Kids?

sarabear23 · August 2010

How many do you and H/FI/SO plan on having, if any? Why did you choose this number? If you don't plan on having any, what is your reason for that (if you feel comfortable sharing)?

Anyone change their minds about anything (having them/not having them/how many/etc.)?

I ask because H and I talked about it, and when we first talked, we decided we wanted to. Well, recently, I've been thinking it may be nice to have more. Like maybe 6. H says no way, 4 at the most. haha

SarahPLiz · August 2010

We will start with 1 and see where it goes. We'll need a new place to live once the 1 gets mobile.

sarabear23 · August 2010

That seems like a good way to approach it

a-bride-to-be! · August 2010

FI and I plan on never having any children. He can't see himself being a father and I have a short fuse when it comes to children.

Of course that doesn't stop people from trying to persuade us to have kids and then question our (future) marriage when we're adamant about not having any. My mom came up with the most hilarious reasoning:

"I didn't raise my kid to not have grandkids!" <--- sorry but when you only have one kid, you run the risk of not having grandkids.

Steph0871 · August 2010

We both want 2-3. I don't want an only child, but we don't want a ton of kids either. I grew up with 3 (much younger) siblings, and I always wished I had someone closer in age to play with.

In a perfect world, we'll have a boy, then a girl a few years later.

JenGin74 · August 2010

I would be extremely happy to be able have one.

My fertility doc is calling in my Clomid perscription tomorrow!

SarahPLiz · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9ad1f659-052a-4b16-ac39-6ce8b3cc240bPost:77b5e94d-362c-4b8f-93ef-5dbee34a033f">Re: Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be extremely happy to be able have one. My fertility doc is calling in my Clomid perscription tomorrow!
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm praying for you, Jen! You and Katie are first on my list every day. I think you will both be great parents and I can't wait until your dreams come to fruition. </div>

[Deleted User] · August 2010

That would be a big 0 for us. H and I have recognized and accepted our shortcomings in the parenting sense and know we wouldn't be able to give a child everything he/she deserves. We are too selfish with our emotions and future goals, so rather than have a kid and resent it or not give 110% each and every day, we're going to stick with the cat and eventually, one day a dog.

No child should be born to parents that don't completely and entirely want/adore/love it, and I don't understand why people are so willing to force children onto couples who feel that way.

sarabear23 · August 2010

I'm really worried we are going to have trouble when we start trying. I've had a lot of issues with my body ever since I was on the depo shot years ago. My cycle is NEVER regular, and I'll go months with nothing. I need to see a doctor, but having no insurance make it hard.
Jen, I really hope it works out for you.

katiewhompus · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9ad1f659-052a-4b16-ac39-6ce8b3cc240bPost:77b5e94d-362c-4b8f-93ef-5dbee34a033f">Re: Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be extremely happy to be able have one. My fertility doc is calling in my Clomid perscription tomorrow!
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

I really hope the clomid is your ticket Jen! One of my friend's has been trying for 18 months, jumped on clomid and got a bfp 2 cycles later.

Originally we wanted to have 2 kids, ideally one boy and one girl. However it's taking so long for the first kid that I think we're having one pregnancy and whatever happens happens. I would like to have 1 year between them (but no more than 3) which would put us having a second kid (if we get pregnant tomorrow) when Scott is 39-40.

It sounds sappy but it really means a lot to me that you guys have been/are being supportive. It really does help. :)

sarabear23 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9ad1f659-052a-4b16-ac39-6ce8b3cc240bPost:475ba6d0-19e7-48f7-95f4-8be3875b8b74">Re: Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]That would be a big 0 for us. H and I have recognized and accepted our shortcomings in the parenting sense and know we wouldn't be able to give a child everything he/she deserves. We are too selfish with our emotions and future goals, so rather than have a kid and resent it or not give 110% each and every day, we're going to stick with the cat and eventually, one day a dog. No child should be born to parents that don't completely and entirely want/adore/love it, and I don't understand why people are so willing to force children onto couples who feel that way.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I like your reasoning, Seshat. I don't think its right to try and convice people who dont want kids that they should have them.

sarabear23 · August 2010

Katie, I really hope you get KU soon. I've seen you talk about it here, and I know how much you want it.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

Also, while I don't want any, I do hope that all the ladies here have the families they want. I always hate to hear about people who really want children but can't conceive, so I wish you all the best.

JennaV26 · August 2010

We want two, three at the most but definitely two. We want to start trying once DH reaches his last year of medical school so that I can *hopefully* be pregnant by the time he starts residency.

I have one sister who is 5 years older and it was a pretty good age difference for us. It worked out well because my parents weren't paying for two colleges at the same time and now that we're both in our twenties my sister is one of my best friends. I'd like my children to have a similar relationship.

Steph0871 · August 2010

awww. I'll keep you in my thoughts, too, Katie and Jen! ETA: you, too, Sara

FWIW- I popped out unexpected (mom skipped BCP for two days or something.) My parents had the hardest time having kids for the next few years, then gave up. Then out popped my three siblings in 5 years. What I'm saying is- don't give up hope!

JennaV26 · August 2010

Sorry but what's Clomid? And what does BFP mean?

I might look at The Bump for these answers but I'm kind of scared to head over there since we're in no way ready to have children anytime soon.

katiewhompus · August 2010

Sara, I don't know if this makes it better or worse but most insurances don't cover fertility, so don't mentally block yourself with that issue. I'm hoping that will change in the next few years but I'm not holding my breath.

But on a happy note, Dh is now down to 1 soda a day, and drank 2 16oz bottles of water today. I know it doesn't sound much but he was sucking down at least 10 Mountain Dews a day and never drank water before, so it's a huge accomplishment for him.

sarabear23 · August 2010

Thank you Steph.

K Byte · August 2010

We want 1 or 2. I think I'd be ok with 1 but at the same time I worry about raising an only child and what he/she would grow up to be like. I have lots of only child friends and sometimes they're not the easiest to get along with. We also both wanted them to be closer in age (like maybe 2-2.5 years apart) because H and I are both 4 years apart from our siblings and it was hard growing up because (for example) a 5 year old and a 9 year old don't really have much in common.

Oh and eta -- I've always wanted 1 or 2 ... can't really imagine having a larger family than that especially with how expensive everything is these days.

katiewhompus · August 2010

BFP - Big fat positive (pregnancy test)
BFN - Big fat negative

Clomid is a drug which triggers ovulation to help people who are not having successful ovulations (I think, correct me if I'm wrong Jen)

flyjawn · August 2010

i have two already and for a long time i thought i was done. mostly for financial reasons i could never imagine having more...

then along came SO and he wants one (maybe 2) and the financial aspect is no longer a concern. so i think in the end we'll probably have 3 kids in total, maybe 4.

it bothers me a lot when people have kids they can't afford so that is probably a big deciding factor for me.

sarabear23 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9ad1f659-052a-4b16-ac39-6ce8b3cc240bPost:7a6164e9-37f8-4d6a-be58-91a39af5245a">Re: Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sara, I don't know if this makes it better or worse but most insurances don't cover fertility, so don't mentally block yourself with that issue. I'm hoping that will change in the next few years but I'm not holding my breath. But on a happy note, Dh is now down to 1 soda a day, and drank 2 16oz bottles of water today. I know it doesn't sound much but he was sucking down at least 10 Mountain Dews a day and never drank water before, so it's a huge accomplishment for him.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I know. I'm trying not to think about that. Im hoping its not going to be a huge issue, and maybe I need to start BC again or something to kickstart my body. I dunno.
Thats good for your H, Katie! :)

JennaV26 · August 2010

Ooohh gotcha. I'll say some prayers that it's successful for you Jen!

katiewhompus · August 2010

Thanks

If you ever want to know the different abreviations without going over to TB feel free to pm me. I've gotten most of them down at this point lol.

Aedes18 · August 2010

Fi would love five and I would love two. We have agreed to having two kids and leaving room for one oops baby. Then it will be snip snip for FI.

I can't wait to be a mom and as soon as we are married I am going off of BC and we will start trying.

amylydia23 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9ad1f659-052a-4b16-ac39-6ce8b3cc240bPost:2c8916e0-ef58-4263-b71f-8fb2d57a73ea">Re: Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really worried we are going to have trouble when we start trying.<strong> I've had a lot of issues with my body ever since I was on the depo shot years ago. My cycle is NEVER regular, and I'll go months with nothing.</strong> I need to see a doctor, but having no insurance make it hard. Jen, I really hope it works out for you. :)
Posted by sarabear23[/QUOTE]
How long were you on the depo shot and how long has it been since you have been on it? I ask because I am on it right now and I am just curious.

We want at least two but I will probably only be able to have one healthy pregnancy due to health issues. I really want twins but I know that will probably not happen so we will most likely adopt.

JennaV26 · August 2010

Sounds good to me, thanks! I definitely will! Sometimes I try to google but it's always hit or miss!

Steph0871 · August 2010

I'm also concerned about TTC, since I've been on the pill since I was 15 (cramps of death.) I'm hoping everything will go well once I get off BC, but who knows.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

Sara--were you ever on pills? I was just curious is the depo shot is better. I've taken pills since I was 16 due to cycle issues but it would be nice to not have to worry about missing one. I can't do the IUDs and the sort because I have a retroverted uterus and other issues. I'm so tired of BC, but from the horror stories I've heard on here I don't think I ever want to go off.

maratea · August 2010

Thoughts and prayers to all you lovely ladies who are TTC. You will all be fantastic moms, I just know based on how you talk about it here.

H and I aren't having kids. I've known for a really long time I didn't want kids. H has also felt the same way. He didn't have much of a dad growing up, so he questions his ability to be a dad. I think he would be a great dad, but he and I don't want kids, so it's null. I don't really have a maternal instinct and I don't really care to be around babies or kids. H and I are kinda like Sesh explained- our goals are selfish and we don't want to be pushed into something we absolutely never want. And I'm tired of people telling me "Oh you'll change your mind someday." Well no, I won't, but thanks.

jamiefour · August 2010

FI and I want 2 kids but so many people are having problems these days and it is a fear of mine. We plan to start trying as soon as we get married so hopefully it will all work out.
My heart really goes out to all of you who are having problems. I really hope you get a BFP soon!

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