Thoughts about a Dollar Dance?

ramisenh · June 2012

We met with our DJ today to finalize some details and they asked about doing a dollar dance. I'm not sure how I feel about doing it. FI family does them at wedding and our friends up here will know about them but I don't know if my family will be familiar with it.

Are you doing a Dollar Dance? Either way, share your thoughts because both FI and I are on the fence.

Nancy00714 · June 2012

I'm not against them when I see them. They have nothing to do with my culture so I wouldn't do it. I feel like if it has to do with where you come from or it's common in your culture then do it. If there are people that aren't familiar with it don't drag the song out and make sure that they don't get pulled into it to participate or people feel obligated to give money.

I recently learned that in the italian culture (my seamstress told me this, I haven't seen it done) someone cuts off the groom's tie and they sell it off in pieces.

klwpaz · June 2012

I have been to many weddings that had dollar dances. Personally, I don't like them that much. I love the idea of dancing with our guests (and I know many of our family members enjoy this), but I hate the idea of asking for money. FI and I are considering something like a "best wishes" dance... Where we dance with any guests who would like to, and we talked about maybe having cute "advice for the couple" cards that people could fill out, but no final decision yet. Either way, we will definitely not be collecting money.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

They are often viewed as rude and tacky. I would advise against it.

Amanda1443994 · June 2012

To those that are not familiar with dollar dances, it may come off as rude asking for money. However, as long as it's part of your culture or family/friend traditions, then I do not see a problem with it at all. Personally, I am not doing one because it is not part of my family's traditions and I have never seen it done before. In the future, if I saw one done at a wedding, I honestly wouldn't have any negativity toward it though. I'm not really that uptight that I'd see it as rude.

MeaganR12 · June 2012

No way.

I'm in almost the same boat as you are. My FI's family does them and some of 'our group' who are filipino do them but my family would die if we did one so we're not going to do it. I feel so uncomfortable at weddings where they have dollar dances. I hate them.

Nati05 · June 2012

I feel like it's one of those traditions that should never be "introduced" at a wedding. If everyone at the wedding is familiar with it and it would be unheard of to not have one, then go ahead if you'd like. But if you have a considerable number of people who have no clue what it's about, could end up being confused or offended... then skip it. It's not like the usual cultural/ family traditions that you want to share with people at weddings... dollar dances are a tradition that has lots of opinions about it. Since we're talking about a large portion of the guest list, being your family, that is not familiar with this, it's probably best to skip the dollar dance. Good luck!

BmoreBride311 · June 2012

I still have never seen a freaking dollar dance and I'm actually really curious about them. Just hearing them described on TK from other girls, I just picture them being really awkward. I think if ~half your guests won't know what's going on, it would be even more likely to be awkward. But that said, since I've never seen one done I really have no business commenting on them!

Nati05 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_thoughts-about-a-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:edcf41d7-ae0e-4d1a-a8e3-d2197d3c5cc9Post:0a881264-164b-4908-90ed-7289bf2c5422">Re: Thoughts about a Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]I still have never seen a freaking dollar dance and I'm actually really curious about them. Just hearing them described on TK from other girls, I just picture them being really awkward. I think if ~half your guests won't know what's going on, it would be even more likely to be awkward. But that said, since I've never seen one done I really have no business commenting on them!
Posted by BmoreBride311[/QUOTE]

lol me neither... gotta find us a video or something!

timsflower81 · June 2012

I had one at my first wedding because my mother INSISTED. It was so awkward.....and my dads friends all wanted to dance with me and they were all sweaty and old. It was awful.

I did actually get a lot of money from it though - like 1000...

littlemoments324 · June 2012

I remember when I was kid at all of my family weddings there was always a dollar dance...but the past few weddings in my family haven't had a dollar dance...they're kinda ehh now-a-days...

I remember my 1st cousin's wedding about 15ish years ago...There were carts that had liquor shots on them..if you wanted a shot you gave a dollar & you danced with the Bride or the Groom...whomever you wanted to...Obviously I couldn't have a shot, nor could the other kids, but we gave a $ anyways so we could dance with the pretty bride! I remember trying not to touch her because her dress was pretty & had lots of beads, I was afraid I was going to break it! hahaha...some people gave more than a $...

honeybear072012 · June 2012

Dollar dances are very popular in western PA. We're doing one but we're not doing it the traditional way.

Traditionally you 'bought' a dance with the bride and the money was suppose to be for her pantry or new home and was part of her dowry. (this is all my understanding of it as a verbal tradition from my Slavic/Italian fam and may not be correct just an fyi) You're suppose to pin the money to the bride or stick it someone on the bride. (Went to one wedding when I was younger and the bride had money all down the front of her dress) This evolved into different things in different areas, at my sisters wedding we just held a bag.

FI and I are both dancing and we're debating if we want to have 'best wishes' cards or what not. That way if people want to give us money they can but won't feel like the have to and I really want to dance with all the guests.

Edit: Oh and after the dance they line up shots for the people dancing...Wiskey is the norm but we had peach schnapps at sister's wedding for the girls since shots of wiskey can be tough!

cmhutchison22 · June 2012

I have always seen the dollar dance at a wedding. I also never even thought they were rude or tacky until came onto TK and everyone has said that they were. Anyways, in my family and circle of friends dollar dances are considered to help the bride and groom pay for something that is a big expense that they couldn't register for. Like my cousin's wedding when I was in 7th grade. They used the money from their dollar dance to buy a washer and dryer. Some friends used their dollar dance money to put a down payment on their house. I can see why they are considered rude if you use the money to pay for the wedding, but not in the sitiautions I stated. I say it is really up to you. It is your wedding.

Lisariqua · June 2012

I haven't seen the Dollar Dance in over 15yrs. I went out with the 90's. I'm not doing one.

butterflyjumper1 · June 2012

bmore and nati - I have been to TONS of weddings nad only one ever had a dollar dance. Fiance and I were so confused and he was basically forced to dance with the bride for a few dollars. It's definitely awkward and weird!!!!

Janefreedom · June 2012

best wish dance is such a brilliant idea. maybe compliments too, a compliments dance , dance with the guests and get best wish and compliments from them

ajmom2two · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_thoughts-about-a-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:edcf41d7-ae0e-4d1a-a8e3-d2197d3c5cc9Post:8deafe41-410e-49fa-ba94-4ec5e6650e52">Re: Thoughts about a Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have always seen the dollar dance at a wedding. I also never even thought they were rude or tacky until came onto TK and everyone has said that they were. Anyways, in my family and circle of friends dollar dances are considered to help the bride and groom pay for something that is a big expense that they couldn't register for. Like my cousin's wedding when I was in 7th grade. They used the money from their dollar dance to buy a washer and dryer. Some friends used their dollar dance money to put a down payment on their house. I can see why they are considered rude if you use the money to pay for the wedding, but not in the sitiautions I stated. I say it is really up to you. It is your wedding.
Posted by cmhutchison22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>All of this exactly. I have never been to a wedding that didnt have a dollar dance. Its always like a little contest between the bride and groom to see who can dance with the most people. I am torn as to if we will do one or not. Everyone single person I know who I have talked to about it has tried to convince me its totally fine and that everyone will think its weird if we dont do one. I just cant decide but FI really wants to do one.

</div>

Carla1019 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_thoughts-about-a-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:edcf41d7-ae0e-4d1a-a8e3-d2197d3c5cc9Post:070607e4-9cf8-4fec-844d-3750f2a461db">Re: Thoughts about a Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]They are often viewed as rude and tacky. I would advise against it.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

I would not use this generic statement to speak for everyone. If it is rude and tacky in your circle of friends or culture than that is fine but you have to consider other's cultures.

My FI is African and they don't pay money to dance with the couple. The couple dances together and guests spray money over them. You select a BM or GM to collect the money off the floor. Normally by the end of the night it can be a few thousand. No one is pressured, if you don't want to participate you remain in your seat.

In his culture many don't give presents, they wait to the wedding to spray money.

KatieK501 · June 2012

I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance, but I find the idea a little strange. I want to spend most of the night danicing with my husband, not trying to compete with him to see who can dance with the most people. Just my opinion.

l_everett · June 2012

PP - it doesnt last all night just a short portion, like a bouquet toss or garter kinda thing

I think this is definately a cultural/area thing. My brother and his wife had one (she is filipino) and it is a common thing for them, our side of the fam had never seen one before. Were we offended... no, we obviously love the bride and groom so pinning $20 on my brother for a dance was no biggie. Are FI and I having one? no cause it's not our thing.

addition: my brother did look kinda awkward tho thru most of it but i think that's cause he cant dance lol

vlwayne · June 2012

In my family it was always very common, but then again we always had family/potluck style weddings too. Mostly it was the kids bringing up dollar after dollar to dance with the beautiful bride. It was also a way for the bride and groom to spend time with guests while having fun. We will be doing a dollar dance, probably 2 or 3 songs.

Ashley4486 · June 2012

I'm from Northeastern PA and they are very common here. Its because we have such a large Polish and Italian culture here. Every wedding I have been at in our area has had one, but then I have gone to several friends weddings that are from just 50 miles or so away and they never heard of them!

If you're unsure of how they will react, I would suggest not doing it. The worst thing you can do is offend your guests(but then again no one makes them get up and dance with you) I will be having one because it would be more strange for me not to have one, but I do anticipate some looksof confusion from my out of town bridesmaids! haha.

In my area, the MOH sits on a chair off to the side of the dance floor holding the veil (or basket or pouch), and a polka (because I'm Polish) plays, which is an uptempo song with no lyrics. Then anyone who wishes to dance with the Bride during that song gets in line, places a dollar or however much they wish(or none at all...) with the MOH. Then they do a spin or two around the dance floor, and on to the next person in line.

Happy planning all!

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