N00b! Hi!

anythinggold · August 2011

Yaga: Anythinggold made her BF spend part of the ring savings on getting himself a new camera for their vacation :-)

Jeter1028 · August 2011

I personally don't care what you do. Day dream all you want. I do have to say the best advice I ever got was "Enjoy your relationship as it is right NOW." Try not to focus so much on the future and enjoy your time now, before engagement. Everything only happens once (well..unless you get divorced).

The main question here is, How do you feel about cheese?

heyimbren · August 2011

You can save without comparison shopping: you don't have to look around to see what you need to come up with for a wedding. Realistically look at what you can afford, and put apart money for the future with that in mind.

Your arguments have been used here before... and they weren't validated then. Maybe that's too blunt for you, but it's the truth.

It isn't about it being "labels". And you can continue to do whatever you want (which you'll obviously do), but you simply won't find the validation for it here. I'm not saying you should leave or anything like that, but that the pre-planning (even joint) is frowned upon for good reason.

heyimbren · August 2011

JETER! And baby lemon

peekaboo2011 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:ba29e7f6-c06a-4836-9e50-b231f564afb5">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's the thing: it isn't us being rude and just going "stop planning, you suck". There really are reasons why you shouldn't start planning before you're engaged. If you're engaged without a ring- great! <strong>But your "proposed wedding date" is SO far off, that even if you were engaged there really wouldn't be much for you to plan. As some of the married and engaged girls have shared, wedding planning gets to be exhausting after a while. </strong>The main point is to focus on the PRESENT, and not the future. Regardless of whether you two are on the same page or not. There's no reason to start looking around and doing comparison shopping now. I thought the sticky made that fairly clear. If you jump in with "Hey I'm not engaged, but it's joint planning and I'm a planner anyways so it's all good!" This is exactly what you're going to end up with.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This kid. Engaged. Not doing a damn thing except sitting here twiddling my thumbs and poking around at venues (okay, I tried on some dresses for fun, but I'm engaged!) and looking at my savings account and saying "Whelp, $20 is not going to qualify a deposit on a venue..."</div><div>
</div><div>Seriously, I work in bridal. I have seen first hand what wedding planning stress does to brides. You want to know what happens to some girls? They get so stressed out and weddinged out that they start sobbing because their dress isn't pressed at a fitting, or their shoes don't fit just right, or GODDAMMNIT WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST RSVP?!?!?!?? I told a bride to drop her wedding planning and go have a drink with her friends the other night. She told me that was the best idea anyone had had for her in a while.</div><div>
</div><div>So, stop planning. You'll drive yourself crazy. And, guess what, he may not propose.</div><div>
</div><div>And Marley, yes I saw that. FI and I were "looking at stuff together" at one point. Know what happened? We had a monster blow up fight about communication (he was coming home super depressed and expecting ridiculous things from me), and we broke up. I don't think it was directly related to my BSC, but he told me later that it was part of it. Even though he wouldn't tell me that while we were "looking at stuff together."

</div>

marleylikeair · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:d04403f0-5559-4d71-9e10-f0a37fe1d6a4">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : This kid. Engaged. Not doing a damn thing except sitting here twiddling my thumbs and poking around at venues (okay, I tried on some dresses for fun, but I'm engaged!) and looking at my savings account and saying "Whelp, $20 is not going to qualify a deposit on a venue..." Seriously, I work in bridal. I have seen first hand what wedding planning stress does to brides. You want to know what happens to some girls? They get so stressed out and weddinged out that they start sobbing because their dress isn't pressed at a fitting, or their shoes don't fit just right, or GODDAMMNIT WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST RSVP?!?!?!?? I told a bride to drop her wedding planning and go have a drink with her friends the other night. She told me that was the best idea anyone had had for her in a while. So, stop planning. You'll drive yourself crazy. And, guess what, he may not propose. <strong>And Marley, yes I saw that. FI and I were "looking at stuff together" at one point. Know what happened? We had a monster blow up fight about communication (he was coming home super depressed and expecting ridiculous things from me), and we broke up. I don't think it was directly related to my BSC, but he told me later that it was part of it. Even though he wouldn't tell me that while we were "looking at stuff together."</strong>
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

Okay. I hear you, but I still disagree that them looking at things together = he will break up with her, and I still personally feel that statement was a little over the top.
Your relationship with your FI is totally different from someone else's, KWIM?

anythinggold · August 2011

heyimbren: what I'm most confused about is why they're "arguments". I'm explaining why I'm doing what I'm doing in my life with my BF and I'm not sure why the internet need to validate it.

Yaga: Haha, that's part of the reason I'm thinking about things now. That way I have time to figure out what our vision is, then leave it along for a year until we have to start working out real details. I'm sure things will change in the meantime, but that's part of the fun!

Jeter: That is really good advice. We're so in the middle of planning to [eventually] get married and planning to get a house that sometimes we have to tell each other that we're happy where we are now and we appreciate everything about our CURRENT lives. Regarding cheese, I'm pretty wimpy. I love myself a good hard cheese, but once it gets soft, I get a little bit less excited. That sounded much dirtier than I intended.

lilphillips14 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:afa33967-5a7c-4eb5-bce4-2de66c7b13b2">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : GRRRRRR Me too :( P.S. I'm glad you're back. You're funny and I like your presence on NEY. Andplusalso, sorry you're back to LDR. I know how much they suck.
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>Awwwwwwww thanks Yaga. I'm glad you think so! And yeah, it sucks, but we're getting through it! <3 </div>

peekaboo2011 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:ccbac62d-8f2c-4e20-bb5a-b256164cd7c7">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : Okay. I hear you, but I still disagree that them looking at things together = he will break up with her, and I still personally feel that statement was a little over the top. Your relationship with your FI is totally different from someone else's, KWIM?
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

<div>Yep. BSC is also over the top.</div>

marleylikeair · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:bc9b9a3b-be2a-46f3-84c7-e4a1d1885570">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : Yep. BSC is also over the top.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

In very different ways, yes. I do not believe the one warrants the other. But of course, you and I have very different posting styles... <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

anythinggold · August 2011

peekaboo: even if we were engaged, we could have a blow-up fight and break up. Whether or not I have a ring on my finger, we're in agreement (verbal, not in-my-head) that we're getting married, so the chance of it not happening is pretty equal on either side of the diamond.

peekaboo2011 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:2f01964e-1b14-4ac0-91d2-e95a56d39657">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]peekaboo: even if we were engaged, we could have a blow-up fight and break up. Whether or not I have a ring on my finger, we're in agreement (verbal, not in-my-head) that we're getting married, so the chance of it not happening is pretty equal on either side of the diamond.
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

<div>Did you even read the rest of what I wrote? Because seriously?</div><div>
</div><div>Also, if you have an agreement, then you're engaged without a ring. That's what an engagement is. An agreement to get married.</div>

Jeter1028 · August 2011

Well, your cheese comment won me over, no matter what anyone else thinks.

I was once like you though - I liked looking at "wedding stuff" and dreaming, until I came on here and got some sense knocked into me. Then I just focusing on enjoying my relationship and guess what? I was INSANELY surprised when DH finally proposed. I'm so glad I didn't continue get wrapped up in "wedding dreaming" that it ruined the proposal. You don't want to get to the point where you're EXPECTING the proposal.

Good luck

DeanneCW · August 2011

2013 is far away- no need to plan now. On top of that... no need to plan if you aren't actually engaged.

Are you in denial about something? Have you and your BF ACTUALLY talked about marriage?

My FI and I knew one another a month before we talked about marriage- I thought it was just talk UNTIL we put money down on a venue- 2 months later he presented me with a ring.

Because we had our venue picked out and money was put down on it I knew it was for real even though we weren't engaged yet. So if ya'll haven't put money down on anything an are just "talking" STOP PLANNING! run run run far away from this site!

AudgiePodge · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:d0249ee0-23bd-4767-9b0e-686a266f862e">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]2013 is far away- no need to plan now. On top of that... no need to plan if you aren't actually engaged. Are you in denial about something? Have you and your BF ACTUALLY talked about marriage? My FI and I knew one another a month before we talked about marriage- I thought it was just talk UNTIL we put money down on a venue- 2 months later he presented me with a ring. Because we had our venue picked out and money was put down on it I knew it was for real even though we weren't engaged yet<strong>. So if ya'll haven't put money down on anything an are just "talking" STOP PLANNING! run run run far away from this site!</strong>
Posted by DeanneCW[/QUOTE]

<div>This is horrible advice.</div>

Jeter1028 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:b0d88457-0e03-4be6-91d2-e864c5713cd5">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]JETER! And baby lemon <3
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

BREN! :) Baby Lemon says Hi back!

heyimbren · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:a3a73559-dd3d-46a3-bcb8-71fa897982a8">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]heyimbren: what I'm most confused about is why they're "arguments". I'm explaining why I'm doing what I'm doing in my life with my BF and I'm not sure why the internet need to validate it. Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

An argument is just whatever you use to back up your reason/opinion. I don't mean it in the "disagreement/fight" sense of the word.

I think you're misunderstanding me. ;) The Internet doesn't need to validate it; I never said it did. I said the opposite, in fact. My point was I really don't think you're going to convince anyone on here otherwise. So if you post about how you're pre-planning, you're going to get the same sort of comments like this. KWIM?

anythinggold · August 2011

Jeter: Haha, whew! 1 won over, 1000 more to go :-P

We actually had the conversation about the surprise accidentally being ruined. He let it slip that he had been looking at rings and then the surprise went downhill from there. The reason we're not considering ourselves engaged is because even though we know we're getting married, we want to salvage whatever can be left of a surprise, even if that means waiting a while until I magically forget!

Jeter1028 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:d0249ee0-23bd-4767-9b0e-686a266f862e">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]2013 is far away- no need to plan now. On top of that... no need to plan if you aren't actually engaged. Are you in denial about something? Have you and your BF ACTUALLY talked about marriage? My FI and I knew one another a month before we talked about marriage- I thought it was just talk UNTIL we put money down on a venue- 2 months later he presented me with a ring. Because we had our venue picked out and money was put down on it I knew it was for real even though we weren't engaged yet. So if ya'll haven't put money down on anything an are just "talking" STOP PLANNING! <strong>run run run far away from this site!
</strong>Posted by DeanneCW[/QUOTE]

I'm confused as to why she would have to run from this site? I believe, and correct me if I am wrong, that the name of this forum is Not Yet Engaged. Seems that's what point she's at in her life.

Just sayin.

heyimbren · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:89e9f6d2-bc3f-4822-a816-1f243d627e3a">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : BREN! :) Baby Lemon says Hi back!
Posted by Jeter1028[/QUOTE]

Aww! I just swooned a little. I can't wait for little Baby Jeter. All these NEY babies have me all excited!
How have you been feeling?

/threadjack

anythinggold · August 2011

peekaboo: Yes, I had read the rest but I feel like you haven't read most of what I've said on this (admittedly absurdly long) thread so I didn't want to get into it about me not doing any type of planning that involves stress or putting money down, just wedding-imagining (a word I wish I'd come up with 2 hours ago...).

For the same reason I'm just going to ignore DeanneCW completely.

anythinggold · August 2011

Also Jeter: Congratulations!!! heyimbren, feel free to threadjack, babies are definitely better than this :-)

Also thanks for clarifying, I think (ok, know...) I was on the defense more than I needed to be!

Jeter1028 · August 2011

And lastly, it's not about the wedding. I know, at this point that's all you can think about but....it's one day. It comes and literally FLIES by and then.....you're married. Yes, it's amazing and a day you'll never forget but the real fun is afterwards (and I don't mean the honeymoon! Well...that part is fun too). I'm talking about the whole having a life together. That's where the excitement is

............I wonder why I'm being so damn nice today? That's weird.

Jeter1028 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:6219e356-993a-471c-9c51-e09ee7920beb">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : Aww! I just swooned a little. I can't wait for little Baby Jeter. All these NEY babies have me all excited! How have you been feeling? /threadjack
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I always feel sorta bad when the thread gets jacked because of me and Peanut (Okay, maybe I don't feel THAT bad). I've been starting to feel alot better lately. We got to hear the heartbeat today for the first time. AW! Pretty darn amazing, if I do say so myself :)

anythinggold · August 2011

Jeter: glad something brought the niceness out of you -- I needed it :-)

Most of the time when we talk about it, "wedding talk" is usually just a way of reminding each other how excited we are that we know we want to start a life together (err...continue, since we live together so our everything is pretty intertwined!)

It's funny too that we want a ridiculously simple wedding. Neither of us are religious so our idea is just a ceremony and then a fancy dinner for our close friends and family. Obviously doesn't require 2 years of planning, but it's fun to dream nonetheless :-)

oceana919 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:954ad81e-fddf-4d00-9476-0dc9790f04a9">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oceana: "Are you engaged" "Yes and no...Yes I'm engaged, no he isn't". I imagine you get that a lot around here :-)
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'e7700555-49f7-496d-af96-cbb824643450', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/15/e7700555-49f7-496d-af96-cbb824643450.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

lunarsongbird · August 2011

Love jeter flavored lemon.

So....I can honestly say that I'm glad Andrew and I have stopped talking about a ton of marriage stuff, because it's going to make the proposal more special.

If we kept talking and I kept planning (yes....he wanted me to plan)- I think the proposal would have turned into a technicality- and I didn't want that.

When I announce to the world that we are engaged, I want people to be..."HOORAY! SOOOO ABSOLUTELY EXCITING!" Not..."Oh...we already thought you were engaged."

lunarsongbird · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:2b50ea56-ee0e-4353-b234-0437d1e749cf">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : I always feel sorta bad when the thread gets jacked because of me and Peanut (Okay, maybe I don't feel THAT bad). I've been starting to feel alot better lately. <strong>We got to hear the heartbeat today for the first time. </strong>AW! Pretty darn amazing, if I do say so myself :)
Posted by Jeter1028[/QUOTE]

Did you cry? :) Did DH cry?
I think I'm going to be a basket case when that time comes....I cry when I hear OTHER people's baby's heartbeats.

Jeter1028 · August 2011

OMG. OMG. I'm putting that pic in my siggy Lunar!

And strangely enough, I didn't cry. I was just kind of in shock and awe. DH got insanely excited. I cried during our first ultrasound though. I'm still in the sort of weirded out stage that there is a human being latched onto me INSIDE of me. Talk about a creeper.

Noob - Listen to Lunar - she's wise.

AudgiePodge · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:d09fec60-15de-4aec-a6a5-14b48eb911b2">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Jeter: glad something brought the niceness out of you -- I needed it :-)<strong> Most of the time when we talk about it, "wedding talk" is usually just a way of reminding each other how excited we are that we know we want to start a life together </strong>(err...continue, since we live together so our everything is pretty intertwined!) It's funny too that we want a ridiculously simple wedding. Neither of us are religious so our idea is just a ceremony and then a fancy dinner for our close friends and family. Obviously doesn't require 2 years of planning, but it's fun to dream nonetheless :-)
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

<div>What are you going to talk about after the wedding is over?</div>

N00b! Hi!

Re: N00b! Hi!

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