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April 2011 Weddings

MIL advice

Hey ladies,

 Sorry if this has been asked before. I've been trying to catch up on all of the posts I've missed, I haven't seen anything about this yet though.

 I've been trying to form a better relationship with my MIL. Not that we have a bad one - we just aren't particularly close. She lives out of state and is "old school" - doesn't use the computer or a cell phone, so a lot of our communicating is done through DH. This makes me feel guilty sometimes.

 I guess my question is - how is your relationship with your MIL? Any advice on strengthening the bond?
TTC since January 2011

February 2012: 1st RE Appt.

HSG, B/W, & SA: All normal

September 2012: Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked left tube, Damaged right tube.

Next step: IVF #1. Started BCP 1/16/13!


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Re: MIL advice

  • Since you mentioned that she's old school, maybe you should send her a "thinking of you" or "hey there" kind of card.  Mind you, if you don't think it's too creepy.  My family is big on sending cards, and I will occassionally send one to my MIL just because.  I see it as a way to let her know that you do care, and you are opening the opportunity for more bonding.  Maybe you'll get a hand written letter or something, and y'all can turn it into a pen-pal thing?

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  • My MIL lives in Africa...so any communication between us is usually done online. But we have very little in common so we don't have much of a relationship. I get along a lot better with my FIL (similar interests, communication styles, sense of humor, etc). We definitely get along just fine, but I can't see us ever having a real mother-daughter type bond. 

    I agree with Laura - try the old school approach if she's an old school MIL. A card would be a great way to start!
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  • Great idea! I hadn't thought of that. I will pick up a "thinking of you" card tonight. Thanks ladies :)
    TTC since January 2011

    February 2012: 1st RE Appt.

    HSG, B/W, & SA: All normal

    September 2012: Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked left tube, Damaged right tube.

    Next step: IVF #1. Started BCP 1/16/13!


    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/rigcd3.jpg[/IMG]
  • I get along really well with my MIL. She totally has the same sense of humor and likes to drink, so she's usually lots of fun when we go out to dinner. Shes sooo not old school! Several of my good friends are around her age (45-ish) though, so I tend to view her as a friend and less of a parent-figure. I agree with the card and if you live nearby maybe having lunch together some day. Maybe ask her opinion on something that you would ask our own mom. Good luck!
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  • Oh I just re-read your post and see she's out of state. Well then definitely the card!
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  • I agree with everyone on sending a card to her and maybe when your DH talks to her on the phone you can pop on and give a quick "Hi how ya doing?". I'm sure your MIL would love to hear what is going on with you two from your point of view because it is another side of the story instead of just from her son. :)

    My MIL is pretty awesome, we have the same tastes and we actually get along better than my actual mom and I do. We send each other e-mails every once in a while to keep in touch and will sometimes talk on the phone when they call to check in with us.
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  • My ILs like 20 minutes away from us (my folks are like 4.5 hours).  I get along with them great - we actually met for dinner at Maggiano's for dinner last night (yummy eggplant parmesan leftovers for lunch today!).

    I agree with the others - a cardis a good way to start and pop on the phone for a couple minutes then she talks to your DH.
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  • I love my MIL so much! We get along pretty well, even though H's parents are much older than mine and much more old fashioned. I sent her a little valentine card in the mail and she called my H and said "Did you know what your wife did!? I cried all the way up the driveway from the mailbox to the house!"  She loved it and still has it on her fridge. Send a card, it will probably go a long way with her!

    If you guys get a chance to visit ILs anytime soon, make sure you get some one-on-one time with your MIL. It will mean a lot to your H if he has any kind of a soft spot in his heart for mama. Plus, you can get some good stories about him growing up, it's super sweet.


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