Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

Future M-I-L...help?

My FMIL is so sweet, I adore her. But at the same time, difficult for me to understand.

I got my dress in NJ. She couldn't make it so I asked her to go veil shopping with me. She insists on going this weekend even though there are no appts available. She says she just wants to look at it. I was told they were getting new veils this summer so I figured it would make sense to wait and go then. She still insists. I explained you can't tell what it looks like thru the bag and I'd rather wait and go when we can try it on. I then gave her a few wknds free to see the dress. She responded that she's going to the shore every weekend so this is the only wknd that works.

It just doesn't make sense to go look at a dress hanging in a bag. Every time I try to say no, she comes up with another reason. She then asked me if after we see the dress, I could drop her off at her son's in Jersey bc she doesn't want to drive herself. I basically think she's insistent bc she wants a ride there. I hope I'm not a total jerk but I want to say "Sorry, I'm busy this wknd." She's going to be family so I don't want to offend her but mannnn...Should I just suck it up and go along?
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Re: Future M-I-L...help?

  • mana8503mana8503 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Where is your FI in all of this?
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  • edited December 2011
    He's always on my side, but gets very protective of his mom. He thought I should just go at first bc we thought she really wanted to see the dress, but after she asked me to drop her off at his bro's, he changed his tune. He's just like, "You have to understand, she's just not independent. She means well." etc. He offered to call and bluntly tell her we can't go to the bridal shop. He also offered to just drive her there himself if what she really needs is a ride. I just feel bad, she really doesn't mean any harm, she's so backwards about things.
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  • mana8503mana8503 member
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    edited December 2011

    I'd tell her there's no sense in going to see the dress if she can't see it on you.  That if she still wanted to go to NJ, her son would be willing to take her.  Ask her for free weekends to plan a trip to see the dress and veil shop. 

    But that's me... I wouldn't be making that trip to see my dress in a bag, when really she wants a ride to see her other son.

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  • edited December 2011
    Ok. I am on the same page as you 100%. It makes absolutely no sense for me to go. I just have total pushover tendencies and have a really hard time saying "no". Working on that... :)
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  • mana8503mana8503 member
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    edited December 2011
    Haha, I say this, but like you - total pushover! 

    BE STRONG!  It's something I'm working on.  Also, if she has no available weekends... then her loss. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Haha - it can be SO hard sometimes. Good luck to you too. :)

    And you're right, I'm not going to sweat that. If she can't come, oh well.
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  • edited December 2011
    My MIL only seen my dress when it came in, same as my parents.
  • edited December 2011
    You have a year.  Wait awhile to try it on for her and get your veil.  
  • edited December 2011
    I know. There's no rush at all. To most people, I think that's very clear. She just wants to be included in everything and has a way of reminding you every single time she's not included. ...it's just a little much, in my opinion. She'll get over it.
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