Snarky Brides

Ugh, MOH issue.

I said in a confession post awhile ago that I was having some trouble with my MOH.  Well not really.  But ok--she was having money problems but didn't want me to pay for her dress.  When we were talking about styles, she mentioned really liking a dress she wore in a wedding last year.  It happened to be in one of my wedding colors.  I talked it over with her and my other maids and they all really liked the dress, and she seemed really happy about getting to wear it again.  So we went out to the same little boutique she got it from originally and found really similar dresses for my other girls.  I was pretty excited about solving the problem together.

Then I found out she decided she didn't want to wear the dress again.  Instead of talking to me about it, she SOLD THE DRESS.  What the heck??  Now I don't really know what to do.  I don't even really like the dress, but I agreed to it because they all liked it and she wouldn't have to spend more money.  Now she's refusing to wear the style, claiming she gained a little weight (can't tell) and it makes her look preg.  
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Re: Ugh, MOH issue.

  • Didn't you already post about this too?
  • I am having some very serious de ja vu right now.  Like, to the point that I'm experiencing dizziness and I might just go into shock.  Or need a Chipper.
    panther
  • She said she mentioned it in a confession thread, Any.

    I would be irritated by that to.  But uh, as usual, I have no helpful advice.  Kick her out?

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:42f11f52-6a64-45f7-b1fd-c876e0936fed">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Didn't you already post about this too?
    Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]


    This.  I am 99% sure I have read this before.  Did you not like our advice the first time?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:6b3f5998-c68a-4d43-845b-55ae8007f556">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]She said she mentioned it in a confession thread, Any. I would be irritated by that to.  But uh, as usual, I have no helpful advice.  Kick her out?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    I mean the whole thing. I've definitely read this before.
  • You should have made her sign a BM contract the day you asked her to be in your wedding.  In the end this all comes down to your neglect of such a very important aspect of weddings.

    Link to OP
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  • i think you and your MOH are either not communicating well or she's a little BSC.

    There is more to this story, maybe more than you know OP.  Talk to her.
  • Have the other girls already bought the dress? If so, I'd tell the MOH that that's the dress you're going with, bottom line. If not, then I'd probably just tell my MOH to get the dress she wanted in this color, this fabric, this style, and if she doesn't get it, then she doesn't stand up with you.

    I also think she sucks for selling the dress when everyone agreed on it.
  • Guys.

    SHE POSTED A CONFESSION ABOUT IT (see B's link).  No one gave her advice.  Now she's asking for advice (I think). 

    Jeepers.

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  • Keep the same style of dress and tell her she has to re buy it for punishment.
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  • edited December 2010
    You should just buy all the dresses, and make sure they're all the same color and size.  Then force them all to BE that same size on your wedding day.  And then no one will "look preg."

    ETA - Hey, since she sold the dress, she has cash for a new one.
    panther
  • Dammnit. I knew it sounded familiar.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:d08fc45e-9474-4072-8915-c515d36881b0">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Guys. SHE POSTED A CONFESSION ABOUT IT (see B's link).  No one gave her advice.  Now she's asking for advice (I think).  Jeepers.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Oooh. Gotcha. I just remember it a lot more clearly than I would just a random post, so I thought she'd already had advice given.
  • Yeah, I remember hearing this story long ago. Don't you have anything else interesting to post about? 
  • She kind of sounds like a PITA. I'd tell her that this is the dress you are using and to suck it up or just drop out of the wedding.
  • Ohh okay the clicky cleared it up for me.  Have you explained your frustration/situation to her?  I think you two need to talk and you need to tell her what you just told us.  I can understand why you are frustrated but she is either a bit crazy or has some serious stuff going on that she hasn't shared with you yet.
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  • Yes, I posted about it in a cofessions thread.  Confessing that I was pissed about it.  Now I'm looking for advice.  I'm sorry, I didn't realize I couldn't do that.

    Yes, Seshat, the other girls have bought the dress.  I tried to talk to her to see what was going on, and she just kept going on and on about feeling fat in it (which I don't want to feel fat, I want her to feel beautiful because she is) and really didn't have much else to say.  I feel b ad forcing her to get the same dress as the other girls if she hates it so much, but at the same time, she sorta made her bed, you know?  
  • I haven't even read the confessions thread yet, and I have seen this post before.

    I'm 99% sure this exact same thing has been posted before, either by her or somebody else.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:c9b36b63-4ba1-4aed-b625-3b27b454bfb9">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ohh okay the clicky cleared it up for me.  Have you explained your frustration/situation to her?  I think you two need to talk and you need to tell her what you just told us.  I can understand why you are frustrated but she is either a bit crazy or has some serious stuff going on that she hasn't shared with you yet.
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

    didn't i say that?  *sigh*  nobody listens to me *sigh*

    i'm gonna go wallow in self-pity with my big ol' jar of Christmas cookies.
  • I agree that it sucks that she did that.  It's weird that she would sell it after you made arrangments so that she wouldn't have to buy a dress.  I agree with PP to just leave it up to her to get another dress in the same color and style.  Maybe she's planning on using the money she made from selling the dress to get a new one that she likes better.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:139451e4-4e36-4573-9255-27608f50273c">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You should have made her sign a BM contract the day you asked her to be in your wedding</strong>.  In the end this all comes down to your neglect of such a very important aspect of weddings. Link to OP
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    Make sure she knows to get out of the contract you need a notarized signature of the President of the United States.


    Ok, not really. Just let her know that you need her to get a new dress, leave the ball in her court. She will tell you what she needs.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:952423b8-3af9-41bb-8f61-af0296b95f13">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : didn't i say that?  *sigh*  nobody listens to me *sigh* i'm gonna go wallow in self-pity with my big ol' jar of Christmas cookies.
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I listened to you, anna!  I just said that I had talked to her.</div><div>
    </div><div>Since I didn't get anywhere the last time I talked to her, any suggestions of how to go about it?  And since I know what you guys are probably going to ask--yes, we hang out and talk about not WR stuff too.  And nothing has come up there, except that she feels she looks fat.  She won't really talk about that, but it's concerning to me.

    </div>
  • It definitely sounds like something is going on there that she isn't talking to you about. I mean, if she sold the dress, she can pay for a new one, right? You really need to get her to talk to you about it, because at this point, it's not only inconveniencing you, but also your other BM's. And that sets the stage for a bunch of drama you don't need surrounding your big day.
  • You can ask for advice.  I'm just honestly surprised you haven't figured it out since the first time we heard about this it was ten or eleven days ago?  I have a very short fuse but I honestly still wouldn't be as pissed about this after a week and a half.

    So... you're shopping for dresses again.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:952423b8-3af9-41bb-8f61-af0296b95f13">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : didn't i say that?  *sigh*  nobody listens to me *sigh* i'm gonna go wallow in self-pity with my big ol' jar of Christmas cookies.
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    Sorry Anna, I don't think your post had showed up for me yet when I wrote that.

    OP: No one "said you couldn't do that" so chill.  If your MOH is truly uncomfortable I would just have her get another dress that she would be comfortable wearing.  It is actually common for the MOH to wear something a bit different from the other BMs and it would probably eliminate a lot of drama from your life.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:684e45fe-fd1b-4560-9283-6c8b68a25ba1">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree that it sucks that she did that.  It's weird that she would sell it after you made arrangments so that she wouldn't have to buy a dress.  I agree with PP to just leave it up to her to get another dress in the same color and style.  Maybe she's planning on using the money she made from selling the dress to get a new one that she likes better.
    Posted by garcias1[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This is going to sound really bratty, but I kind of don't want to let her get another dress because she's the whole reason we went with this one.  I know that's bratty and mean, but it's how I feel.  Plus, she said it's the style that she doesn't like now.

    </div>
  • Sneak into her house tonight and cut up all of her clothes. Then she'll have no choice but to wear that dress. Problem solved.
  • garcias1garcias1 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:3bbbea79-7904-4845-b1ec-a15a98ce3f95">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : I listened to you, anna!  I just said that I had talked to her. Since I didn't get anywhere the last time I talked to her, any suggestions of how to go about it?  And since I know what you guys are probably going to ask--yes, we hang out and talk about not WR stuff too.  And nothing has come up there, except that she feels she looks fat.  She won't really talk about that, but it's concerning to me.
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]

    Did the fat issue just come up all of the sudden?  Or has she always been self-conscious about her weight?  Are there any new relationships in her life that might make her feel badly about herself (like a new BF)?  There might be a bigger issue here than just a dress.  Maybe she is actually pregnant and just trying to hide it from people?  Sorry, off topic, I know, but this stands out to me if it's a new behavior for her and it coincides with another weird behavior (like selling a dress she was supposed to wear).
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:4fab1f8c-3d6a-4626-b6fa-e4b9efa0e509">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : This is going to sound really bratty, but I kind of don't want to let her get another dress because she's the whole reason we went with this one.  I know that's bratty and mean, but it's how I feel.  Plus, she said it's the style that she doesn't like now.
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]

    So, she's a drama queen pain in the ass.  That doesn't change the fact that you need to move forward and get different dresses.

    When you hit a snag in your wedding plans, you can't sit and stew about stupid things people do.  It happens.  You gotta put it past you.  Now quit complaining and get to work.
    panther
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