African American Weddings

Black Groom/White Bride- HELP!!!

Hello, ladies! I am hoping that some of you help me with some concerns that I am facing. I am getting married next fall to my wonderful fiance. Being white, I have some concerns on what to do. Over 75% of the guests will be black and I want everyone to have a great time. I want traditions and songs that most of them will know. His mother is helping, but I want ideas from others, as well. My fiance is laughing at my song choices. I have never been to a sit-down reception. What are some ideas for a sit-down dinner, songs, ect? It is very important to me that we begin this journey of marriage with a blend of both his and my traditions. I need a begin processing ideas.Thanks for any help! :)
**October 8, 2011**

Re: Black Groom/White Bride- HELP!!!

  • edited December 2011
    Umm...as far as music is concerned, I would suggest artists like Brian McKnight and Luther Vandross for the slower songs. Faster/dance songs...Usher, Mary J. Blige, Michael Jackson and etc. You can also look up African rituals on the Knot. You can check out the real weddings and get some ideas.
  • lca315girllca315girl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    As far as music goes, if you throw in some sort of Slide (Electric or Cha Cha) or the Cupid Shuffle, you'll be okay.

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  • happe2getherhappe2gether member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi Dannette - welcome to the board.  The ladies here are great and will give lots of good, sound advice.  I understand your anxiety, my FI is White, I'm Black.  But to answer your immediate question, don't forget to think of what music you both like.  FI and I actually had an impromptu conversation and we are actually in tune already with the music.  

    Think of the age range of the majority of your guests and work from there.  The Electric Slide, Cha- Cha slide, etc will be definite winners.  Is there someone in his family that you are close to who can give you some insight into the wedding? She (or he) would definitely be able to tell you what things the family would/wouldn't like.

    If all else fails, try good old R&B, Motown with some music your family would like and some current music.  Reach out to your DJ too for ideas.  They should have experience with this too.
    Good luck!  
     
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  • tamtam7tamtam7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hello and welcome to the board.  African Americans are a pretty diverse group of individuals, so you will find that many of your African American guests will probably like a lot of the same music that you like.  I agree with the suggestions of the pp, but especially the advice regarding keep in mind what you both like.  In terms of the traditions, many African Americans participate in the same traditions of most American weddings.  There are some that take part in the Jumping The Broom tradition, where the couple jumps over the broomstick at the end of the ceremony after the minister announces the couple as husband and wife.  I would suggest that you talk to your FI to see if there is anything special that he would like to incorporate in the wedding ceremony, because he may not be interested in doing that.  But there really are no hard and fast rules.

    Oh!  In terms of the sit down dinner music, I do know that some African American couples play gospel after the minister blesses the food, so you may want to consider that.
  • edited December 2011
    i would say do research on all the cultural traditions and pick something that you both fel good about. but unless his family is big on that sort of thing it's not a must have. i think wedding traditions are only special if they mean something to the couple not just b/c someone says it should be done. now when it comes to music  you can't go wrong with the oldies but goodies or anything with a good beat. but remember not to lose yourself in trying to make others feel comfortableLaughing good luck
  • OFFOFF
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome to the board!

    I agree with the previous posters you really need to sit down with your FI and discuss what music you would both like.   Black people are not a monolithic group and music taste vary.  (I for one love heavy metal and cant stand R&B or Rap).  So rather than pick music you think black people like talk to your FI about what he likes and what he thinks the guest will like.  Also, consider your age group and older crowd will have different musical tastes than a younger one.  When all else fails play Motown all night EVERYONE loves Motown.  

    Good luck and happy planning.
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