Mini-Meltdown

Shanee18 · January 2012

So all night I have actually been working on wedding stuff. I started with invitation wording and font which went pretty well.

Then I moved on to looking over the guest list. I tell myself we are inviting 130 people, which basically gives all of our invited guests a date to bring. However, we are most likely only inviting those who are in relationships at the time that invites go out with their significant other, and single guests will come by themselves. So I worked that number as of right now and it's around 110. Then I worked the budget based on cost per meal, tax, tip, etc.

Then I got to thinking about tipping everyone and who the heck do you tip and how much, etc. which started to freak me out...

I looked at all of our numbers thus far and we have almost hit the *wishful thinking* 10K budget. The budget is based on what we think is appropriate to spend on one day. Right now I don't even have a job in my field and am making about a third of what I really should make with my degree and background. We just find it silly to spend tens of thousands of dollars on one day. I have done a lot of DIY stuff, but it seems like we will still be "over budget" which breaks my heart a little because I have tried so hard.

Then I got to fiddling around with preliminary seating charts and now I am just having a minor heart attack. It's just so many flippin details to think about for one day! Ahhhhh!

Okay if anyone actually read this then thank you, because I know I sure wouldn't if I was in your shoes!

Just had to get those little thoughts out there so I can try to calm down.

END NOVEL.

amonis · January 2012

Shannon, I totally know how you feel. I actually took a bit of a break from it all because I was doing it all by myself with no help at all and was starting to resent the wedding. Just breathe and maybe try to conquer one little detail at a time. See if you can recruit someone (like a BM, MOH, FI, Mom, FMIL, etc) to help you. Things will work out perfectly for your big day!

calisel · January 2012

My FI and I took a break from the wedding planning durring the holidays so I know where you are coming from. On top of wedding planning we are also looking for a place to live. We hope to buy but do not know if we could afford to do so.

All I can say is hang in there and things will work out for you. Don't give up, just hang in there and branch out for support. Even if it means more vents on here... We are all going through the same stuff.

slice85 · January 2012

We've had so much going on the last few weeks that I had to stop working on wedding things too. I wouldn't stress yourself out about going over your intended budget - it's so hard to estimate accurately and there is still time for things to change. I'd focus on all the projects you've accomplished and the money you've saved! At the end of the day you're still getting married!

KrisKenny · January 2012

I hear ya about spending so much on a single day. We never really "hashed" out a budget, but it's looking like we are going to spend around $15,000 when all said and done.

I just started working on wedding related things again. Yesterday I did the preliminary seating chart and today I bought the frames for the table numbers and have been working on those.

There are so many little details, but if you start and just think of it as one by one and get them done, it shouldn't seem as overwhelming as if you look at the entire list.

Zimsgirl · January 2012

Are there places you can cut? Like the bar just do beer, wine, and soda? Or transportation?

Shanee18 · January 2012

Katelyn: Unfortunately there isn't. The biggest thing is the guest list. If only 100ish people show up then we will be in decent shape, but otherwise we will be over. If I look at only the big things, it's around budget. Won't kill us to go over, just more of something that I wanted to accomplish and be proud of, that's all.

And thanks ladies for your wonderful support. I just needed to let it out somewhere and move on.

Zimsgirl · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mini-meltdown?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:956b28b7-2349-4bdc-aa41-01fb435c1569Post:2fb101cb-9942-4c33-921c-3fd631c5c375">Re: Mini-Meltdown</a>:
[QUOTE]Katelyn: Unfortunately there isn't. The biggest thing is the guest list. If only 100ish people show up then we will be in decent shape, but otherwise we will be over. If I look at only the big things, it's around budget. Won't kill us to go over, just more of something that I wanted to accomplish and be proud of, that's all. And thanks ladies for your wonderful support. I just needed to let it out somewhere and move on. :)
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]
I'm around 140 now and wishing it was down to 100. We're fine on budget I just wanted 100 tops. We went through the guest list with my mom like will they come or not or maybe. Around 90 she said yes to and 15 maybes

sweetcanadian1979 · January 2012

I think you are just overloaded, tried to do too much at one time. How about breaking things down & only working on 1 thing at a time so that you do not get so overwhelmed again? If you finished that wait a day to go onto the next thing.

CvilleClaire · January 2012

Guest lists are scary! I spoke to one planner back in March who looked at what I told her and said "I think this is a $30k wedding." We weren't interested in going anywhere near that, so I chopped the guest list. Amazingly, looking at our list now makes me really happy...no obligatory invites, not political invites. It's liberating! If you can't imagine it now, soupy the list up into hypothetical A, B, and C lists. Not saying you should act on those lists, but it might put things in perspective.

peachykeen26 · January 2012

We have about 100 guests and are doing our own food, so that takes costs to about $4pp or so.

No seating chart, it's a free for all. I just don't have the heart put people together, we're only having a parent's table with grandparents and a sweetheart table.

We are doing the whole wedding for under 4k, its all very simple, but very wonderful. We couldn't justify even spending that much, but hey it is what it is.

Ash61612 · January 2012

I had my first bridezilla moment over the guest list. It was getting out of control. We were able to cut some people out and that helped rest my mind a lot. ((hugs)) I like Amanda's suggestion. Is there someone you can recruit to help you?

ncd5015 · January 2012

I've been having lots of (scary) thoughts about our guest list recently and it's scary!! Sorry for your meltdown - it will all come together soon!

Shanee18 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mini-meltdown?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:956b28b7-2349-4bdc-aa41-01fb435c1569Post:73926818-ea75-4739-9449-257d8665d9ef">Re: Mini-Meltdown</a>:
[QUOTE]Guest lists are scary! I spoke to one planner back in March who looked at what I told her and said "I think this is a $30k wedding." We weren't interested in going anywhere near that, so I chopped the guest list. Amazingly, looking at our list now makes me really happy...no obligatory invites, not political invites. It's liberating! If you can't imagine it now, soupy the list up into hypothetical A, B, and C lists. Not saying you should act on those lists, but it might put things in perspective.
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]

<div>I wish we could do this! We already sent STD's out to guests. Granted there were a few I am hoping to take off the list that I didn't send one to. But unfortunately when we first got engaged, Fi was talking about the wedding with everyone and did a couple of those "you're invited" moments. Insert foot into mouth! So now we are locked in when a lot of these guests I could do without. Oh well. Fingers crossed they can't make it?</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks ladies for your wonderful words as always. It's just one of those moments where one thing leads to another and next thing you know you have spent 5 hours on wedding stuff and feel more flustered than when you started. But thanks to you and a good old chat with mom, I am feeling much better about things!</div>

goodine11 · January 2012

It sounds like the guest list is your biggest, issue. Maybe you, your fiance', and your parents can sit down with a fine tooth comb and eliminate some of those people. I thinking start with a guest A, B, C list. Those on the A list have to be there, those on the B list not so much, and those on the C list ( Coworkers) dont really have to come.

I don't its your day, there will be stress, but you can get through this.

courtneyclare103 · January 2012

Our guest list is out of control. I mean, not really, but the final number kind of scares me. However, now every time I think of one or two people I'd like to add, I think of how much it costs to add one or two people, and that usually stops me. At first I told myself one or two extra here and there wasn't a big deal--it's just one or two people!--but that's dinner and drinks, more favors, more programs, more cake, possibly another table, which leads to more tablecloths, chairs, centerpieces...it all adds up, even for one or two more!

I'm also starting to freak out a little because it's getting SO close! Eek!

MMRoberts11 · January 2012

Guest lists are crazy and I swear the most difficult part of a wedding with everything involved with it and how expensive it gets from that number.

I do think it is completely normal to have freak out modes though and I have definitely been there too. Every time I look at how much we have spent and how much we've saved and whats left I kinda freak out even though it's doable for us. I sometimes just think I wish we could be at this amount rather than that.... oh well.

nanciee220 · January 2012

I think it's totally normal!! You're absolutely right though, there are so many little details. This happens to me all the time. I'm online googling about one thing, then something else pops up, then something else does. Next thing you know I have like 5 different pages opened up lol. It's easy to get overwhelmed with wedding stuff, but it is important to take a step back sometimes though and just worry about one thing at a time. Take it easy

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