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Difficult Times during Wedding Planning

lindsayzelezniklindsayzeleznik
First Comment
in Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh
Hi! Two months ago I was posting left and right so happily planning our wedding for next year. My mom was diagnosed with advanced metastatic pancreatic cancer in early April. It was completely unexpected. She went from being perfectly healthy to now barely being able to do much of anything. She doesn't want the wedding moved up at all, but I want her involved in planning as much as she can be. My mom, sister and I planned months ago to take off next Wednesday to work on getting Heinz Chapel for the ceremony and we were planning on dress shopping too. Well, Tuesday is her chemo treatment day and I'm afraid she won't even be up for it. I also scheduled a family photo session with our wedding photographer for this Sunday - I thought it would be really fun and good to have new pictures - but I don't know if she'll be up for that either.

One of my best friends lost her dad suddenly 6 months before her wedding a few years ago and last year FI's good friend lost her father suddenly as well just 3 months before the wedding. I couldn't imagine such a loss at the time - and though I hope my mom will be at the wedding and be healthy to enjoy it - I am now living what I thought would be unbearable.

Anyways - I miss posting and planning but maybe just talking about this will help a little. And I want to say to everyone who has experienced loss during this joyous time, I'm so sorry. Any words of advice or encouragement or experience getting through something like this would be greatly appreciated. Hope this isn't too overwhelming of a post.
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Re: Difficult Times during Wedding Planning

  • dbpsu18dbpsu18 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Lindsay - i'm so very sorry to hear about your mom - but thank you for sharing with us! I have not had the experience you are going through or that you mentioned others have gone through but I think i'd do exactly what you are doing.. trying to keep your mom as involved as she can be.

    Lots of thoughts and prayers sent your way xo

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  • pantherRNpantherRN member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mom :( I have no idea what you guys are going through. Try to stay positive and you know we are here for you. Also, YGPM in five minutes.
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  • gmc22gmc22 member
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    edited December 2011
    Oh my goodness lindsay - I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. I honestly don't even know what to say right now - just please know that you and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    I too have not gone through this, but I agree with db in saying I would hope that I would proceed just as you are - trying to keep your mother involved as much as possible. Once again, I am terribly sorry to hear this news and please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Please let us know if there is anything else we can do - even if it's just to vent to us - we are all here for you! xoxo

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  • pantherRNpantherRN member
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    edited December 2011
    Ok, I lied. No PM because they aren't working for me. I emailed you instead!
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  • sarilynnepsarilynnep
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    edited December 2011
    Oh my goodness Lindsey... I am so so sorry... First off, no, this is not too overwhelming of a post. This is what this board is for- to connect with people and share not just wedding ideas, but troubles and issues as well if you need to. We may just be online, but we all really do care and our hearts go out to you right now. If you need to just get on here and vent and talk, we are here to listen.

    And I agree with everyone else- By trying to keep your mom involved she will feel involved. Yes, she may not be able to do as much as she would have liked, and that is really heartbreaking for you, but I bet she will feel better knowing that you are keeping her as involved as possible. It may not feel like it right now, but you are handling this really well just by being there for her.

    Again, I am sorry this is happening. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom and family. And yes, if we can do anything, please don't hesitate to ask.
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  • cgyvhucgyvhu member
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    edited December 2011
    saw this while lurking from hong kong, and I had to sign in to wish you vibes and tell you I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.  We're all here for you if you need to talk and vent at any time.
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  • MRadsMRads member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Lindsay, so sorry you are going through this.  We're here for you.
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  • nicole098nicole098
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear this news, Lindsay.  How heart-breaking.

    Sending you an email...

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  • kristenrmu22kristenrmu22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow OP you have me crying in my office. I couldn't imagine what you and others are going through. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. 

    I have not gone through anything like this...but I would imagine your mom wants you to be super happy and enjoy this as much as possible. Try to do that for her during all of this. It may help her through her rough times. 
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  • carlyanne05carlyanne05
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Lindsay, I am so very sorry to hear this. I can't even begin to imagine what you may be feeling but just the thought of it brings up a lot of emotions. I will certainly be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. We're all here for you.
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  • lindsayzelezniklindsayzeleznik
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much everyone. It was nice to hear all of the positive thoughts after a long day with my mom getting her treatment. I think I feel better to have shared this - it felt strange posting before like nothing had changed when so much in my life had changed. Thanks Again - I'll be talking with you girls soon!
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  • SgtK9GFSgtK9GF
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    edited December 2011
    OP I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what it's like to be going thru what you're going thru. I wish noone had to go thru stuff like this. I just wanted to let you know my and my family's T&Ps are with you. Stay strong! XOXO
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  • hj1479hj1479
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    edited December 2011

    I couldn't imagine going through something like this right now...definitely keeping you, your mom, and the rest of your family in our thoughts and prayers. 

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  • ginny814ginny814
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're all thinking of you and please know that we're here for you, no matter what part of the country we're in!  You and your family are in my thoughts.  xoxox.
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  • milichalmilichal
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thoughts, prayers and hugs.  I understand how you are feeling (to an extent).  My mom was diagnosed w/ hodgekins lymphoma when I was twelve.  It's scary not knowing...You and your family are in my prayers. 
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