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African American Weddings

Not so Gloom and Doom

Well after nearly needing to annull my marriage today, the gray skies have brightened up.  Both figuratively and litereally.

1.  Forcast has changed to a 10% likelyhood of rain as that it seams the storm is moving faster and will arrive on Saturday not sunday.  Good for wedding, bad for running around.  I'll take it tho

2.  Nearly decapitated the hubbie today.  Why say you?  Because this fool tellls me he wants to go to visit his mom right after the reception... ummm NO.  I mean it ... NO.  We have now had 3 count them 3 wedding dates in less tahn 30 days and ALL of them can not be about your mom.  ... nah forget the period on that statement... !!!!!  exclamations.  You mom was nearing death and septic so, we cancelled the wedding.  Then, you wanted to Squeeze our marriage in, between your visits to your mom.  I understood BOTH of those things but now, MIL has been discharged and is doing much better and apparently there is no one to stay with her this weekend.  SO this dude volunteers himself on the day that is SUPPOSED to be a make up for our wedding being ruined to begin with.  No NO NO !Then he proposed going Sat night and coming back Sunday morning.. NO.. I bought that bucket of sheet the first time when u said the reason for that was that u wanted to see your mom on your wedding day... no no no. 

I sent this man a host of messages to the affect of him knowing how much this means to me and that there are 52 weekends in a year and this is the only one Im really asking for.  And I told his but that what ever he decides to do this Sunday will plant a seed in our marriage.  Whatever it is that grows from it is his responsibility.  I have been understanding, I have been patient, I have been supportive but DAMNIT I deserve a day like any other bride,  sick mom or not.  Figure it out, pay some one to stay but u be here for me on Sunday else I will take how you treat me as instruction as to how to treat you.  That when your needs and desires arrise they are an after thought to me to my family.  She is better now, there is no need for all of this.

You know this fool got the nerve to txt me : I love you babe, God willing things will get better"

I lit his butt up for that to.  I told him "THIS is not Gods will, this is your free will.  you will do what you want to do where this is concerned.  This isnt an unexpected pregnancy or loss of pregnancy, lay off or hurricane.  this is YOU making a choice"

So after a few hours I get a txt that says "what do you want to happen"  I replied "what I want to happen is to be WITH my husband ON my wedding day, for the FULL day and not have him subject to IF some1 shows up to relieve him to decide if he is showing up to our wedding day"

About an hour after thant,  I got a mssg that he will go friday night into saturday and will be around after work on saturday and sunday and monday.  So, I took off monday.

Txt back : ok.  I wish you didnt have to put me through all this crap.  You should have just known how important this was to me and known you needed to make arrangements.  Why does it have to be all that?  I love you to.  Thank you.
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Re: Not so Gloom and Doom

  • keyaira04keyaira04 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2012
    I am so sorry. Man, you have been through so much and I can understand you just want your wedding day. 

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  • Aww Mer..im so sorry you are going thru this. You and him deserve and need this day to be about you guys and not his mom ! I completely understand where you are coming from. He needs to take his mom out the equation just for a little bit and put you first ! Tell him that its ok and not selfish of him if he thinks about you guys first. Im praying for you guys and I know everything will work itself out !
    imageimage May2013 October Siggy:Honeymoon:Putna Cana http://1badwedding.weebly.com/
  • Bless your heart! I know he is going through but I hope he comes to grips with what it is that you are going through. You deserve your day and then some, I am glad you stood your ground and I pray that all goes well for you this weekend!
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  • Wow.. I understand your side. I really hope he gives you your day. Before all of this with his moms health, was he a mamas boy? Was he always rushing to her needs while putting yours aside? I really really hope you enjoy your wedding day that you have awaited for. Cant wait to hear the RCAP for I know it will be amazing.
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  • Wow...you deserve your day! I don't understand why he's doing this. Like some one asked "is he a mommas boy"? Does he always run to his mom no matter what. I hope this is not a sign of things to come. Hugs I hope his attitude changes and see why you feel the way you do.
    **I am getting married to Mr. Wonderful on 11/3/2012**
  • Smh girl, you shall have your day
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  • Absolutely..u need ur day together.. I will say..somehow...u need to come to an agreement with this matter between u and his mom and how he runs to her..I say this coming from someone that is older and have gone through The MIL issue... it caused us soo many issues in our original marriage..because we didnt communicate. I figured he would see how it was affecting me and our marriage..Bu, he didnt..Long story...COMMUNICATION....IS KEY!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_not-so-gloom-and-doom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:39dd4ac4-9f7a-4480-a5a1-70ace5323dc4Post:a98b691b-bf50-45e3-84ec-95d02356f297">Re: Not so Gloom and Doom</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow.. I understand your side. I really hope he gives you your day. Before all of this with his moms health, was he a mamas boy? <strong>Was he always rushing to her needs while putting yours aside?</strong> I really really hope you enjoy your wedding day that you have awaited for. Cant wait to hear the RCAP for I know it will be amazing.
    Posted by Toiizloved[/QUOTE]


    Nope, not at all.  Before his mom got sick,  They spoke all the time via phone but probably saw each other face to face 5-6 a year.  She was about her business and he was about his.... I was part of his business.  His rushing to her side is about the cancer. 
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  • You better lead him to the passage in the the Bible that say he is to LEAVE his parents and CLEAVE unto his wife! Umm hello. I know his mother is sickly and I get that he wants to be with her but dag. She should be just as understanding and encourage him to stay with you.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_not-so-gloom-and-doom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:39dd4ac4-9f7a-4480-a5a1-70ace5323dc4Post:a64fcb3c-96a6-41d4-a26d-970a65cbe934">Re: Not so Gloom and Doom</a>:
    [QUOTE]You better lead him to the passage in the the Bible that say he is to LEAVE his parents and CLEAVE unto his wife! Umm hello. I know his mother is sickly and I get that he wants to be with her but dag. She should be just as understanding and encourage him to stay with you.
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]



    This!!!!!
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