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I can't make my mom part of the wedding party!

hkt.aahkt.aa
in Moms and Maids
So my fiance has 2 groomsmen and I have 2 bridesmaids (all of which are our age). Originally, I really wanted my mom to be a bridesmaid (or matron?) because we're close, but my fiance absolutely REFUSES. He doesn't want our party to be unbalanced (I don't care) and he thinks it would be weird to have my mom dressed similarly to my bridesmaids when we do group pictures. Though, even if I put her in a different dress, I doubt he'd be happy. Anyway, I want another way to include my mom. We're close in general and she's helped me a ton with planning this wedding. I feel like my dad gets his moment when he walks me down the aisle, but my mom (who I'm closer to) gets nothing. I don't think my dad should have to share him moment. Further, his mom doesn't exactly like me, so we really shouldn't do something to include both moms. I have no idea what to do!
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Re: I can't make my mom part of the wedding party!

  • FluffernutFluffernut
    First Comment

    I'm having both my parents walk me down the aisle, but it sounds like maybe you don't want to do that.

    If you are doing a unity candle, the mothers often will light the individual candles before the ceremony.

    You could have your mom do a reading, sing, etc.

    However, it's up to you who you have on your side, and I don't feel it's right that your FI is not supportive of that.  It might be different and more unique to have your mom stand up for you, but I think it's a lovely gesture.  I'd be upset if my FI tried to dictate who could and could not stand up for me.

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    Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you want your Mom to stand up with you then you have every right to ask her.  Like PP said, your FI does not have any right to dictate your bridal party.  You pick yours, he picks his.

    I think having your Mom stand up with you is a wonderful idea and I am sure she will be very touched.

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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Your FI is WAY out of line.  It is extremely shallow to be more concerned about appearance and what HE wants rather than how important this is to you, not to mention how this would make your mom feel.

    He has no right to be doing this.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Is your fi controlling in other ways?
    You pick your wedding party; he picks his.
                       
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_i-cant-make-my-mom-part-of-the-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a135b2f2-0902-478f-b204-755414e5af60Post:ff80bb66-4baa-4cd4-979c-c584f4a75b13">I can't make my mom part of the wedding party!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my fiance has 2 groomsmen and I have 2 bridesmaids (all of which are our age). Originally, I really wanted my mom to be a bridesmaid (or matron?) because we're close, but my fiance absolutely REFUSES. He doesn't want our party to be unbalanced (I don't care) and he thinks it would be weird to have my mom dressed similarly to my bridesmaids when we do group pictures. Though, even if I put her in a different dress, I doubt he'd be happy. Anyway, I want another way to include my mom. We're close in general and she's helped me a ton with planning this wedding. I feel like my dad gets his moment when he walks me down the aisle, but my mom (who I'm closer to) gets nothing. I don't think my dad should have to share him moment. Further, his mom doesn't exactly like me, so we really shouldn't do something to include both moms. I have no idea what to do!
    Posted by hkt.aa[/QUOTE]

    I just want to say that being Mother of the Bride was a huge honor, and I didn not want or need anything else.  I wouldn't have traded it for the world. That's me down there...feelin' special and honored!

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/6/bf834a85-3c29-4e96-b677-f7c9b3187267.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/6/bf834a85-3c29-4e96-b677-f7c9b3187267.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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