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How to polietly say no children allowed

mrsdoug2bemrsdoug2be
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My fiance and I want an all-grown up wedding. It is very formal and at night. No dinner just drinks, dancing and desserts. We only have a handful of people on our list who have children and they will be either still under a year old or just born. We don't wish to have children at our ceremony or reception. How can we polietly put this on our invitations. Does it go on the invite or on the RSVP card?
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Re: How to polietly say no children allowed

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    You don't put this on the invitation at all.  You address the invitation to only those you wish to invite.  Never indicate on the invitation or in its contents those you want to exclude.

    If you want to take it a step further, personalize your response cards writing out the name of each invited guest so they just check __accepts or __declines to indicate that they're attending.

    Be prepared that some guests may decline or be sad but that's part of life when you have kids. 
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  • MiksChick23MiksChick23 member
    First Comment
    If you do not list children's names or "& family" on the invites, it should be understood that they are not invited. I have seen brides put "we have reserved X seats in your honor" at the bottom of their RSVP card, but I do not think even that is necessary. If you invite Tom & Jane to the wedding and they RSVP with 3 to include their small child, then you call them up and politely tell them, "I'm sorry, but we are not inviting children to the event. We still hope you can make it, but understand if this changes things." You may have to be prepared for people to turn down your invitation if they can't bring their kids, but it is entirely up to you if you want them there.

    If you are not inviting kids, make sure you have a general rule set up (for example, you can't invite Cousin Sherry's daughter but not Cousin Fred's.) At our wedding, we only included children of FAMILY on the invitations. And if a friend replies with theirs, we will explain just that.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-polietly-say-no-children-allowed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:e1ddd197-24b3-4047-a343-9f87e58a689fPost:6c8f90b3-a081-4447-8a34-40321bde7731">Re: How to polietly say no children allowed</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you do not list children's names or "& family" on the invites, it should be understood that they are not invited. I have seen brides put "we have reserved X seats in your honor" at the bottom of their RSVP card, but I do not think even that is necessary. If you invite Tom & Jane to the wedding and they RSVP with 3 to include their small child, then you call them up and politely tell them, "I'm sorry, but we are not inviting children to the event. We still hope you can make it, but understand if this changes things." You may have to be prepared for people to turn down your invitation if they can't bring their kids, but it is entirely up to you if you want them there. If you are not inviting kids, make sure you have a general rule set up (for example, you can't invite Cousin Sherry's daughter but not Cousin Fred's.) At our wedding, we only included children of FAMILY on the invitations. And if a friend replies with theirs, we will explain just that.
    Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

    1) You should never address an invitation to 'and family'.  They should be addressed to all adults by name.

    2) You can invite some children and not others.  However you are correct that a cleaner cutoff helps avoid hard feelings.
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  • ShlemilyShlemily
    First Comment
    Mrsdoug2be- I'm in the same boat. I understand what the others are saying about people not bringing their children since their names aren't on the invite, BUT not everyone is planning a wedding and understands the do's and dont's of wedding ettiquette. As brides,we are planning and researching a wedding 24/7, not our guests. Do what you think is right, there are so many details, sticky situations and and tough decisions, but in the end it's about you and your husband to be. Oh, and I'm also going against proper ettiquette and probably adding where I'm registered somewhere in my wedding invitation.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I knew proper etiquette long before I came to TK. And putting where you're registered on your invitations is incredibly poor form.
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  • kleslaterkleslater member
    First Comment
    We wrote on the invites exactly who was invited, and we only got one call asking if children were invited.
    I simply explained that the only "children" that would be in attendance were those that were included in our weddiing party. No one complained. Most parents are excited for a night out among adults, so they gladly find a sitter.
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  • alanie1alanie1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    We placed information on our website that stated our reception was an adult affair(21 and over).  Was this in poor taste?
    gggg
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