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Wedding Invitations & Paper

Returned RSVP card with a larger number than we invited

I sent out an invitation to one of our guest, but only put Mr. and Mrs. on the inner envelope.  We did not put and child's name on the invitation.  When we got the response card back it said 3 guest.  They wrote a note on the inside of the response card stating that the wedding was during their child's nap time and that Mr and the child would only be able to make it to the reception.  The only thing is the child was not invited.  The couple has family in town that can watch their child during the wedding.  I have lots of other friends that I'm inviting and did not invite their kids either.  The only kids I'm inviting are my relatives kids.  We already have a large guest list and could not invite all of our friends kids, but this couple just assumed.  The crazy thing is Mrs. is involved in a lot of weddings so we were shocked that she just assumed her child was invited or that it was ok to bring her child even though he was not on the invitation.  Maybe they assumed b/c it didn't say adult reception only on the invitation.  The reason we didn't put adult reception only is b/c we are inviting kids of relatives who are not in the wedding.  But we would have put the child's name on the inner envelope if he was invited.  Atleast that is how we addressed all the other invites.  Our main concern is that our other friends whose kids we did not invite either might get offended thinking that this kid was invited.  Another problem is that this particular set of parents does not watch their child nor correct him.  So I'm concerned that if they do bring him, he will be running loose and be a little wild kid at the wedding and get into something he has no business getting into, with his parents pretty much doing nothing to correct him.  Any suggestions on how to handle without making the parents too mad or hurting their feelings?

Re: Returned RSVP card with a larger number than we invited

  • Call, or email if you think she'll get defensive.

    "Hi Stacy! WE got your RSVP for the wedding and we can't wait to celebrate with you! Unfortunately, I see you put down 3 people, and we really can't accomodate extra guests. We'd love to see Jack some other time, though. I look forward to seeing you and John at the wedding!"

    Or, if you talk to her in person and she claims she CAN'T come to the wedding without her child, don't let her blackmail you into it. "Oh really? That's too bad. We'll really miss you. Maybe we can go out to dinner together soon!"
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  • Call them up.  "I'm sorry for the confusion, but little Timmy wasn't invited.  Will you and spouse still be able to attend without him or would you prefer that I mark you as a no?"  
    But they are going to get upset.  People don't understand why their kids can't come if all those other kids are there.
  • it's true.  it's the same with dates.  you can't have some and not others.  but definitely call to talk to her.
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  • this is something i am greatly concerned about, but the only kids that will be there are those who are able to take care of themselves. i certainly didn't spend a year planning a party for some unruly child to start knocking over my cake or playing with the DJ's cords.  no thanks. maybe i will do the whole "adult only thing"

    i agree it will be an uncomfortable phone call, but it is worth it to spare yourself an extra worry on your big day.  good luck!!!
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