Georgia-Atlanta

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol!!

My FI is British and lives in Engalnd with his family. I'm over for a visit and am staying with him and my FMIL - this is the first time we've ever been able to actually talk wedding. My FSIL has a friend getting married in a few months, and one night over dinner she was telling us how the bride is only putting 3 bottles of wine at each table of six(1 red, 1 white, and 1 rose) and they were completely dismayed!

At this point I started to get this feeling of dread, because I'm not having alcohol at my wedding (except for the champagne toast). The reason for this: my mother is a recovering alcoholic. Every special occasion of mine has been ruined because she got drunk. She's become a lot better lately, only drinking on special occasions - and my way of thinking is that if there isn't any alcohol for her to get drunk with, then she won't upset me on my wedding day.

I'm starting to have second thoughts, though, because of how devestated everyone seemed to be about LIMITED alcohol - am I going to make my reception less enjoyable for them by excluding it? And if so, here is my dilema - without alcohol his family is unhappy. With alcohol I run the risk of my mother getting trashed and ruining a part of my special day. I feel akward talking to FMIL about it because I hate to give a bad impression of my mother. I REALLY don't want to talk to my mother about it because she'll start to cry and ask me why I'm so ashamed of her and start calling herself a bad mother (so basically - she'll seriously overreact).

Any suggestions?

Re: Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol!!

  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh yeah, and my mothers family has a history of alcoholism so there will be SEVERAL recovering alcoholics in attendance, it's just that my mother is the only one that would upset me by getting really drunk and making a fool of herself : p
  • lucyslovedlucysloved member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow. That's a tough one. I have a friend who did the same thing. His wife and he both had family members they were afraid would act like a$$ hats, so they didn't have ANY alcohol. Did it make for a more boring reception? It did, but people still stayed. Maybe left a little earlier than people normally would. Maybe you can just have a shorter reception so the people that want to go drink can. HTH and GL!
  • ldbarrett82ldbarrett82 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think there is anything for you to worry about. You have a delicate family situation and if you don't wish for any recovering alcoholics to be tempted then you merely remove the temptation. If the groom's family is disappointed then they will have to deal with that. Good luck!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker imageGraphics
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with pp that your FI's family will just have to get over there not being any alcohol.
    I am not having any at my wedding this October, and I am sure that some people will be disappointed, but it is a personal decision.
    Your FI's family should respect your decision. You could bring it up with them by just saying that there will be several recovering alcoholics in attendance and you would just rather not have the temptation there. You don't have to tell them any specifics or even bring up your mom. They should understand. And if alcohol is that important to them, they can drink after the reception :) You could even have an after party or something...


    Good luck!!
    ~Megan & Steve 10-10-10~ Image and video hosting by TinyPic Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
  • edited December 2011
    I think you should tell your FI the situation. Then he can talk to his family about why there won't be alcohol at your wedding. I bet they will understand and stop talking about it around you!


    An BTW-- do you work at FADO? I was there the other day for happy hour and my server's FI lives in England and she was getting married too... I know its a long shot... but its it you?
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_georgia-atlanta_blame-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:58Discussion:025eb2b7-444c-4664-9407-96ce657b036ePost:7328da83-f8fc-4368-ab65-140e8316eb95">Re: Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think there is anything for you to worry about. You have a delicate family situation and if you don't wish for any recovering alcoholics to be tempted then you merely remove the temptation. If the groom's family is disappointed then they will have to deal with that. Good luck!
    Posted by ldbarrett82[/QUOTE]

    DITTO THIS!!
  • dzBridgiedzBridgie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you are doing what is best for you on your wedding day and everyone in your future extended family will just be happy to be a part of such a special day.  On a related note my FMIL is a recovering alcoholic  and my fiance has already informed the venue and wait staff that she is not to be served alcohol under any circumstances.  If you do decide to include alcohol you could give the same sort of "heads up" to the bartenders, wait staff, etc.

    Either way I hope that you have a beautiful and happy day!

    Love, Dreams and Beautiful Blessings Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_georgia-atlanta_blame-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:58Discussion:025eb2b7-444c-4664-9407-96ce657b036ePost:6ad4540b-5b3f-4c48-b520-b36a39e08f3f">Re: Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should tell your FI the situation. Then he can talk to his family about why there won't be alcohol at your wedding. I bet they will understand and stop talking about it around you! An BTW-- do you work at FADO? I was there the other day for happy hour and my server's FI lives in England and she was getting married too... I know its a long shot... but its it you?
    Posted by annetastic071710[/QUOTE]
    No, it's not me lol. I used to work for Staples and now I'm between jobs, going to start looking again as soon as I get back to the states.
    My FI does understand the situation, he just said to leave it up to me because he doesn't know what to say.

    Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions and support.
    What are your oppinions on just serving Mimosas as a signature cocktail or something? I love mimosas and it ties in nicely with my Southern Belle theme. Would it be a bad idea to say only mimosas and no straight up champagne??
  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Haha, I don't drink very often so I have no idea how strong it is n stuff. Well, I still have plenty of time to figure it out!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards