Moms and Maids

Bridesmaids

I have six bridesmaids (eek!) 2 are my fiances sisters, my MOH is my sister and 3 best friends of mine. With six months to go I still have not been able to sit and talk with any of them about dresses and/or bridesmaids accessories. None of them live here where I do anymore. My fiances sister won't even return phone calls or e-mails. I'm feeling super stressed and really irritated by all this. What can I do?


*Soon to be Mrs. Horne*

Re: Bridesmaids

  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    The best wedding decision I made outside of marrying my DH was having the BMs choose their own dresses.  I gave them a color (black) and they picked any dress, any style, any designer, any length, fabric, etc.

    They all looked wonderful.  I was happy, they were happy, and it took all the stress out of BM dress shopping.

  • edited December 2011
    The suggestion above is a good one.  Or, you can take yourself to David's Bridal (because they are everywhere).  When there you can do one of several things...you can pick a style, color, everything or, you could pick a color, fabric and length and let them pick the style, or any combination of the possibilities.  Then, you put together a bridal party newsletter that has all the information they need,,,and a deadline to contact you that they understand and agree.  Be sure to send it to your future MIL too so that she knows the deal and feels included and may help to motivate your FI's sisters.

    Don't wait for them to come to you...be proactive.  You don't have to be stressed, angry, or mean...just definite!
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  • edited December 2011
    alrighty, so i totally hate the whole "pick your own dress" idea, because it looks so informal. but if your wedding is casual, what the heck?

    i'd say, if they all  have access to a webcam or a chat server, arrange a time for a web conference on skype or something.
    you can all discuss different styles, etc.

    or you can send an e-mail to all of them and ask what types of things they like in a dress (bodice style, halter, straps, strapless, length, etc). what they're comfortable in. and then find something that they'd all appreciate.




    see, i'm not that much of a bridezilla! ;]
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6aee7956-4949-45f8-b892-ad1283a74ae5Post:e688fa1b-019d-4fe8-9fbf-54134679b383">Re: Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]alrighty, <strong>so i totally hate the whole "pick your own dress" idea, because it looks so informal.</strong> 
    Posted by brimcleod[/QUOTE]

    <div>Really?  All my BMs picked their own black dresses, everyone wore something appropriate for the event, and my wedding was pretty formal, as far as that goes.  My wedding didn't turn into a less formal event because no one matched.  Actually, all the ladies chose dresses that reflected their personalities (and budgets) and the different dresses really complimented each other and made our pictures and the look of our wedding really interesting.</div><div>
    </div><div>Nothing is further from the truth in terms of your statement.  The fact that the dresses aren't the same isn't what makes them formal or informal.  The style and type of dress determines that.  A wedding doesn't cease being formal because all the BMs are in different dresses.</div><div>
    </div>
  • redprincessredprincess member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Other than the Fiance's sister not returning your call, really, what's to talk about?  You can and should pick the color and style.  Let them know what it is.  And they can send their measurements directly to the dress shop for the order.  I've been in several weddings where the bride did exactly this and I was fine about it.  Only when I've been MOH did I really have any input on it. 

    It is important to find out what's up with FSIL.  She may have just had a busy couple of days/weeks or it could be something bigger.  Good luck!
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  • pandasquishypandasquishy member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6aee7956-4949-45f8-b892-ad1283a74ae5Post:e688fa1b-019d-4fe8-9fbf-54134679b383">Re: Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]alrighty, so i totally hate the whole "pick your own dress" idea, because it looks so informal. but if your wedding is casual, what the heck?
    Posted by brimcleod[/QUOTE]

    <div><strong><span style="text-decoration:underline;" class="Apple-style-span"><em>This is definitely not informal</em></span></strong>, it allows the girls to each pick something they look good in and are comfortable wearing.  If your'e having a formal wedding, just make sure the length of all their dresses are long.  </div><div>
    </div><div>It is the length of the dress that denotes whether or not the wedding is formal, not whether they're all wearing the same style.</div><div>
    </div><div>To the OP:  I  told my girls to pick out dresses that were "Marine" colored from David's Bridal and floor length.  Since my BMs range in size from 6 to 22, they were able to pick something that looked good on themselves.  If I had picked just one style, someone would have looked horrible.</div><div>
    </div><div>I would suggest doing this, and then if they don't have the dress on wedding day, they don't stand up with you.  Simple as that!</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6aee7956-4949-45f8-b892-ad1283a74ae5Post:e3aacd81-a3a3-4afb-b307-6fadc9e063ea">Re: Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids :  It is the length of the dress that denotes whether or not the wedding is formal, not whether they're all wearing the same style.
    Posted by pandasquishy[/QUOTE]

    I respectfully disagree with the first part of this statement.  I have seen floor length dresses that are definately casual and knee or mid-calf length dresses that are formal.  I believe that it's a combination of the fabric and style that dictates the level of formality of a particular garment.  I have even seen some pant suits that could pass as formal or semi-formal attire.

    The bridesmaids wearing different styles has nothing to do with the level of formality of the wedding. 

    As far as the OP question goes here is my two cents:  Phone each of them asking what her budget is for the dress and also discuss expectations for hair, makeup etc and what she can afford if you aren't picking up the tab for any of this.  Leave a message stating the reason for your call for any who aren't home.

    If you still can't reach missing-in-action bridesmaid then ask her sister or your fiancee for some help. 

    Proceed with dress shopping based on the lowest price range.  Do group emails with all of your female bridal party and exchange ideas, links.  Or as someone suggested pick a colour and let the girls pick their own dress.
  • edited December 2011
    My six bridesmaids live all over- in Japan, Australia, Hawaii, and across the USA- and are all very busy and very hard to get a hold of.  As soon as we got engaged I started e-mailing them asking what colors they liked to wear, then what shade of purple (which they all agreed upon), then sent them a link to ariadress.com and had them each pick a style and tell me their size.  It took about three months, but if you chose the color yourself you can easily get everyone to make their decision in the next 6 weeks and have  enough time to order dresses from almost anywhere.  I liked aria because their dresses are really well made and they don't look so "adult prom" when they're raw silk (as opposed to satin).  They've also been super easy to work with over the phone and internet!

    Don't be afraid to keep at them if you're not hearing back, and for your FI's sisters, have HIM call them if they're not responding to you!!! 
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