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The controversial dollar dance!

NukkeNukke member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Retro and Vintage Weddings
I'm pretty easy going when it comes to traditions.  If dollar dances have been practiced in your family for generations, I say go for it.  It would definitely be considered a faux pas in mine, though, and I'm not comfortable with it. 

However, I was reading on some other boards about a bride who's granny went to Ireland and bought her an Irish dance bag.  I had never heard of this being specifically an Irish tradition (though giving money to the bride and groom during the reception is a tradition in a LOT of cultures).  But interestingly enough, I found a cute little "bride's pocket" online.  Made from a Irish crochet pattern, circa 1910.  Cool, eh?

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Re: The controversial dollar dance!

  • GracefulMeadow86GracefulMeadow86
    First Comment
    that bag is pretty cool! my family/circle is not into the whole dollar dance thing, but i dont tell other people its not right. in fact, FI's family (who are all from poland) are used to having one at every wedding and definitely not frowned upon. actually people look forward to it. we're just going to skip it, though.

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  • FrancesvmFrancesvm
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    You know, I never heard of anyone poo-pooing the dollar dance until I was on the boards here. I think it just depends on the dynamics of the people...My friend did it but she was also way young when she got married (21). No one thought anything of it and we actually had fun doing it :-) Now would I at 28 years old do it....not so much ;-) I love that bag though Nukke...you always find such cute stuff :0)
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  • RobotCakeRobotCake member
    First Comment
    I love the bag! It's so pretty and delicate looking. 

    I think some families keep the old traditions alive more than others.  In a very traditional wedding, the dollar dance wouldn't be out of place. I agree with Francesvm, though, I'd certainly feel silly doing it at the ripe old age of 31! 
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  • mn2italymn2italy member
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    edited April 2010
    I never heard of the dollar dance until I moved to Minnesota (I grew up on the west coast). I had heard of the bride carrying around a satchel and guests putting money into it. And when it comes down to it, it's basically the same idea - guests giving the couple money.

    ***Edit*** I just re-read my post and it doesn't sound right so I'm clarifying. Both ideas are basically the same as in guests giving the couple money. A lot of guests want to give the couple money. Whatever the tradition is for delivering the money then that's fine.
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  • hippie4yahwehhippie4yahweh
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    ehhh......... I hate the dollar dance. I think that your guests should be treated as GUESTS, which does not include charging them for anything. (Oh boy, here I go, I just have to add my 2 cents every time this one comes up... LOL)

    I've heard the lamest excuses for having them like "oh I get to spend one-on-one time with my guests!" Umm... how about get off your high horse and walk around to every guest and talk to them for a few moments?? Plus they can be soooo long and soooo boring for the guests. Ugh, I just hate them.

    HOWEVER- I would not love the experience but wouldn't frown upon it either if it was clearly a cultural tradition for the family. It's the entitled, obnoxious bebe brides doing it for no reason other than milking more money from their guests that really get to me.

    The bag, on the other hand, is gorgeous! I'd certainly prefer to see it used as a small purse rather than a dollar dance bag :-/
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  • NukkeNukke member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Yeah, I hadn't heard of the dollar dance either until I started planning the wedding with FI and he mentioned it.  I guess it's really common in his area (NE PA?).  Which makes sense cause there are lots of Polish people there. 

    Anyway, I'm not interested in having it at my wedding, but for when his sisters get married some day I won't call them tacky if they really want to do it.

    Probably most of you don't know this, also, but I used to belly dance professionally.  I taught for a few years and used to get hired for weddings, baby showers, new years parties, etc.  Every single wedding I went to (Arabic) had a "dollar dance" sort of thing.  I dance around the couple and encouraged the guests to throw money at me and the couple.  The two families would compete to see who could throw the most money.  I never kept any of it--it all got swept up at the end of the dance and given to the couple.  I always accepted this as part of their culture, and likewise, was never cool with judging other people from different cultures who have similar "money giving" traditions.  It's unfair to try to paint everyone with the same brush, and whitewash our cultural heritage.

    It's nice to see that the ladies on this board are pretty easy going.  :)  
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I totally agree with hippie4yahweh! The dollar dance seems to be redundant since most guests will be bringing gifts already. If it is a purely cultural thing, then OK. If the couple is really young and doesn't have a lot of money, I can tolerate it, but I was at a wedding recently where they did it and it was so tacky! The couple was established, had their own home, grown children, and were in their early 40s. It took FOREVER and the DJ was all "Let's help this young couple out!" Barf.
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  • future-mrsfuture-mrs member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Every wedding I've been to, has had it.  It's completely common here and my wonderful mother (lol) insists we do it but I put my foot down.  I just don't want to...we're already doing the garter/bouquet toss and I wasn't too keen on that either.  Ugh...family traditions annoy me sometimes!!!  I just feel weird about guests shelling out dollars for all this stuff at a wedding...
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  • NukkeNukke member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_retro-vintage-weddings_controversial-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:667Discussion:071d1bb2-0134-485a-989c-cda0c1f89b1bPost:4cff855a-585d-4c77-97db-ca768cb219ad">Re: The controversial dollar dance!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally agree with hippie4yahweh! The dollar dance seems to be redundant since most guests will be bringing gifts already. If it is a purely cultural thing, then OK. If the couple is really young and doesn't have a lot of money, I can tolerate it, but I was at a wedding recently where they did it and it was so tacky! The couple was established, had their own home, grown children, and were in their early 40s. It took FOREVER and the DJ was all "Let's help this young couple out!" Barf.
    Posted by graysquirrel[/QUOTE]

    Ha ha ha, I can totally see being annoyed by that!
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  • AngelzM28AngelzM28 member
    First Comment
     I agree with the other poster. Everyone attending your wedding has already spent a lot of money on wedding gifts/shower gifts/ transportation/hotel rooms and let the list go on!  Personally I think it's very tacky to ask for money (even in a 'light hearted' dollar dance sort of way). Maybe if someone is having a VERY informal wedding or it's tradition in your family. Otherwise I think it's completely out of place  at a formal wedding! Good luck! :)
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  • kat_hikat_hi
    First Comment
    I'm also from the west coast, and we'd never heard of this before i started stalking the boards.  we went to his cousin's wedding recently and her fiance was from another culture (indonesian?) where dollar dances are common.  I never bring money to a wedding because its a hassle to carry my purse, so I was surprized to see the dollar dance. They framed it as "pay a dollar to dance with the bride/groom".  There were not many takers, mostly parents/grandparents trying to help out a little finacially.

    Nothing against people who do this because its tradition, just not common over here or in my circle of friends/family.

    This will not be a tradition at our wedding, but we also not doing the garter toss or boquet toss, so I dont think people will even ask about the dollar dance.

    If people want to give money, I've seen them drop it off in the card box.  Most the weddings I've been too there has been a honeymoon donation box or a card box so that seems to be the logical place if people wanted to bring money.
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  • laurae84laurae84 member
    First Comment
    I'd actually never heard of it NOT being okay until I was raked over the coals by people on here about it.  I agree that were I in the case graysquirrel mentioned that's a bit sickening.  I was also at a dance where the couple brought in several thousand dollars doing something similar, when it's well-known that both are very well-off.  But to each their own.

    In ND it's so common I don't recall ever being at a wedding that doesn't have one, and it would be a bit odd for me not to have one.

    In my country the BM usually takes the money in his hat. I LOVE that bag, though....for a fancy little purse! Better get out my crochet hook...:)
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