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Confession Thursday

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Re: Confession Thursday

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    yeah, it's gone now. thank goodness, it was like being imprisoned, in a way.
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    My old job was soooo boring and I had so much independence, that I decided to try drinking at lunch one day.  I bought a couple of little airline-size bottles of liquor and put them in my Big Gulp.

    It was totally lame, and I ended up throwing half my drink away.  Drinking at work, alone, is really overrated.
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    I agree with ac about baby stuff.  I'm scared shiitless.

    I still haven't picked out music for my kids to sing this semester.  I used to have this done in early December, but I just don't care.  I'm doing other musical stuff with them now, but my apathy is surprising even me.
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    I feel like a huge beebee admitting this, but I've been dealing with almost-crippling anxiety lately.  I want to believe it's not entirely due to wedding planning (especially since I am also waiting to hear back from grad schools, etc) but talking to my mom or FI about the wedding makes me want to curl up in bed and I have a different wedding nightmare every.single.night.  I am thisclose to going to a doctor to see if I can get some anxiety/sleeping meds but I'm having trouble admitting to myself that I am that anxious about one stupid day.
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    Daff, I know exactly what you mean. I just paid off 9k over the past four months- it's fabulous! Never ever again.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:1ca74249-dcca-4c62-a33f-e54eafffd1d5">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]also, the dog we were on the verge of adopting (was going to meet her this weekend) was adopted to someone else last night. i'm majorly upset. and ashamed that i'm upset because a sweet houndy got her forever home with people that really want her...wtf is wrong with me?
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    I think this is a normal reaction. It's great that she found a wonderful home, but you really wanted her to come live with you.

    You guys are going to find the most perfect houndy soon enough. :) (And then you will have to show lots of pics because I love pretty much every dog you have ever posted up on here.)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:1ca74249-dcca-4c62-a33f-e54eafffd1d5">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]at one point i was over $20k in credit card debt. also, the dog we were on the verge of adopting (was going to meet her this weekend) was adopted to someone else last night. i'm majorly upset. and ashamed that i'm upset because a sweet houndy got her forever home with people that really want her...wtf is wrong with me?
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    I cried in a PetSmart one time when I found out that the cat I was going to adopt had been adopted earlier that day.
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    Well, I've got about 25k in debt if it makes anyone feel better.  (more than half is student loans)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:bb1323fa-fbc1-4456-b273-af82914670fb">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confession Thursday : Brie, I generally like you.  But if you adopted a dog without knowing the breed, I'm going to side eye you a little.  If you said yes to a beagle without knowing they are kind of dumb (but very loveable), that is your own fault.
    Posted by babbles270[/QUOTE]

    I knew beagles weren't the smartest and were stubborn going in.  As a first time dog owner, I failed to realize the practical implications of this.  It's fine, he pees, he'll learn, we'll get over it.  Just because my dog isn't very bright doesn't mean I don't love him.  I'm frustrated that he's peeing all over my house; I'm not going to return him to the shelter or be an idiot about it.  The golden I wanted would have also had different problems with our setup--our house isn't big enough, et cetera.   I'm just venting.

    Also, I don't mean to be all bitchy and "who are you" but I genuinely don't remember you.  Do you lurk?  I don't remember ever interacting with you or seeing you post, which is why I'm curious about you having an opinion of me.
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    I confess that every dog my family adopted growing up we knew nothing about the breed.  Oh noes, how did people do it before studies and books and interwebz? 

    If I were to adopt again I would look into it now, but we were just a nice little family taking in dogs and cats that others didn't want anymore.  We never actually went through an agency, just went and picked the dogs up from people's homes.

    Just be consistant Brie, M-House will get there :)  Consistancy is key. 

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    kiki, certainly not all debt is the same.  I definitely don't think student loans are quite as oppressive as credit card debt. For one thing, the interest rates tend to be much, much lower. I still have student loan debt, but the interest rate is about 4%. Come to think of it, if we're considering ALL debt, I'm about half a million dollars in the hole. Thanks, mortgage!
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    I confess that I feel more overwhelmed with my life now more than ever. I thought I would better handle things once the wedding stopped consuming all my time, but the stress of getting my house ready to sell is affecting more than any stress I've ever had. I know it's a combination of job, home, kids, etc. but I'm anxious and snappy and I hate it.

    When I feel like this I can usually jump into whatever project is making me nuts and accomplish enough to straighten out my anxiety, but this time I can't even figure out which project to start on, much less finish, and I hate it. I get halfway through with making a list and then freak out because the list is so long.  I'm twitchy and jumpy and ill, and most of all pissy. I suck and I feel like a failure. Yet I won't tell anyone I need help because I'm stubborn.  
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    Yep, exaclty manda- my student loan debt is mostly subsidized, so I pay almost no interest all.
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    I confess that I really like the nickname M-House for Brie's dog. It makes him sound like a rapper or a character on Jersey Shore.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:df237b45-78c2-49e2-820b-2b4e933f5d7f">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confession Thursday : I knew beagles weren't the smartest and were stubborn going in.  As a first time dog owner, I failed to realize the practical implications of this.  It's fine, he pees, he'll learn, we'll get over it.  Just because my dog isn't very bright doesn't mean I don't love him.  I'm frustrated that he's peeing all over my house; I'm not going to return him to the shelter or be an idiot about it.  The golden I wanted would have also had different problems with our setup--our house isn't big enough, et cetera.   I'm just venting. Also, I don't mean to be all bitchy and "who are you" but I genuinely don't remember you.  Do you lurk?  I don't remember ever interacting with you or seeing you post, which is why I'm curious about you having an opinion of me.
    Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

    Just a lurker.
    I'm probably just hyper-sensitive since my beagles were killed and I am missing them.  Your dog will be fine, just give him time.  But it is frustrating, and I understand that.
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    When I feel like this I can usually jump into whatever project is making me nuts and accomplish enough to straighten out my anxiety, but this time I can't even figure out which project to start on, much less finish, and I hate it. I get halfway through with making a list and then freak out because the list is so long.  I'm twitchy and jumpy and ill, and most of all pissy. I suck and I feel like a failure. Yet I won't tell anyone I need help because I'm stubborn. 

    Bec, this is exactly how I'm feeling right now too.  I'll make a list, look at it, and just feel helpless about accomplishing anything.
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    Kati, you really should talk to someone. I'm not trying to be judgey, I'm saying this as someone whose FI has recently dealt with near-crippling anxiety.

    Based on a lot of your posts here, I don't think your anxiety is all tied to the wedding...but the added stress from it can make the stresses you're used to dealing with everyday into something new and unmanageable. I saw it happen with my FI, except it was health worries that pushed him over the edge. You should really try to set up an appointment with someone who can coach you through some stress management techniques, and help you decide whether you do need medication to take the edge off when it gets really bad. PM me if you want to talk about it.

    My confession: I've thought long and hard about quitting school lately. I'm unfocused, don't care, and can't really see an end in sight. I know it'll pass, but finding motivation has been hard. I meant to spend the last two hours writing code but have been screwing off instead.
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    Thanks mandy!  I like M-House too.  Sometimes we call him Thrillhouse.

    Also, I'm in mandy's sidecar as far as I do kind of think breed research is a little overrated beyond the basics.  All dogs are different.  I've known stupid goldens and smart shih tzus and everything in between.  Beagles are supposed to be noisy and bay and howl and ours doesn't make a peep.  We googled it and got the basics, but didn't put a ton of stock in it.  We're fine.
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    I confess that I feel really bad that Max's brother is still at the shelter. So bad that I told J if he was still there in a month of so when we got Max better trained, let's revisit the issue. There's no way we could handle two high energy dogs, though (one being deaf). He's more than enough for both of us.

    And Brie, I get it. And I've done the puppy route before. It was just over 14 years ago,and I'd forgotten how tiring it can be. Plus, having oh, 6-10 inches of snow on the ground at any given time isn't exactly conducive to letting him run outside and get out his energy.
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    babbles, I'm sorry about your beagles.  :( Is that one in your sig?  He/she is really cute.

    Also, you should participate more.  We like new blood around here, generally speaking.
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    two years!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:bd640267-8d8d-438b-bfd0-3fc08e67e652">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I confess that I feel really bad that Max's brother is still at the shelter.
    Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

    I went through this also when we adopted Grover and his brother was still at the rescue. We just couldn't take them both together because we weren't sure how Oskar was going to relate to one. Luckily a really wonderful girl I know ended up adopting him after a little while. I hope Max's brother is adopted soon!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:5293aeea-c7ca-4f0c-b9ed-77133f532d54">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]babbles, I'm sorry about your beagles.  :( Is that one in your sig?  He/she is really cute. Also, you should participate more.  We like new blood around here, generally speaking.
    Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

    Yes, that was the baby - Stewie.  The picture is about a year old, but I can't remember how to change my signature.  I have them turned off, so it doesn't make me too sad. 

    Also, the only reason I really get into researching about dogs are the fools who get dogs that are notorious for being awful with kids, then they pop out a kid and decide to give up the dog.  It's not the dog's fault.
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    Yeah, I hate those people too.   He's a good dog and I have to remind myself of all the awesome things he does sometimes--doesn't bark, isn't food or toy aggressive, is healthy, doesn't chew stuff, is good with our cats, etc.  I tend to be a little bit of a perfectionist about stuff and get a little frustrated.  He'll get it eventually.
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    two years!
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    I am so done with this job/this company/my manager. I want out but I'm scared. I was going to finalize my portfolio over the holiday break but I got really sick and spent most of the time on the couch feeling sorry for myself or sleeping. I am now trying to psych myself up for doing a ton of portfolio work this weekend and sending out my employment package to a company next week. It's really hard because I'm 90% sure they are just never going to contact me at all but if I don't try I'll feel even shittier. There are so few job openings for the positions that I want/am qualified for that to pass even one up due to apathy is ridiculous.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confession-thursday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9442dde9-8d8a-442c-abec-21c524fe8cb7Post:61619017-6bc3-49df-9ce6-70cce18bb564">Re: Confession Thursday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confession Thursday : Also, the only reason I really get into researching about dogs are the fools who get dogs that are notorious for being awful with kids, then they pop out a kid and decide to give up the dog.  It's not the dog's fault.
    Posted by babbles270[/QUOTE]

    Unfortunately, people do this with all types of dogs and they're just fucktards.
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    Daff, we're looking into adopting 2 cats. Haven't heard anything this week and I'm also nervous that someone else will get them.
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    I know this thread has taken a turn, but I thought of a confession I have that I don't tell people in real life because I come off looking really bad:

    FI has this friend (we'll call her B) from college.  She was his best and pretty much only friend for the last semester he was there.  He says they never had romantic feelings for each other.  When we first met he was telling me about her and how she was so cool and he didn't understand why she didn't have a bf because she was so naturally beautiful, blah blah blah.  They talked on the phone about once a week before he met me.  I am extremely jealous of this girl I've never met and it really bugs me when they talk on the phone (which they haven't done for about 6 months now)

    She'll be invited to our wedding and while she may not come (she still lives in OH) I'm worried that she will and I will ruin my own wedding day being petty and jealous.  I know, I know, he picked me, he's marrying me, but I know myself and I know I can be ridiculous and emotional and I'm just worried about how I'll feel on what should be the happiest day of my life.

    Sorry that was so long.  It feels good to admit it even though it's ridiculous.
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    My dad took me to lunch today to tell me that he has a girlfriend and to ask me how he should break the news to my mom (they're divorced, but are best friends). I gave him advice and am proud of him for not keeping it a secret like he usually does, but I still feel shitty because it will break my mom's heart. Yuck.
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    First of all: Weeeee!!!!!! TK is no longer blocked at work :) (let's hope that's not a glitch, and it'll stay this way).

    K, here are my confessions:

    I think my marriage is better than about 75% of the posters over on the 3rd tri board on the bump. The DH "vents" posted over there are insane. Half are because the guy is a complete fuckernut, the other half are because the girls are insecure, immature, and/or and crazy. I also don't think about half of them should even be procreating.

    I'm avoiding my family because they think their entitled to badger me about my pregnancy/baby related choices, and honestly, I'm about ready to tell them all to go to hell. (We're not talking about choices like smoking crack while pregnant, I'm talking about stuff like cloth diapering).

    I'm freaking the hell out about money. We depleted our savings during the kitchen rehab and now we've put ourselves on financial lock down until we can build it back up again. This is horrible of me, but I really wish Pete made more money, and I have to talk myself down every so often so I don't become irrational about that.

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    TR, don't be ashamed. I think it's pretty normal to feel this way, even though you know you're being ridiculou.

    I used to get jealous of DH's exes sometimes. And I'd tell him about it in a way that didn't blame him, just being totally honest about my feelings and acknowledged that they were kind of ridiculous. I think DH would have prefered to avoid the discussions, but he didn't mind talking it out with me too much, and I think a small piece of him was flattered that I struggled with possessive feelings.

    Don't worry about your wedding. I bet you & FI will be so wrapped up in each other and the commitment you're making that
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