...

jlm9113 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:daaf7088-109c-421f-b834-051e8312cb59">...</a>:
[QUOTE] Hi everyone! I've been lurking for a few days now but through I would just jump in with my most pressing question! I'm looking forward to the sage advice offered by you ladies.

My fiancÃ© and I have a VERY low budget, but a very large guest list. We have our venue and attire and are trying to make everything else fit now. We are considering doing something different in order to save on catering costs. We would like to serve an appetiser and dessert for the main meal, and then we will have cupcakes later at night. Our ceremony is at 5:00pm, with dinner starting at 6:30pm.

The problem is, with our budget broken down by guest, we can only afford about $11 per person. Our guests are all really close friends and family and will definitely understand our budget concerns! That said, do you think this is just not a good thing to do. We'll serve a heavy app, so no one will be starving.

Thank you ladies!!
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Since I don't think the post was quoted in its entirety and the back button on my browser is genius, here's the original post before it was rudely deleted.

I'm obv. having a cranky day, but the way the OP is reacting just blows my mind.

courtski2004 · September 2012

I know that you think that people are being rude since they do not share the opinion that seafood bruschetta is a non-traditional meal, but it just isn't. You have to consider your guests and feed them appropriately during your mealtime reception.
Based on the 'menu' that you have at this point, I would not be sticking around to even see the cupcakes because I do not eat seafood. As a guest, I would look around at your fancy venue and feel slighted by the fact that I couldn't even have some chicken or something else of substance. It isn't too much to ask since it is dinnertime, after all. With the funds that you have available, it would be a good idea to look around and price heavy apps/meals/action stations with a catering company or your venue. Pasta stations are really popular and cost effective--pasta fills people up quickly. Throw in some meat/veggie selections for people to add and you're on your way to making it work.

CALEO · September 2012

OP - I gave you a $10/pers option for a full meal. What's the problem with hosting that?

Peledreamsofrain · September 2012

It is 'peasant' behavior to ignore guest comfort so that you can show off. It is 'peasant' behavior to ignore good faith advice, and return it with insults. It is 'peasant' behavior to pretend to ask for advice when you have no intention of listening to a single word of it. You are classless in a very breathtaking manner. That is what people will remember about your wedding.

Judell789 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:55912fe1-b0ae-4bb4-8e03-1089391f4492">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]OP - I gave you a $10/pers option for a full meal. What's the problem with hosting that?
Posted by CALEO[/QUOTE]

I appreciate it, I really do, I just don't like pasta.

MrsKathyC · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:4aa8fd2e-6a3c-47ee-83e4-c49f7b119cb9">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ... : I appreciate it, I really do, I just don't like pasta.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

A reception is a thank you to your guests, you should be considering them in your planning. I'm curious, have you been to any weddings?

KellyBrian2013 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:4aa8fd2e-6a3c-47ee-83e4-c49f7b119cb9">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ... : I appreciate it, I really do, I just don't like pasta.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Your guests will take one look at your "fancy venue" and they'll stop giving a sh*t what you like the minute they realize you aren't feeding them.

Good luck with that. Troll.

courtski2004 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:907445c0-0591-4752-8bdd-12ca342540a9">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]none of my guests have seafood allergies.<strong> I come from a seafood loving area</strong> and My guests will be thrilled with the food! No one we're inviting is a vegetarian either. I think it will work out. So if I call it a meal instead of an appetizer then that should eliminate any of the ore-judgments I've gotten here I would think.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

I'm originally from Maine, which is decidedly a seafood loving area, and I dislike most seafood. Lobster and crab--love. Shrimp, scallops, mussels, fish-I'm out.

Yes, I'm sure will love the piece o' bruschetta that they'll be provided. They'll likely want some more. Are you also under the impression that they don't have appetites? Feed them, Seymour.

Judell789 · September 2012

Yes I've been to several weddings and don't appreciate your condescending tone. I definitely do not remember the food at these weddings, I remember the beauty of the event and how much fun it was. and to the person who called me classless, you are a monster.

wrigleyville · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:4aa8fd2e-6a3c-47ee-83e4-c49f7b119cb9">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ... : I appreciate it, I really do,<strong> I just don't like pasta.
</strong>Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Well I don't like seafood and FI is allergic to it. It isn't all about you.

If we showed up at some "fancy" venue with a bazillion guests and you served us fish on a cracker, we'd take our card and gift check and go out to dinner.

You need to serve dinner. Seafood bruschetta is not dinner. Period.

I'm sorry you failed to budget for all of your guests, but that's your problem now. You should have picked a cheaper venue or cut your guest list. This is something every single bride deals with. You are not special.

You asked if it went against etiquette, and we answered you. Now you're butthurt because people didn't give you the answer you wanted. That's not our fault.

MrsKathyC · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:5d15e6e1-f254-41ae-b578-c605fa92586e">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes I've been to several weddings and don't appreciate your condescending tone. I definitely do not remember the food at these weddings, I remember the beauty of the event and how much fun it was. and to the person who called me classless, you are a monster.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

So at your reception, what else do you have planned? Will there be dancing? What type of venue is it?

jlm9113 · September 2012

The other option is that if you are hosting alcohol, scrap the alcohol (although that doesn't mean that you should have a cash bar; it means scrap the alcohol) and use that money for food. If you have any money left over, you can host house wine only or something.

K Everdeen12 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:5d15e6e1-f254-41ae-b578-c605fa92586e">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes I've been to several weddings and don't appreciate your condescending tone. <strong>I definitely do not remember the food at these weddings,</strong> I remember the beauty of the event and how much fun it was. and to the person who called me classless, you are a monster.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

<div>You would remember it if you left early because you weren't served anything but a piece of toast with some seafood on it.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, I highly doubt that you know with 100% certainty that everyone can eat what you're serving. I can't eat raw tomatoes, but it's not like it's a common allergy, and it's pretty avoidable, so it's not something I ever mention when RSVPing to a wedding, for example. </div>

divinemsbee · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:86bbc277-61e6-4e4d-a630-f77c67adf6ed">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Your cousin is making one appetizer? How many does that work out to per person? What if someone doesn't like the one available bit of food or is allergic to it? I swear, I'm not trying to be a pain, but one appetizer per person plus some cheese and crackers and a cupcake isn't going to go over well at dinner time. I'd rather have some cheap food at a fancy restaurant venue than no food at all. Have you watched Four Weddings at all? I've been home recently during the day and caught a few. <strong>There was one where the girls got no food and actually ordered italian to the venue because they were so hungry. People will do this. </strong> Part of being a good host is offering food, drink and entertainment. That's your job as host. Please, please find a way to offer more food even if that means "cheap" food in your "fancy" venue. EDIT: And no, I don't mean cheese and crackers. I mean some meat and vegetable.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>I've been at a wedding where it happened. People ordered pizza because they were so hungry. It was a lunchtime wedding and pretty much all they had was cake, mints, and Chex mix (and, no, OP, I don't think what you're serving is multitudes more filling than that). Also, the reception was over in about 45 minutes. And that's the last people leaving (my friend was in the wedding, so we were among the last to leave). Seriously, people are going to think your venue is pretty and then they're going to jet. I don't know how long you're paying for, but it would suck to pay for a 4-5 hour reception in a classy venue only to have it be empty in an hour. Especially if you're paying for a band or DJ. </div>

KellyBrian2013 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:006a878a-ddd2-4164-93fe-283a678c3924">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding : I'm originally from Maine, which is decidedly a seafood loving area, and I dislike most seafood. Lobster and crab--love. Shrimp, scallops, mussels, fish-I'm out. Yes, I'm sure will love the piece o' bruschetta that they'll be provided. They'll likely want some more. Are you also under the impression that they don't have appetites? <strong>Feed them, Seymour.</strong>
Posted by courtski2004[/QUOTE]

Feed them all night long.

Peledreamsofrain · September 2012

In Response to Re:...:[QUOTE]Yes I've been to several weddings and don't appreciate your condescending tone. I definitely do not remember the food at these weddings, I remember the beauty of the event and how much fun it was.

and to the person who called me classless, you are a monster. Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

This is the most amusing thing i've seen in a while. I honestly laughed really hard.

I'll be sure to tell my wellfed guests after their 4th course in the meal that i'm terrible. They'll probably toast me with their sparkling wine. And guess what? I had to pick the less fancy venue to give them all of that.

LDubHawksFan · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:5d15e6e1-f254-41ae-b578-c605fa92586e">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes I've been to several weddings and don't appreciate your condescending tone. I definitely do not remember the food at these weddings, I remember the beauty of the event and how much fun it was. and to the person who called me classless, you are a monster.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

You may not remember the meal served, but you would if you were starved after. Just look back a few pages for my example. I don't remember what I ate at any weddings (except for the one a few weeks back), but I surely remember only getting carrots at said wedding, which by the way was 3 yrs ago....

Judell789 · September 2012

We have a band and a partial bar. The first two drinks are paid for. I suppose we could make the first drink only paid for and then serve something extra. And to the person who said you would take your gift and leave, how incredibly selfish!! I'm lucky none of my family would act that way. they have manners and sympathy. most of you can just f off

Miss Esa · September 2012

If I was a guest at your wedding and dinner was fruit salad and bruchetta I would not be impressed. I would be calling in chinese takeout before the last 'dinner' gets served.

There are a lot of good ideas in this thread for dinner under $11 a person.

arrestclementine · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:8042ccdd-e7e8-4323-b6c0-09fd83615596">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]We have a band a partial bar. The first two drinks are paid for. I suppose we could make the first drink only paid for and then serve something extra.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

I don't think anyone will be there long enough to hear the band. Unless they are playing while the piece of bruschetta is being served?

[Deleted User] · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:5d15e6e1-f254-41ae-b578-c605fa92586e">Re: ...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes I've been to several weddings and don't appreciate your condescending tone. I definitely do not remember the food at these weddings, I remember the beauty of the event and how much fun it was. and to the person who called me classless, you are a monster.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Honestly, and I'm really not trying to be mean, but the one wedding I went to where I wasn't fed enough, I remember feeling sick. I can't tell you what the venue looked like. I can't tell you what her dress looked like. I can tell you that I felt like I was going to pass out because my blood sugar had dropped pretty badly and that I was pissed I missed out on dancing the night away because of the sick feeling.

The one wedding I went to with BBQ (peasant food), I remember the food being AWESOME (even if it is declasse) and I remember everything about her dress, the venue, and the night because I was happy, full, and feeling fine.

If you don't like pasta, how about some nice salads? you could probably even make those yourself. Or quiche? Not that expensive, always look beautiful, satify anyone who may not like a certain type of meat/fish/poultry, and eggs are very sustaining and filling.

MegenQ · September 2012

When I read the mealetizer option, all I could think of the tainted seafood in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Don't they say that food should be a significant portion of the budget? Sorry it was not budgeted for, but I can tell you that if I was at a wedding and even if I love the mealetizer option I would leave the moment that I realized that was it for dinner. I would try somewhere like sam's club and get meat trays, veggie trays, hell, any type of trays to feed everyone. Edited with band comment: does the band know that they will not be feed, because it not they maybe the ones leaving to get food as well as the guests.

Just H · September 2012

I entertain a lot and have helped many family and friends on shoe string budgets. You can dress anything up and make it look fancy. You don't have to serve the pasta/BBQ/spaghetti in aluminum panes or boxes, get with your mom/grandma/family and put together nice serving dishes. It will take more work on your part or anyone you can enlist to help you, but it can be done. The presentation can more than make up for the "peasant food" .

Judell789 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:8bce5653-1da4-4f7a-a02d-2a192cef08dd">Re:...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:...:

This is the most amusing thing i've seen in a while. I honestly laughed really hard.

I'll be sure to tell my wellfed guests after their 4th course in the meal that i'm terrible. They'll probably toast me with their sparkling wine. And guess what? I had to pick the less fancy venue to give them all of that.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Ohh we've got a princess on the board!! Food lasts 20 minutes. Your ugly venue will last forever in photographs. Good choice, genius.

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:6a5462e6-5630-45d9-97d7-0183b52d8405">Re:...</a>:
[QUOTE]mealetizer
Posted by MegenQ[/QUOTE]

win!

lyndausvi · September 2012

how many guests are you having?

What about

veggie tray

humus, spinach and artichoke, olive tapanade, blue cheese, ranch dips

pita, crackers, crustinis,

Imported and domestic cheese tray

tomato bruschetta

chicken statays

beef statays

stuffed mushrooms

potstickers

You can get most of the items at a warehouse club (sam's, costco, etc) for less than a $1 a piece.

Avion22 · September 2012

Interesting how she keeps responding to her "closed" post....

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:ccd82d87-8e6d-486e-b72f-f1797fe85bab">Re:...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:... : Ohh we've got a princess on the board!! Food lasts 20 minutes. Your ugly venue will last forever in photographs. Good choice, genius.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

I actually really believe that people this clueless exist, but now you've given yourself away as a troll. You were fun while you lasted.

MrsKathyC · September 2012

OP, when is your wedding?

jlm9113 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:ccd82d87-8e6d-486e-b72f-f1797fe85bab">Re:...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:... : Ohh we've got a princess on the board!! Food lasts 20 minutes. Your ugly venue will last forever in photographs. Good choice, genius.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Your EMPTY venue will last forever in photos too, once everyone there leaves because you're not feeding them.

...

Re: ...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards