Wedding Party

Re: whatever

  • If you aren't sure and don't want to pick just one, just have them all be bridesmaids. It's all the same really. It's completely okay to not have a maid of honor.
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Well, there aren't any "jobs" or major requirements for a MOH (or any BM) up until the RD and Wedding Day.  So as for this girl not being able to help you, she doesn't have to.  It would be nice if she threw a shower or a bach party for you, but those aren't things you have to have. 

    If she is the one you are closest to and the one you've been friends with the longest, she may be your answer.  If not, you don't have to have a MOH, you can just have BMs. 
    dont make ur password so easy. gbck2CA2 hahahaha
  • lizstill13lizstill13 member
    First Comment
    edited May 2010
    You don't have to have an MOH. And if you feel one friend really "deserves" the spot, don't not ask her because she won't have time to do, what? Put on a dress and stand next to you? None of your BMs are required to help you with anything. They can volunteer and you can ask politely if/when you need help, but they don't have if they don't have the time/money/inclination.
  • You don't need a MOH, if you don't feel anyone fits into this honor.  Also, a MOH/BM doesn't have to help with things, so if this is the only reason your not asking your longest friend, ask her.  She only has to get a dress and show up.
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker

    MOH is supposed to be your closest friend. And Maids of Honor are not required to help you ... most of them usually help out because MOH is your closest friend, and that's what your closest friend typically does ... she offers to help out if she's available. Not because she has to because she's MOH. Because that's what a friend does.

    If someone feels like volunteering to help you, she'll volunteer, whether she's MOH or a regular bridesmaid or someone who's not even in your wedding. If someone doesn't feel like offering you her help, she won't do it even if you name her the MOH. A meaningless title in a one-day party does not make a person change their ways. As far as the shower and bachelorette go, you are not owed them ... someone will throw them for you if they want to. If you get them, awesome. If not, oh well. You can't ask for them or assign someone to throw them. And don't name a random person MOH just in the hopes that she'll throw you a party.

    How would you feel if someone said to you, "You're my absolute best friend, but I'm not asking you to be MOH because you're not going to be available to help me with wedding plans"? Pretty shiity, right? So if she is truly your closest friend, not asking her to be MOH because she can't devote enough attention to your wedding is a crummy thing to do.

    However. It sounds like she's not your closest friend, just the most long-term friend. If you cannot definitively say, "X is my closest friend," then it's absolutely fine to not name anyone the MOH. Heck, it's fine to not even have any bridesmaids (even if your FI has groomsmen, because the sides don't need to be even). And if you have brothers or male friends that you're close to, it's also fine to have them as your attendants - if your closest friend is a guy, it's fine to have a Man of Honor.

    But it's fine not to have a MOH. Tell them all you love them equally and don't want to pick between them. You can decide at the rehearsal who'll hold the bouquet or sign the license or whatever.

  • If your bio is correct, your wedding is over 2 years away.  Come back and ask the same question in 18 months.  You may have a clearer picture then. 

    Relationship grow and change, and the people that you're absolutely, completely, 100% positive you want in your wedding may not even be on your radar screen in 18 months.

    And there's nothing for a WP to do now anyway.  There's no reason to choose now and a hundred reasons not to make this decision already.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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