Scared about Monday wedding

lisabean1986 · December 2010

I'll preface this post by saying that my fiance and I JUST got engaged and have not finalized our wedding date yet. We're only considering and not yet married to a Monday wedding yet (hardy har har, bad pun).

Anyways, one of my fiance's first ideas for our wedding is to have it on the anniversary of our first date (he's good at remembering things like that) which would be April 16, 2012. Only problem is... that's a Monday. Now, I'm a novice at weddings but that already seems problematic.

I'm scared that a lot of guests might not come since the wedding wouldn't on a weekend, so I asked my parents for advice and they gave completely conflicting opinions. My mother said it was a bad idea and that I would only get married on a weekend, my dad liked the sentiment of the date and said that people will work around it (and would also appreciate the opportunity of a long weekend). Also, I'm sure vendor rates would be cheaper too.

So, what do you all think? I personally like the idea of having the wedding on our already-existing anniversary, but would absolutely NOT want to go with that idea if it means that a good amount of our loved ones won't show up.

vicki0508 · December 2010

I didn't vote, because a Monday wedding wouldn't work for me, but if it works for you then I say go for it.

As long as you're ok with a smaller number of people coming, then I think it would be fine. As a guest, I would be annoyed if I had to use a vacation day in order to go to a wedding. OOT guests with children would be less likely to come because they wouldn't want to pull kids out of school for a wedding.

Are you anticipating having a traditional evening reception? Be prepared for guests to leave early, because they'll have to go to work the next day.

If the positives outweigh the negatives, then go with a Monday, but don't pick the date solely because it's a preexisting anniversary.

megk8oz · December 2010

Being perfectly honest: if you are not one of my siblings or "bestest friends in the whole wide world", I'm probably not going to attend your Monday wedding.

I get a very limited amount of PTO from my job every year, and I have to jump through hoops to get those days approved when I do. So I'm not going to use a day for somebody's wedding unless I'm exceptionally close with them. I honestly don't know too many people that feel differently on the matter.

Something to consider: whatever day you get married on will be a "special" date to you. It doesn't have to be a date that already has special meaning, because the fact that it's your wedding day makes it more than special enough.

trix1223 · December 2010

I think choosing a date that's inconvenient for (probably) most of your guests because that square on the calendar is special to you is just silly. Sorry.

If you choose another date, then you'll have a special date in April as you remember your first date. AND you'll have another special date as you celebrate your anniversary.

Only you can decide if a square on a calendar means more to you than your friends and family.

I know what my choice would be.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

I agree with the others. I would not be inclined to attend a wedding on a weekday unless you were my sister or best friend. There are other ways you can keep costs down and not have a wedding a weekday.

What about a Friday night? Friday weddings are usually cheaper. And the whole date thing is pretty silly and stupid IMHO. Your anniversary is going to be special regardless of the date you choose.

LoveMuffins · December 2010

Ditto to what other said. And if you were one of my bestest friends in the world, or my brother, I would come... but I would be annoyed that you chose that date. Sure it's sweet and romantic, but it's also a hassle... getting ready to go to someone's wedding takes time. Even if you do it after work hours, that means that AFTER a long day of work, I have to go home, get dressed and get ready for an evening out. That's hard enough on a Friday when I dont' have work the next day. I would be seriously annoyed. Even though I probably wouldn't tell you, unless you asked my opinion.

Why not choose a day that has NO other meaning to it? You can present it to your FI as being its own special day, just for your wedding.

If he's hesitant, just show him this board.

Erica1011 · December 2010

Yeah, I like the idea of getting married on your current anniversary but a Monday wedding would be tough. I agree with the reasons already listed: taking time off of work is a pain, child care, and it most likely wouldnt be a big party at the reception due to people leaving early for work the next morning. If youre looking for something small and low-key then this could work but if your looking for a decent amount of people to attend and want a party atmosphere, I would look at different dates.

And just think... If you get married on the Fri, Sat or Sun beforehand... you could have a weekend anniversary

Celebrating both. I'm always a fan of extending celebrations for special events, haha.

tenofcups4me · December 2010

I once attended a friend's midweek wedding because she got married at City Hall in NYC and it had to be a weekday. I could also see a weekday wedding if it's a true destination (like an island) that everyone would be at for several days anyway. Besides that, it really seems rude to throw a party on a day when you know it will be inconvenient for most people.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

What's wrong with having two days to celebrate your relationship? Though I feel I should add that we celebrated our dating anniversary before, but now that we're married, we both simply forgot. But if it's really important to you to continue observing that, there's nothing wrong with doing so even if you get married on a different date. I would think that having the people most important to you be able to attend your wedding without hardship would outweigh having a cute date.

naomikb · December 2010

Personally, I would pick a date that most of my guests could come (a weekend) rather than a date that I think is sentimental.

In the end, your wedding anniversary will become the new most special important memorable day, and outweigh any previous dating/kissing/meeting "anniversary".

I am going to assume that since you are recently engaged, most of the people you have run this idea by are your immediate family or close friends, who would likely make the time, take it off work, etc. to come to a Monday wedding. But you might be missing more extended family/further friends etc. who can't do a Monday - if that is okay with you then go for it.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

My husband actually married his first wife on the anniversary of their first date; the marriage lasted one year so I wouldn't think there is any special significance to that particular anniversary, and I agree with other posts that Monday is inconvenient for most people and only VERY close friends and family will attend.

handfast4me · December 2010

It's too bad you're not getting married in Massachusetts, that is Patriot's Day, and everyone will have it off anyway (although it would conflict with the Boston Marathon:-) I'm not sure about your area, but some government agencies have that day as a Holiday.

I didn't have any guests at my second wedding (I had a medium sized first wedding in 1985, which ended in divorce in 2003), so it wouldn't be a factor for me, but if it's important for you to have as many of your friends and family around, then a weekend is probably more convenient.

However, if you're more like me, and getting married to the guy was the most important thing (so we decided to do a private ceremony, no attendants, no guests, etc.) then April 16 is fine.

You might consider asking FI what's more important to him the date or the guests, and go from there.

Calypso1977 · December 2010

even in MA, most have to work patriot's day unless you are in government or your office is on the marathon route. its not really a major holiday here.

honestly, yoru dating anniversary will cease to exist once you are married.

your family and possibly closest friends will make a monday wedding, especially with notice. but i would absolutely do a mornign wedding with a lunch reception so folks can travel home that night and be back to work tuesday.

overally, you WILL have a small turnout. but that will save you money too.

tenofcups4me · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_scared-monday-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8950935e-a5db-4607-9275-6528171a0dd6Post:e8f21963-6743-4160-96d2-765e8881cb11">Re: Scared about Monday wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]honestly, yoru dating anniversary will cease to exist once you are married. Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Not necessarily. DH and I still celebrate our dating anniversary, but in a completely different way than our wedding anniversary. On our wedding anniversary, we go to our favorite restaurant -- the site of our wedding -- for dinner and a very romantic evening. On our dating anniversary, we often (though not always) re-create the night we met with a bar crawl similar to the one we did that night. We never go barhopping at any other time, so it's a once-a-year let loose kind of thing that reminds us of the night we met. It's fun to have two anniversaries.

Pirata13 · December 2010

I agree with PPs that your wedding anniversary date will be just as special, an why not have more days to celebrate?

We got married in August, and our dating anniversary is October. Guess what? We still went out on our dating anniversary, to the same restaurant where we had our first date. It's nice because we talk about different aspects of that date, and what else we did, how nervous we were, etc. It's nice to have separate dates to celebrate. H's bday is April, our anniversary will be August, dating anniversary October and my bday November--4 excuses to go out to dinner and celebrate!

And I'm also with the majority of people who would not attend a Monday wedding. Especially if it were OOT. Our vacation schedules are very tight here, and only one person is allowed off at a time. So there's no way I'd waste a whole week's vacation just to ensure I could have the Mon & Tues to attend & travel if need be, unless it were indeed a DW that we would actually make a vacation out of.

MMRoberts11 · December 2010

If you really want to get married around that time why not the weekend before? I think your reason is great but honestly, unless you are my sister or I am super close to you I wouldn't come to a Monday night wedding. Minus travel time I'd have to take at least 1 1/2 days off of work just to attend.

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