where to hold the wedding and also inviting kids

Re: where to hold the wedding and also inviting kids

• Stackeye210 member

  

  April 2012

  While it's nice to think of logistics for your guests it's not necessary.  They are adults and should be able to make their own arrangements.  Of course you typically have better attendance response when you make things a great deal easier logistically, but it is not necessary.  If you did want to hire cars to take people home, just look into one of those like party buses or some sort of shuttle service.  It would probably be much less expensive then having multiple cars. 
  
  You can have your two kids there and not invite any other kids to the wedding.  That is ok.  Or you could invite just immediate family kids.  If they're invited though, they're invited.  You can't give them a time limit, that is for their parents to decide.  If you make them leave at a certain time, odds are the parents will pack it in and leave too.  You might also run into the problem of people not coming to the wedding at all b/c their kid isn't invited, but that's the risk you take. 
  
  If you be respectful and create boundaries that are consistant throughout, you should have no problem with your guest list. 
  
  I know it shouldn't make a difference, but I wouldn't want to get married where my FI had once already been married.  But that's just me, it just sounds not right.  I get the feeling you feel that way too though. 
  
  Good Luck. 

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• StephBeanWed61502 member

  

  April 2012

  It's okay, from an etiquette perspective, to allow your step-kids at the wedding but no other kids - that's a perfectly reasonable cut-off to have.

  
  

  I do think it's a little rude, if you do invite kids, to demand that they leave at a certain time - it'd be fine to provide a separate room or something if parents want to take advantage of it, but you can't make an "all kids out by 9pm" rule without potentially offending people.  Also, people are really, really unlikely to leave their kids with a sitter they haven't personally chosen, so I don't know that parents would follow your "out by whatever time" rule regardless of what type of set-up you provide for them (if the wedding is in Belfast).  Also, if you have the wedding in your FI's hometown, yeah, the kids go home to their own beds, but don't the parents still have to arrange for someone to watch them regardless?  I'm not sure how the kids having access to their own beds solves the "people will leave early to care for their kids if their kids are not allowed at the later part of the reception" problem.

  
  

  I can't say what you should do as far as location goes - either location would be etiquette-appropriate.  I don't think it's a big deal for guests to take the train - I've taken trains/buses/etc. to plenty of weddings held in major metro areas, and I can't say I was offended by it, but obviously you and your FI know his family (and what they're okay with) better than anyone here would.

  my to-read shelf:
  

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• Lowell14 member

  

  April 2012

  i re-read my post and it seemed a bit harsh about send kids home/to bed. Im not looking to send the kids away at a certain time but was thinking of when they got tired/needed to go to bed. If they were happy to stay up til midnight (and were happy, energetic etc) work away, Think I may ask my SIL what she did as my step daughter was a flower girl at her wedding and all the cousins were there too.
  
  I have really taken what you have all said on board. Offending anyone is the last thing i would want to do.

  
  

  

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• melb2013 member

  

  April 2012

  I guess I'm a little confused- do you not want to invite children and you are trying to find a good way to logistically handle this?  My answer is that there isn't a perfect way to handle it.  People need to find babysitters if they can't bring the kids with them.  They can decide to come and get a babysitter or they can decide not to attend the wedding.  Really, you can't make it better logistically except to invite the kids.

  
  

  Why don't you want to invite the kids? Can you not invite that many more people?  I think if you can afford it, children are really fun at weddings.

  May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

  

  

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• AceTT

  

  April 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_where-to-hold-the-wedding-and-also-inviting-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d1d74f23-a7ae-43fa-b1c3-e9828606386fPost:47dc50bd-1b20-4e31-bd08-d6121ef33a45">Re: where to hold the wedding and also inviting kids</a>:
  [QUOTE]I guess I'm a little confused- do you not want to invite children and you are trying to find a good way to logistically handle this?  My answer is that there isn't a perfect way to handle it.  People need to find babysitters if they can't bring the kids with them.  They can decide to come and get a babysitter or they can decide not to attend the wedding.  Really, you can't make it better logistically except to invite the kids. <strong>Why don't you want to invite the kids? Can you not invite that many more people?  I think if you can afford it, children are really fun at weddings.
  </strong>Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]
  Does she need a reason? She might just not want children at her wedding. That's why I didn't invite them to mine. You're entitled to your opinion that children are really fun at weddings; I disagree.

  Due 10/21/13 with our first baby

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• Lowell14 member

  

  April 2012

  I do want the kids to be at our wedding. Im looking for the best logical way to go about it I guess its up to the parents to decide the best way to go about bringing the kids and looking after them. I just need to look after my two kids.

  
  

  

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