Wedding Reception Forum

Anniversary, then first dance?

As a forewarning this may be wrong so I wanted to check and see what everyone thought. I wanted to do an anniversary dance to get the older or shy couples up that otherwise would probably sit there all night. My thought was to start the dancing with this. It would start with the longest couple and go down in years adding more and more people to fill the dance floor (start at 50 or 60, then 40, 35, etc.) and we would be the last couple as the song ended, flowing straight into our first dance song and everyone else having a seat. Does it sound crazy or cute? Would it be weird if we didn't have a "gift" or anything for the longest couple? I do plan on throwing the bouquet but we could do a bottle of wine or something, or a corsage for the wife if a gift would be expected.

Re: Anniversary, then first dance?

  • I would not do an anniversary dance.  I find them exclusionary to single guests and possibly hurtful/painful for widowed guests.

    Then again, I dislike any kind of activity (except things like first dances and cake cuttings) at a wedding that excludes some guests from participating...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_anniversary-then-first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:d62cb272-9dc8-438a-a4b4-1df6ec5aeb64Post:e165d407-f3f3-4ecb-aa34-7df313cbf53d">Re: Anniversary, then first dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would not do an anniversary dance.  I find them exclusionary to single guests and possibly hurtful/painful for widowed guests. Then again, I dislike any kind of activity (except things like first dances and cake cuttings) at a wedding that excludes some guests from participating...
    Posted by brielleinlove[/QUOTE]

    This.  I don't like anniversary dances either.  If I have to spend more time at a reception sitting down than dancing when the dancing is going on, I'm not enjoying it.
  • I think anniversary dadnces are fine but as a guest I would feel uncomfortable dancing before the couple's first dance.  I was at a wedding where the Father/Bride dance was  first followed by the couples dance and it left everyone in the room with a wtf look of their faces.
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  • Thanks for the feedback! Other than having a good DJ which I think mine is, any suggestions to get people up and dancing or at least mingling? My parents don't really dance, neither do my FI's parents. Or should I just let people sit if they don't want to dance? It just sounds boring to me, and I've been bored at too many weddings where I wasn't comfortable just getting up and dancing. Maybe I'm just a lame guest but I'm fairly shy so unless I know a few people I don't feel comfortable just going for it.
  • I find that when older songs are played, the older guests will get up and dance to them!  Anything they can ballroom-dance to, they usually like :)  Play a wide variety of music and you shouldn't have a problem.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_anniversary-then-first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:d62cb272-9dc8-438a-a4b4-1df6ec5aeb64Post:e165d407-f3f3-4ecb-aa34-7df313cbf53d">Re: Anniversary, then first dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would not do an anniversary dance.  I find them exclusionary to single guests and possibly hurtful/painful for widowed guests. Then again, I dislike any kind of activity (except things like first dances and cake cuttings) at a wedding that excludes some guests from participating...
    Posted by brielleinlove[/QUOTE]
    I agree completely. I know this would really hurt my bf's grandmother who was widowed, for instance.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_anniversary-then-first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:d62cb272-9dc8-438a-a4b4-1df6ec5aeb64Post:dc5d809f-33d4-435f-abda-e88d5fc72b7c">Re: Anniversary, then first dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the feedback! Other than having a good DJ which I think mine is, any suggestions to get people up and dancing or at least mingling? My parents don't really dance, neither do my FI's parents. Or should I just let people sit if they don't want to dance? It just sounds boring to me, and I've been bored at too many weddings where I wasn't comfortable just getting up and dancing. Maybe I'm just a lame guest but I'm fairly shy so unless I know a few people I don't feel comfortable just going for it.
    Posted by lizap77[/QUOTE]
    A good Dj will know what music to play for your crowd. If people don't want to dance, there is no good way to "trick" them into it, you know? Just let them sit, it'll be fine.
    image
  • Thank you!
  • I guess I am the odd one out because I love the anniversary dance.   Usually I have seen it done where all the married couples get on the dance floor and then they start with who has been married the least and it goes down to who has been married the longest.  But I wouldn't do it before or in conjunction with your first dance. 

    I was widowed at 29 and it has never bothered me.

    Now you have given me an idea :)  I have a lot of kids coming to my wedding and it may be a way to get them off the dance floor and give us old timers a crack at it!
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  • I would feel uncomfortable dancing before the bride and groom but I do like the idea of an anniversary dance. and instead of a "gift" for the longest married couple, maybe have a special picture of you and your husband with this couple. then when you get your pictures, send that couple a copy of the picture.
  • I did it and loved it!!!! It was after our first dance but otherwise the first dance of the evening. Our guest were waiting for the salads to be served and a co-worker sung a Bryan McKnight song that was dedicated to the married couples. (Back to One) The floor was full. Weddings are about celebrating the new marriage and the beginnings of a wonderful journey as a new couple. We wanted to celebrate and acknowledge the couples around us who have been living examples of how to love, endure the storms and enjoy married life. We had couples who thanked us afterwards and others who said they had never seen that at a wedding. Our single friends enjoyed seeing the married couples enjoy themselves, a few were flirting and re-igniting their flames. It really was no different than the single ladies enjoying the bouquet toss, as the married women watched and laughed. I will say, you only have a first dance as a married couple once. Enjoy that spotlight and special moment all to yourself. There will be plenty of other songs played at the reception and a song set aside for married couples is quite acceptable. It will be over in less than 5 minutes. Perhaps you can follow that song with Beyonce's Single Ladies for all of those who felt left out. :)
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