Pre-wedding Parties

Bridesmaids Pay?? (kinda long)

My BFF's wedding shower is this weekend. I'm a bridesmaid, and will be traveling to attend the shower (happily). Over the course of the last several months, the MOH and Mother of the Bride have been requesting our (5 bridesmaids) help with the shower stuff.
It started with favors. Instead of regular favors, they want us to create themed baskets for a "raffle" of sorts. Fine. They said either we send them money and they will build it, or we can build it ourselves. They want it to be about a $50 value. I had a hard time swallowing that at first, but now its fine.
Then MOH asked that we contribute $25-30 for Mimosas and centerpieces.
Then $75 for the limo for the bachelorette party (fine, understandable).
I just got an email this morning from MOH stating that the mother has asked that each brides maid contribute 150-200 for the shower!! This is including the $300 plane ticket, plus all the other expenses I've given.

is it just me, or is it kinda tacky to ask for $$ for the shower? If you can't afford a country club wedding shower, don't have a country club wedding shower. I would be happy to bring a dish, contrubte a bit for the meal, whatever... but $200?? It just seems absurd to me.

Re: Bridesmaids Pay?? (kinda long)

  • KJ7985KJ7985 member
    edited December 2011
    Well, I thought all of the requests were appropriate until you mentioned that last part about them springing a $150-$200 cost on you guys. That's really a lot of money! Even $50 is too much to spend on a raffle basket (in my opinion). They should have asked everyone in the beginning if they were able or interested in contributing financially, and then used people's responses to come up with a budget. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011

    My mom and aunts threw my shower and I haven't asked my Bridesmaids to really pay for anything. 4 of my Bridesmaids (out of 7) made up games and bought the prize of their choice for the winner. I would never expect them to pay $200 each to help for my Shower. That is obsurd! I wanted a Country Club wedding but it was out of budget so we decided for something smaller. I'm sure that if the Bride knew this was going on, she would not be happy. The bridesmaids were told by my MOH that they would need to pitch in for the Bachlorette party but that was a given. My MOH and MOB ask my opinon on everything before they tell the Bridesmaids. I'm sure your friend has a lot on her plate planning her wedding, but I would want my friends to tell me if they couldn't afford the ridiculous amounts of money my MOB and MOH are requesting, especially if you are traveling.

  • ChelsMcG007ChelsMcG007 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm the MOH for my friend's upcoming 2012 wedding for which I will have to travel for the ceremony and also for any showers thrown.  I'll be paying for my attire but I'm going to plan the bachelorette party and shower so that they're on the same weekend and cost very little for me and the other BMs. I think it's crazy that they asked you to pay for some lame raffle basket ($50 is wayyyy too much). The only cost I find to be reasonable to ask for in your case is the cost of the limo. As you said if you can't afford the country club shower then don't have it! It's the SHOWER not the wedding! Who does centerpieces for a shower, honestly? Anyway you're right to be upset I would talk to the bride about it and simply say that with the cost of travel you really can't afford that much more money for the shower too.
  • msul0318msul0318 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would simply tell both the MOH & MOB that you cannot afford it period.  Talk to the other BM and see how they feel, I'm sure they feel the same way as you.  Honestly it is ridiculous to ask you for $200 for the sounds like this shower is costing more than my dress!
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