this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Snarky Brides
Snarky Brides
New Discussion

Dad acting strange about engagement. (Strange family situation)

dandan83dandan83 member
100 Comments
in Snarky Brides
For some background: My grandparents (dads parents) have raised me since I was 3 months old. They adopted me when I was 12. I have always had a good relationship with my dad but most of the time he seemed more like a brother than a father. (Doesn't quite describe our relationship, but that's the easiest way I can get it across here.)

Pretty much everyone we have told about our engagement is excited, they all love FI, but my dad just seems really weird about it. He honestly sounded a bit upset when I told him. When he saw us in person, there were no congratulations, or excitement, and I'm a little hurt by his actions. This is also the first time I've ever seen him try to act like a dad to me really.

What would you do? Would you try to talk to him and find out what's going on, or just let it go and see what happens?
Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
Report Reply to Post

Re: Dad acting strange about engagement. (Strange family situation)

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Are you close enough to talk to him about it?
    image
    Report Reply
  • spinner84spinner84
    100 Comments
    I don't know the reasons behind why your grandparents adopting you, but offhand, is it possible that your engagement signifies that you are "all grown up" and he competely missed being a dad to you when you could have been "Daddy's little girl?"
    Report Reply
  • dandan83dandan83 member
    100 Comments
    I would like to think so. It just seems it would be awkward since we really don't have that father/daughter dynamic, you know?
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
    Report Reply
  • dandan83dandan83 member
    100 Comments
    That does seem plausible Spinner, and it had crossed my mind. Just seems a bit late, I'll be 27 this year. lol
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dad-acting-strange-engagement-strange-family-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0141b7ac-9aaf-4481-b662-c84b91fd28e9Post:1d6b0c50-8bec-4677-aeb8-c841313cb05f">Dad acting strange about engagement. (Strange family situation)</a>:
    [QUOTE] He honestly sounded a bit upset when I told him. When he saw us in person, there were no congratulations, or excitement, and I'm a little hurt by his actions. This is also the first time I've ever seen him try to act like a dad to me really. What would you do? Would you try to talk to him and find out what's going on, or just let it go and see what happens?
    Posted by dandan83[/QUOTE]

    What was his exact response? What did he do that was acting like a dad?

    I would definitely talk to him about it. If he's really upset, I would want to know why. It might not change anything, but I'm a huge fan of talking about minor problems before they become bigger problems.
    Report Reply
  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    Maybe he expected your FI to ask him for his blessing? Or this really made him realize he's not your "dad" so he wasn't consulted and it's just really hitting home to him?


    Report Reply
  • dandan83dandan83 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dad-acting-strange-engagement-strange-family-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0141b7ac-9aaf-4481-b662-c84b91fd28e9Post:0a83c275-778b-4390-bf2a-a2ca96862b6c">Re: Dad acting strange about engagement. (Strange family situation)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Dad acting strange about engagement. (Strange family situation) : What was his exact response? What did he do that was acting like a dad? I would definitely talk to him about it. If he's really upset, I would want to know why. It might not change anything, but I'm a huge fan of talking about minor problems before they become bigger problems.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    He was like "Oh, well are you sure?" then a little farther down in the convo he said "Well, you're an adult, you can make your own decisions." It was off character for him. He's generally goofy and silly even in serious situations and that's why it struck me as him acting parental like. There wasn't even a hint of happiness in his voice.

    I will try to catch him alone and talk to him. Thanks for all your input ladies!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    GL with the conversation. I don't know about your relationship with your dad, but what he said doesn't sound like judgement to me. It just sounds like he's not excited, which could be strange too. Again, just talk to him about it. Let him know  this is a major life decision for you and that you value his opinion.

    Does he have any reason not to approve?
    Report Reply
  • dandan83dandan83 member
    100 Comments
    No, he seemed fine with FI the few times they've been at the house together. This is the first guy I've brought home that everyone in my family loves. lol He's got a job, a car, he's polite, and he waited on me being dumb for 3 years. He's got alot more going for him than the others.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Well, then it sounds like you've got nothing to worry about. :)
    Report Reply
  • dandan83dandan83 member
    100 Comments
    Thanks for the encourgement! You ladies always rock! ;)
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
    Report Reply
  • AliandDan2010AliandDan2010
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dad-acting-strange-engagement-strange-family-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0141b7ac-9aaf-4481-b662-c84b91fd28e9Post:b915ccfc-2846-4620-86a9-2fae2f3d96d0">Re: Dad acting strange about engagement. (Strange family situation)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe he expected your FI to ask him for his blessing? Or this really made him realize he's not your "dad" so he wasn't consulted and it's just really hitting home to him?
    Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

    This was my first thought after reading your post. You should talk to him.
    Report Reply
  • tommyandytommyandy member
    500 Comments
    It sounds like he was " hit with the brick of reality ".  Give him a couple of weeks to wrap his mind around the proof that you are a grown up & not a kid.  Yes, even at 27 you can be viewed as a kid by someone who saw you in diapers.  Take him to lunch & talk with him.  

    Just to make things even more weird:  Who will walk down the aisle with you?  Put some thought in to this before you talk to your father.  GL
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards