Thank you photo

dainamariekennedy · December 2010

I know this issue has been talked about in the past so this may simply be a rant but I think it needs to be said.

Back in early June I went to a wedding with my fiance for one of his friends. Although we didn't buy off the registery, we put a lot of thought into their gift and spent about $100 (my FH is still in school, but they are good friends of his).

Fast forward to mid December when we finally got our thank you card. It was a pre printed photo with a short universal thank you on it. It took them over 6 months and our names weren't even on the thing!

I don't know about anyone else out there, but I found this really offening! It's like they had no clue what we got them and someone else had complained that they hadn't sent or even said any thank you's. I realise that some people are really busy but the photos were dated June 5. In 6 months they could have at least written our names!

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-photo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0cf17cec-91f4-4942-89f8-d7cd510c4a3fPost:6567e8e3-5af9-4d8c-9be2-241a77ac60f7">Thank you photo</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this issue has been talked about in the past so this may simply be a rant but I think it needs to be said. Back in early June I went to a wedding with my fiance for one of his friends. Although we didn't buy off the registery, we put a lot of thought into their gift and spent about $100 (my FH is still in school, but they are good friends of his). Fast forward to mid December when we finally got our thank you card. It was a pre printed photo with a short universal thank you on it. It took them over 6 months and our names weren't even on the thing! I don't know about anyone else out there, but I found this really offening! It's like they had no clue what we got them and someone else had complained that they hadn't sent or even said any thank you's. I realise that some people are really busy but the photos were dated June 5. In 6 months they could have at least written our names!
Posted by dainamariekennedy[/QUOTE]
Is there a question you need answered?

ETA: It is very rude to withhold a TY for the sake of AWing wedding pics, you are right.

garcias1 · December 2010

You're right to be upset. You took the time to pick out a thoughtful gift, and they didn't take the time to write a thoughtful thank you. That's a bummer.

saisongbird · December 2010

I personally hate this trend of the photo thank you cards - it's nearly impossible to get them printed and have the thank you notes written in a reasonable time frame. Just know that it probably wasn't just a slight to you - there's a very good chance that everyone received the same generic thing and she's not a very thoughtful person.

Summer2011Bride · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-photo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0cf17cec-91f4-4942-89f8-d7cd510c4a3fPost:6567e8e3-5af9-4d8c-9be2-241a77ac60f7">Thank you photo</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this issue has been talked about in the past so this may simply be a rant but I think it needs to be said. Back in early June I went to a wedding with my fiance for one of his friends. Although we didn't buy off the registery, we put a lot of thought into their gift and spent about $100 (my FH is still in school, but they are good friends of his). Fast forward to mid December when we finally got our thank you card. <strong>It was a pre printed photo with a short universal thank you on it. It took them over 6 months and our names weren't even on the thing!</strong> I don't know about anyone else out there, but I found this really offening! It's like they had no clue what we got them and someone else had complained that they hadn't sent or even said any thank you's. I realise that some people are really busy but the photos were dated June 5. In 6 months they could have at least written our names!
Posted by dainamariekennedy[/QUOTE]

We've gotten one of those before too. We've also attended TWO weddings where we NEVER received TY's and one where it took well over a year to get them.

It's unfortunate that many people don't follow proper etiquette--heck, it shouldn't even take an etiquette queen to know you need to thank people in a personal way and in a timely manner. But I digress.

Simply Fated · December 2010

I really hope this trend dies out fast.

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

Simply - I hope so, too but I doubt it will. It's been going on for a long time. I remember getting a TY photo card about 12 years ago.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

I don't like the photo cards much either. I suppose they would be okay if people took the time to write a personalized message, but that usually isn't the case.

I think you have a right to be upset, but at the same time, there isn't much you can do about it besides move on.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

I've realized people tend to make up their own etiquette to fit their own desires when it comes to TY notes. I've seen people say you have a year to send them, or 6 months to send them, or 3 months to send them, or that "it must be outdated to expect people to get them out in 2 months because I need to wait to get my pictures back before I order TY notes and that will take more than 2 months." Some people... just don't know. I got married in October, so this has been a big thing on my club board - almost all of us have been married for 2 months, and we've been discussing whether or not our TYs are out.

Just do better at your own wedding! In the last 2 years I've been to 3 weddings and got a timely TY note (within 2 months) from one. One never sent a TY and one sent a TY 6-7 months after the fact. We had our TY notes done within 3 weeks of our wedding - including to both of those offending couples. Just be the bigger person and when your time comes, you'll realize how it feels to be treated with less than proper etiquette.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-photo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0cf17cec-91f4-4942-89f8-d7cd510c4a3fPost:98805ef3-b9c7-41bd-bfc6-37fdf89a6152">Re: Thank you photo</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally hate this trend of the photo thank you cards -<strong> it's nearly impossible to get them printed and have the thank you notes written in a reasonable time frame.</strong> Just know that it probably wasn't just a slight to you - there's a very good chance that everyone received the same generic thing and she's not a very thoughtful person.
Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]

<div>I know! And there are so many other options. You can use a "regular" thank you from Michaels or Target, order TYs that go with the rest of your wedding stationery (which is what I did), use an engagement pic and get them ordered before the wedding, have a friend take a picture on your wedding day so you can order the notes ASAP, have your photographer give you a certain picture in a preview so you can order them ASAP... there's no need to wait 1-3 months for pictures JUST for TY notes. </div><div>
</div><div>The worst is when people don't send TYs for gifts they get before the wedding because they want to use their photo cards. So those TYs are even later than the normal.</div>

lilcassers · December 2010

My friend did this for her wedding thank you's and she IS a very thoughtful person. She had 300 guests at her wedding and I just assumed it is because it would be a lot of work to write of thank you's to all of those guests. Granted, she is the one who invited all of those guests though. However, like her picture card and it is a cool keepsake that is still on my fridge.

I will not be doing these because of the thoughts that most people do have about these (being impersonale). I would not take too much oddense to it though. Some people don't worry about every persons feelings and what they would think about it.

MissLeahM · December 2010

My friends are going to have to do this, they for their honeymoon right after the wedding so they hadn't sorted out the cards that contained money yet, but on their honeymoon they had an emergency. So their parents took the money and wired it to them. They feel awful about sending generic thank you's, but its better than nothing.

Beachy730 · December 2010

We did photo TY cards, but we got our CD of images from our photog the Thursday after our Friday night wedding. We loaded them on Shutterfly that weekend and ordered our TY cards a week and a day after our wedding. We had them all written out and mailed within 4 weeks, and we had 195 people at our wedding. It's not impossible, people are just ridiculous. If our photog took longer we would have done different cards, or used a photo that a friend took.

NOLAbridealmost · December 2010

Well, just curious, what IS the appropriate timeline? If you're not supposed to open gifts until the wedding (just learned that, actually), then wouldn't you necessarily have to take longer on gifts sent beforehand lest the wedding not happen?

I mean would 2 months be acceptable in most cases?

Beachy730 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-photo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0cf17cec-91f4-4942-89f8-d7cd510c4a3fPost:1b0276af-18dd-4e55-8077-e4a163e62cd9">Re: Thank you photo</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, just curious, what IS the appropriate timeline? If you're not supposed to open gifts until the wedding (just learned that, actually), then wouldn't you necessarily have to take longer on gifts sent beforehand lest the wedding not happen? I mean would 2 months be acceptable in most cases?
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

You are supposed to open gifts received before the wedding as you get them, and write the TY note within a week or two. You aren't supposed to USE the gift until after the wedding. If it is a check you should deposit it so that it doesn't screw up the person's account, but don't spend it.

All TY notes should go at within 2 months of the wedding at the latest.

saisongbird · December 2010

If I'm not mistaken, etiquette dictates that for gifts received before the wedding, you have 2 weeks to send a thank you note, and for gifts received at or after the wedding, you have one month.

DramaGeek · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-photo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0cf17cec-91f4-4942-89f8-d7cd510c4a3fPost:922187ef-573b-4ca0-80c0-1367c3103576">Re: Thank you photo</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend did this for her wedding thank you's and she IS a very thoughtful person. <strong>She had 300 guests at her wedding and I just assumed it is because it would be a lot of work to write of thank you's to all of those guests.</strong> Granted, she is the one who invited all of those guests though. However, like her picture card and it is a cool keepsake that is still on my fridge. I will not be doing these because of the thoughts that most people do have about these (being impersonale). I would not take too much oddense to it though. Some people don't worry about every persons feelings and what they would think about it.
Posted by lilcassers[/QUOTE]

That's a BS excuse. We invited 485, had 330 attend, and I had all TYs sent within a week of receiving a gift pre-wedding and within a month after the wedding. Did I mention I was in college at the time?

I also don't understand what's taking so long with these photo cards. They were all the rage when I got married 8 years ago, and people had their cards in a week or two after their wedding. Why is it taking so long for people to get them now?

Thank you photo

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