Holiday Weekend Weddings

hz80408 · December 2010

Did you get married on a holiday weekend?

I know this is a ways off, but my best friend is getting married next year, the Saturday of Labor Day weekend...and there's already talk of having a bridal shower the weekend of Memorial Day.

Am I brat to try to say something about not wanting to travel 6hrs r/t on 2 of my 3 3-day weekends this summer for her wedding festivites and suggestion a different weekend for the shower?

I'm in the wedding though and also I realize since it's a ways off things could change, but I'm just worried since it's already being talked about, I want to have a plan to handle the situation.

salt78 · December 2010

No and I never would have gotten married on a holiday weekend.

I would be annoyed if I were you. One holiday, I would probably suck it up, but I wouldn't be trying to spend multiple holiday weekends doing wedding stuff for someone.

FutureMrsTR · December 2010

I didn't. There are pros and cons. Cons: You're hijacking someone's vacation weekend. Flights, hotels and gas can be more expensive. Pros: Extra day for people to travel. I think that's about it for the pros.

If they're getting married on a holiday weekend, other pre-wedding stuff should not be scheduled on a holiday weekend. I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing that out.

opalsky007 · December 2010

I got married on MLK weekend. No one I know usually plans anything for that long weekend, so it just seemed like a convenient way to get people there without needing to take a day off work (we got married Sunday, in the middle of the three-day weekend).

I don't think you'd be out of line to suggest another day. But they're probably trying to deal with a lot of people's work schedules and travel plans, so I wouldn't expect it to be well received.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

Agree with PP's. I'm not much of a fan of holiday weekend weddings.

salt78 · December 2010

OP - If she absolutely won't reconsider the date, you also wouldn't be out of line if you didn't attend. Pre-wedding parties aren't mandatory. As much as it might hurt her feelings, she kind of set herself up for it by choosing that date.

lyndausvi · December 2010

I'm fine with summer holiday weddings, but not on holidays between Thanksgiving-Easter (mostly because it's hard - sometimes impossible -to get off work).

I do not think both the wedding and pre-wedding events should both be on a holiday weekend. I would be annoyed if I were you and start mentioning other plans for memorial day weekend to get them to pick a different date.

FutureMrsTR · December 2010

Opal - you get MLK day off? We don't

waitingformay · December 2010

I'm getting married Memorial Day weekend. I think it would be crazy for someone to expect you to give up two holiday weekends. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that... and I would understand if they didn't want to give up one holiday weekend to attend my wedding even.

cengle · December 2010

I didn't get married on a holiday weekend, but I did get married the weekend before Christmas, and we did have a lot of people that weren't able to attend. I was bummed, but I know what we were getting into.
I don't think you're out of line by saying something, and if she won't reconsider, you don't HAVE to go to the shower. One holiday weekend, okay fine, but two? That's a little much, IMO.

opalsky007 · December 2010

TR, we're out of school the whole month of January. Technically I'm still working during that time, but the schedule's pretty fluid.

Choosing the holiday weekend made the most sense for family.

hz80408 · December 2010

I'm jealous for MLK off too.

It's my best friend and I really want to be able to attend the shower and would be willing to travel for it

I like lyn.'s suggestion about mentioning plans now so that hopefully she'll tell the shower hostess not to do that weekend, I guess at least if it's really important to BF to have me there. I'll go with the approach first!

Thanks!

danieliza1127 · December 2010

We got married on Labor Day weekend in 2008. My best friend got married on Labor Day weekend in 2005. It worked out great for us. If any of our guests were annoyed, they didn't tell us about it.

I don't see any reason why you can't suggest another date for the shower though. There's nothing wrong with saying "well hey, since your wedding is already on a holiday weekend, maybe you should pick another date for the shower so you aren't taking up everyone's holiday weekends." Make it more about your concern for everyone, not just yourself. If she says no, that's the weekend that works best for her, well then you suck it up as being part of the wedding party.

MrsMLRB · December 2010

We are getting married Labor Day 2011. We picked it because we have a lot of drivable OOT guests (Minneapolis to Chicago) and wanted them to not have to take a day off for our wedding (which is on a Sunday for religious reasons). I had 3 weddings last year on Sundays during the year and it bugged me more that I had to leave the wedding early or take time off of work to attend their wedding. So I didn't want to do that to my guests.

You'd rather spend 6 hours driving on a weekend that isn't your holiday weekend? I would think then you wouldn't have to take time off for the shower and you still get a day off (if you drove there on Friday night and back on Sunday then you still have Monday free).

I agree with PP that you should mention you aren't available and see if the shower can be rescheduled.

squirrly · December 2010

Holiday weekend or no, I'm not sure I'd drive that far for a shower. I did once, from Louisville to Pittsburg (5.5 hrs each way), but I kind of doubt I would now. That's at least 50% because I hate showers, though.

Part of why I went so far for that one - the bride was moving to Kentucky after the wedding, so I ended up driving all the shower gifts back to her then-FI's place for her. She'd have never gotten them into her tiny little sports car, but my SUV worked just fine.

hz80408 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc199edd-0ca8-4a25-90ff-eecd3ee9c692Post:be12a43d-49b1-4d45-9a2d-ad87906aa714">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]We are getting married Labor Day 2011. We picked it because we have a lot of drivable OOT guests (Minneapolis to Chicago) and wanted them to not have to take a day off for our wedding (which is on a Sunday for religious reasons). I had 3 weddings last year on Sundays during the year and it bugged me more that I had to leave the wedding early or take time off of work to attend their wedding. So I didn't want to do that to my guests. <strong>You'd rather spend 6 hours driving on a weekend that isn't your holiday weekend?</strong> I would think then you wouldn't have to take time off for the shower and you still get a day off (if you drove there on Friday night and back on Sunday then you still have Monday free). I agree with PP that you should mention you aren't available and see if the shower can be rescheduled.
Posted by MrsMLRB[/QUOTE]

I don't mind the drive b/c it's my hometown as well...on non-holiday wknds it's usually 5 hrs round trip. The last time I went home from Chicago on Memorial Day weekend it took me<u> 4.5 hrs</u> one way with holiday traffic. Ever since, I totally try to avoid leaving the city on a holiday weekend if I can help it.

As long as the shower isn't on a Friday night, I wouldn't have to take time off work.

I'll just hope that she'll get the hint about not doing memorial day weekend!

MrsMLRB · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc199edd-0ca8-4a25-90ff-eecd3ee9c692Post:72096f77-fd79-42f1-9530-9d469d061bfc">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings : I don't mind the drive b/c it's my hometown as well...on non-holiday wknds it's usually 5 hrs round trip. The last time I went home from Chicago on Memorial Day weekend it took me 4.5 hrs one way with holiday traffic. Ever since, I totally try to avoid leaving the city on a holiday weekend if I can help it. As long as the shower isn't on a Friday night, I wouldn't have to take time off work. I'll just hope that she'll get the hint about not doing memorial day weekend!
Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]

Fair enough. I am now trying to figure out where you are driving from Chicago to (I am assuming Milwaukee since that would be 3 hours if you lived on the south side and would have traffic at both ends). You could also drive at night, when traffic is lighter (like leave at 8 PM on Friday instead of early Friday afternoon or Saturday morning). Chicago traffic is a nightmare. You could also look into taking the train.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc199edd-0ca8-4a25-90ff-eecd3ee9c692Post:380394ce-e900-401f-8ee9-0701ff6a5430">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]I got married on MLK weekend. No one I know usually plans anything for that long weekend, so it just seemed like a convenient way to get people there without needing to take a day off work (we got married Sunday, in the middle of the three-day weekend). I don't think you'd be out of line to suggest another day. But they're probably trying to deal with a lot of people's work schedules and travel plans, so I wouldn't expect it to be well received.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

Same here, except mine was Columbus Day, so it wasn't a "real" holiday weekend. But we had the cot savings of a Sunday wedding with the convenience of a 3 day weekend. (My MIL and SIL both had Monday off because they work in schools.)

PsyDet 2155 · December 2010

No, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. 3 holiday weekends is a lot of time to travel for someone's wedding festivities and I think it's kind of inconsiderate for your friend to schedule it that way.

hz80408 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc199edd-0ca8-4a25-90ff-eecd3ee9c692Post:d7073f13-4b72-4dfa-a40f-3fb8e3382234">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings : Fair enough. I am now trying to figure out where you are driving from Chicago to (I am assuming Milwaukee since that would be 3 hours if you lived on the south side and would have traffic at both ends). You could also drive at night, when traffic is lighter (like leave at 8 PM on Friday instead of early Friday afternoon or Saturday morning). Chicago traffic is a nightmare. You could also look into taking the train.
Posted by MrsMLRB[/QUOTE]

My hometown is the Quad Cities and live in the city (Lakeview, if you're familiar with the neighborhoods)

I can't imagine it taking 3hrs from S.side to MKE. I actually went to school at Marquette and for a year while I was there and DH was living in Chicago, I'd make the commute atleast 1x every two weeks. I usually did it in 1.5 hrs.

Unfortuantely Amtrak doesn't go to the QCA..but there is federal funding starting for it and it's predicted to start construction in 2012. That will be amazing!!

MrsMLRB · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc199edd-0ca8-4a25-90ff-eecd3ee9c692Post:488c2dfd-2335-447c-a3a0-e64ef9d20c0e">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings : My hometown is the Quad Cities and live in the city (Lakeview, if you're familiar with the neighborhoods) I can't imagine it taking 3hrs from S.side to MKE. I actually went to school at Marquette and for a year while I was there and DH was living in Chicago, I'd make the commute atleast 1x every two weeks. I usually did it in 1.5 hrs. Unfortuantely Amtrak doesn't go to the QCA..but there is federal funding starting for it and it's predicted to start construction in 2012. That will be amazing!!
Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]

I assumed if it took that much longer to get there there were two metro areas and Milwaukee is the closest metro area to Chicago. Quad Cities makes sense too though you should be okay once you leave Chicagoland. I heard they are supposed to extend Metra out to Galena sometime soon which will be awesome. But if they don't move the date of the bridal shower, leave late at night (like after 9) and you should be okay for driving.

lanejane · December 2010

I think you should be honest with your firend, "I really want to attend the shower but... Is there any way you could do it another weekend?"

I'm getting married on Memorial Day weekend. Not many family members know this yet (I'm telling them at Christmas

) but I know my family. They'll just be in the backyard with the grill all weekend so I think they'll look forward to having something more to do. We're lucky that our families reside in our hometown so most people will only have to drive up the highway to get to our venue. For the few out of town guests we'll have, I'm sure they'll turn it into a vacation/family reunion. So in my case, a holiday weekend wedding is ideal and perfect. But because of it I willl be really considerate of people's time for other events.

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