They cannot properly treat you if they don't have the whole history.</div>

chumlee7478 · May 2012

Ditto everyone else, and one other thing: don't be afraid to bring up anything. I had a friend who was embarrassed by an issue with her period, but her anxiety over the issue made her not talk to anyone, including her doctor, about it. She said she thought the doctor would think she was weird. She finally ended up bringing it up, and the doctor was more upset that she hadn't known about the issue in the first place, as it was completely treatable.

At least in my experience, doctors are not embarrassed about anything, and it's not their first time at the rodeo. I will discuss anything with my doctors, and I've yet to hear, "wow, that's awkard to talk about". I think they'd rather hear about whatever's bothering me than not know about something that could be treated.

LDYGTR13 · May 2012

My mind is BLOWN that you've never really been to a traditional doctor. BLOWN.

seesawgirl · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-stupid-dr-questions-since-ive-never-done-this-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a6cdfc2-0d1e-4dc7-a2ce-87db60010016Post:923490a7-b5e5-4379-9cbf-6ad8a5af3242">Re: Really stupid Dr. questions, since I've never done this before</a>:
[QUOTE]My mind is BLOWN that you've never really been to a traditional doctor. BLOWN.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

Yeah, its crazy. I was raised to believe that going to a doctor meant you didn't have faith in God. Obviously, I don't believe that, I just haven't been able to afford to spend, quite literally, half of my paycheck, for insurance that only covered 30% of medical bills.

pinkmonkguin · May 2012

I would start at a primary care doctor (even better if you get a recommendation). The gender of your PCP probably matters less than personality. Most offices will book you a a longer appointment for your first visit as a new patient so they can go through a complete history and physical with you - since it sounds like you have a lot of symptoms make sure you schedule it as a new patient visit and not an acute problem (which might only get you 15 minutes with a dr). When you get to your appointment and they start out with "why are you here today?" tell the doctor your expectations - that you'd like to establish care and you have a few things you're concerned about.

Even if you get papers to fill out in advance, you'll probably get asked everything again in person. If you're lucky enough to be at a teaching hospital, you might get asked by 2 or 3 different people (though students have way more time to take a complete history than the actual doctors). This is the time to fill them in on anything thats been going on. If there are things you want to make sure you mention, I would suggest writing out a list in advance of: symptoms; timing; how long they've been going on; if you've tried to treat them.

By the end of your first visit, the doctor should be able to give you a plan of attack to diagnose or treat your symptoms. Unless your PCP also does women's health, that will probably include sending you to a GYN. They'll probably also do some blood work. However, don't be surprised if they pick one or two big things to deal with first, and save more minor issues for later visits.

Good luck! And if you have any other questions feel free to PM me. I'm in medical school so I know what the doctor is supposed to be doing (at least initially), and I haven't gotten far enough into the "real world" to be disillusioned by constraints of time or insurance. I'd be happy to tell you more about what to expect or what questions they'll ask you.

Oh, and don't be shy about asking questions yourself. You're there for you, not the doctor. Anything you're concerned or curious about is fair game - from "my friends suggested I take this African tree bark extract, do you know anything about it?" to sex or period problems to "my toe hurts". If they won't answer your questions then go find someone who will.

Kristin789 · May 2012

And if you don't like your first-choice doc, you should switch.

I went to a new doc, referred to me by a woman at work. I had no health problems and just needed a basic check-up to join Weight Watchers to lose not-that-much weight.

This doc gave me an EKG in her office that cost my employer's insurance nearly $1000 - and when I asked the woman at work what that was about, she said that the doc's husband is a cardiologist, and everyone who goes to HER gets referred to HIM. What? I had the results sent to my mother's cardiologist, and there's nothing unusual at all.

The doc insisted that I buy vitamin supplement powders from her office's front desk manager, even though I had no problems with vitamin levels and would be starting a daily multi-vitamin with WW.

The doc sent me for a blood test so comprehensive that it cost my insurance company over $800 to do all the tests. Nothing was out of whack, yet she insisted I come back in 6 months to check everything again.

I go back in 6 months. I've lost the 30 pounds on WW, I'm on a daily multivitamin. She has me go for a $500 blood test, which shows nothing out of whack. Yet she's still pushing the vitamin supplement powder that she sells out of her office.

So I ask, "What vitamin powders should I get from your office, since all the vitamin levels on two blood tests have been perfect?" And she named off four or five.

I'm not going back. And if your connection turns out to be some kind of referral scam, you should switch.

hoffse · May 2012

Just to chime in briefly - I prefer female GYNs, but I don't mind men for other things that don't involve my boobs or down there. I had an eye issue several years ago, and that (guy) doctor was amazing. But I feel awkward about men I don't know seeing me naked or half naked, even in a non-sexual way. I had a breast scan done a couple of years ago, and I was extremely EXTREMELY tense because it was a dude doing it. But it's honestly each to her own.

KelaRenee · May 2012

I prefer a female GYN, but a doctor friend of mine prefers a male saying, "a lady's fingers don't belong there on me."

Really stupid Dr. questions, since I've never done this before

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