Family making the reception food…??

JennHM · July 2010

My fiancee’s mother has started talking to us about the food for our reception. It seems the past few weddings she has been to had catered food that was not that good and she feels the couples paid too much for the food. She started hitting about having family cook the food for our reception. I think she was even volunteering. She also says that she thinks it would be cheaper. So my questions:

Is it ok to have close family cook all the food?

Has one done this or seen it done? Is it do able?

Is it actually cheaper?

Oh. We are thinking there will be about 150 people at our wedding. I was also thinking of trying to have the wedding at some time between meals so that we don’t have to pay for feeding everyone a full meal. (Have not really figured out how to pull that off yet though.)

Thanks

kaesha · July 2010

I think it's a recipe for disaster, unless you're a family that

a) all really really want to do it, and aren't going to be pressured by anyone to do it (and don't have to give you gifts at all)
b) have lots of experience cooking for 150 people
c) are prepared to deal with some high stress the day of the wedding (when much of the food will have to be prepared) - and when will you do that?
d) have insurance to cover accidental food poisoning

Personally, I think there are a few different kinds of cost. Monetary cost and the cost of time and sanity. Even if this does save you money, it'll cost you way more in terms of time and sanity.

rknox88 · July 2010

When I first started planning my wedding I thought this was a no-brainer great idea. Then I realized it could be a disaster. First of all you would need to get insurance just in case someone got sick and also so many things could go wrong because cooking for 150 people is hard and stressful. I think if you FMIL wants to make something have her make some apps or a special dessert or something.

My family and bridesmaids are going to make a few appetizers to serve during the cocktail hour along with some party trays we are getting from the grocer. I think this is doable. However, cooking a meal for 150 people-not so much.

tldh · July 2010

Cooking for 150 people??? There's a reason caterers get paid what they do.

There is way too much that can go wrong and on top of that, would you invite someone to your house and then ask them if they wouldn't mind making dinner?

mysticl · July 2010

Other things to think about if you do the food yourselves:
Where do the plates, glasses, silverware come from? These are often provided by your caterer. I doubt renting them yourselves will be cheaper.

How does the food get to the reception? Anyone in the family have a van?

Will your venue accept food that was not professionally prepared following health department guidelines? (One venue told me if I wanted to do a cookie table of homemade cookies I had to sign a waiver of liability)

If a batch of food gets screwed up you will end up paying for more food to replace it. If a caterer screws up and has to start over they take the loss.

How does the food stay warm? Do you have to buy/rent chaffing dishes?

And then the whole cost to your sanity thing. If a caterer royally screws up you can always sue them for breach of contract and get sympathy from your guests. If your family flakes on you at the last minute you are stuck.

MommyMarta08 · July 2010

I've never been to a wedding catered by family- it's a little strange to me. You definitely would need to buy sternos etc. to keep the food warm. Are you having your wedding at your house? A lot of venues may not let you bring in homemade food. Also, it's really stressful. Your family should be the ones being served at the wedding, they shouldn't have to be doing the serving.

Lisa8888 · July 2010

You haven't said anything to support the notion that your FMIL could pull this off. Your FMIL doesn't sound realitstic. What are her qualifications to pull this off for 150 people? I agree with all of the points expressed above. This would be a recipe for disastor.

JennHM · July 2010

WOW..Thanks everyone. I really was not sure of the idea, but all your comments have really let me know I was right about it not being a good idea. I had no idea about needing ins. and that some places don't allow you to bring in homemade food. Most of the weddings she has been to have been small. I don't think she really knows how much family and friends I have around here.

Thanks Again

zachsgirl91809 · July 2010

We actually had this done at my wedding, and it turned out really great.
We had about 140 people there. I'm not sure if I can remember all that was done, but I'll try my best.

Ham-They watched for ham to go on sale, and then sliced it, and heated it in huge roasters the day of.
Meatballs with sauce-my mom has the best recipe for these, and she's made them in large batches before. She made them about a month out, and froze them, then cooked them in crockpots the day of.
Italian pasta salad-Mom invited several friends over about a day or two before the wedding and made this. It's better if this sits.
Green beans-Purchased large bulk cans and heated in crock pots.
Rolls-my manager's husband works for a bread company, and we wanted to purchase them. In the end, they donated them to us!

They also fixed gallons or sweet tea, and punch, and also had water and coffee. No alcohol for religious reasons.

I'm sure we had other food, but I can't remember what else. I had a lot of compliments afterwards on how great the food was. If you have lots of people that don't mind pitching in to help, then it is VERY doable.

My mom was in charge of making the food, but the day of the wedding, I forbid her to have anything to with it. We had a "reception coordinator" (which was really just a friend from church) and we passed along all the info to her. We got people to help serve and it went very smoothly. Oh, and we had the reception at a pavilion with no stove or fridge. There was plenty of outlets so everything worked out fine.

king26 · July 2010

We did it for my cousin's wedding because they don't have a lot of money. Here's what we did. As a main entree/meal the bride and groom ordered fried chicken from Wal-Mart that was surprisingly delicious. My mom provided 5 veggie trays from Sam's Club. Then everyone pitched in to make 5 pound salads. There was a tossed salad, coleslaw, potato salad, pasta salad, jello salad, etc. Then there were rolls, a cookie table, and a giant sheet cake made at a local grocery store. The grooms brother-in-law is a district manager of a restaurant and was able to borrow the metal trays that keep foods hot and a few ice bins, so that helped. We also hired a bartender for the event to make drinks (bride/groom bought alcohol) and serve iced tea, lemonade, and sodas. Everyone was fine pitching in to help, but make sure everyone wants to help and that you will have enough food. I think there were 75 people at the reception and 10 of us cooked everything but the chicken. It was easy to do, but not every family can do it!

Lisa8888 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_family-making-reception-food?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:b50e7159-1541-4277-9e40-c0b20e5eab3aPost:3803dc2d-7f14-459f-926d-35201bf8b51b">Re: Family making the reception food…??</a>:
[QUOTE]We did it for my cousin's wedding because they don't have a lot of money. Here's what we did. As a main entree/meal the bride and groom ordered fried chicken from Wal-Mart that was surprisingly delicious. My mom provided 5 veggie trays from Sam's Club. Then everyone pitched in to make 5 pound salads. There was a tossed salad, coleslaw, potato salad, pasta salad, jello salad, etc. Then there were rolls, a cookie table, and a giant sheet cake made at a local grocery store. The grooms brother-in-law is a district manager of a restaurant and was able to borrow the metal trays that keep foods hot and a few ice bins, so that helped. We also hired a bartender for the event to make drinks (bride/groom bought alcohol) and serve iced tea, lemonade, and sodas. Everyone was fine pitching in to help, but make sure everyone wants to help and that you will have enough food. I think there were 75 people at the reception and 10 of us cooked everything but the chicken. It was easy to do, but not every family can do it!
Posted by 26summer[/QUOTE]

You purchased the fried chicken and the veggie trays. Making cold salads is not cooking. That was very nice of your you and your family to help out your cousin but honestly this sounds like a family picnic and not a wedding reception. Where was the reception held?

Goldlie11 · July 2010

If I were going to self-cater, I would do the reception at a non-meal time, and do app, and sandwiches. In addition, I would serve hummus and other dips with fruit, veggies, and crackers. You could do chips with salsa, a cheese platter, a couple of kinds of salads and things of that nature. Get some sheet cakes, maybe cookies, and pies too. For a reception with light apps like that, you don't really have to serve alcohol if you don't want to. You might want to nix the dancing, though you don't have to.

It's just a suggestion. When you get lots of hot foods available, then you need to get chafing dishes and make sure everything stays at the proper temperature. If you don't know what you are doing, you risk the food either not staying warm enough, or it drying out. I wouldn't want to be bothered with hot food for that many people without a caterer. But maybe that's just me.

Ditto others about with talking to your venues. It can be hard to find a place that lets you bring in your own food. GL

Ashes_3 · July 2010

I think it depends on your family. If their use to have potlucks, then go for it. You just have to be sure you or someone delegates & keeps track of whose making what. I know that we're having ours catered because we don't want ppl worrying about having to make food. It is suppose to be relaxing and a good time for everyone.

marisah83 · July 2010

I've never been to a wedding where the family cooked for 150, but I've been to two smaller weddings of about 50 guests where the family did very nice receptions. If you choose to do it, I would do appetizer type foods and fruit/veggie trays instead of trying to cook a meal.

jenellsrevenge · July 2010

We are doing this for my wedding. We are serving finger foods, my fave! My mom is used to doing this kind of stuff, and has done it for friends weddings in the past, so it's nothing new. A lot of what we are making are things can be prepared ahead of time and are served cold, or can easily be heated up, or go in the crock pot. It can be done, but you must be very organized and think everything through fully.

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