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Would you ever

MinMMinM
10000 Comments
in Wedding Woes
live apart from your spouse for a significant period of time?

Backstory: I was telling Dr. HS about H's interview and he mentioned the possibility of me staying here and H moving on. I would have never thought of that. Andplusalso, I'd be hella pissed if H left me here after I moved to this pit for him.
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Re: Would you ever

  • arbolitaarbolita
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Mr. Arb and I had a conversation about this when I was interviewing for a job out of state.  We both agreed that because it was a great opportunity, I should take the job if it was offered, and he would stay in MD until he could find a job in the same state. 
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    No. I have friends who did it for the first year of their marriage, and I just didn't get it.
    Then again, H and I lived on opposite coasts for over half of our engagement. It worked for us because I was used to him travelling, but now that we're married I wouldn't do it again.

    My old boss found out my H was moving before I told her I was quitting. I think she really tried to convince herself that I wouldn't be leaving and that H and I would just have a bi-coastal marriage. As if that sht job was worth staying for.
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends on too many factors.
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  • awesome-sauceawesome-sauce member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No.
    .
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  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Nope, going through school was hard enough, most times I was physically here but mentally elsewhere. Wasn't fun for either of us most times.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    If I had to stay to sell the house, sure. We were apart for two months in the process of moving to CO. 

    But I have no career, so it's kind of moot for me. There's no reason for me to live apart from him - and to be honest, I can't really handle it. You can call that pathetic or whatever, but I didn't marry him to be apart from him. 
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    DH moved here about a month before I did, but it was only 3.5 hours away, so not a huge deal.  I would have a hard time doing it for long term (more than 6 months)

    But let's back up.  When did Dr. HS come back into the picture?  I thought his office closed suddenly.  Dr. HS has motives for sending your H away.
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    we were LD for about 6 months when we were dating/first engaged. 

    DH might stay in PA for a few weeks after I move to TX, but nothing long term. We need to see how things work out (if he has a job lined up/arrangements to ship dogs, etc.) he might stick around and work a few weeks. Luckily our mortgage in TX will be significantly less than it is here, so if he moves and is unemployed for a couple of months it will not be as painful as it would be here. (Especially because he can't collect unemployment...)
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  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't think I could do it. One of the things I enjoy most about being married to DH is being able to take care of him. I would hate being apart.

    And if I had to be a SAHW for a while, I'd be happy with that as well.
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I think it's too hard on the relationship, IMO.
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, I could handle it. No, I wouldn't want to. But if FI got the opportunity of a lifetime with his company and say - ran off to another country for 2 months on work related business, I would of course stay here.

    If it was going to be a year I would want ot move with him, but that's easier said than done when you've got a job, animals, and your name on a lease (and a whole bunch of bills)

    But really, what do you consider a significant amount of time?
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto BaconsMama and loveshine. Except, H takes care of me ;)

    I told Dr. HS, I didn't marry H to be apart from him and I sure as HADES didn't move here for poops and grins.
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  • HookaPantsHookaPants
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes. Then again, I'm used to dropping everything at a moment's notice, leaving everything behind and being alone. Maybe I'm not the right person to ask.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Dr. HS didn't specify the time.

    FWIW - yes, we have an animal, but no lease. The only reason for me to stay here would be for work.

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  • E SquaredE Squared member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We just had this conversation yesterday. Ev's already apparently turned down offers to do sound on cruise ships and be someone's guitar tech for half a year away from home. He likes me too much, he says.

    We agreed that a standard 8-week tour might be the limit for separation, and even then, he'd want to be sending a metric asston of money home to me in order to justify being away that long.
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