Pre-wedding Parties

Shower at church

I go to a small church, and I'm the first female member in a very long time to get married.  One of the ladies who I'm really close to has asked to throw me a shower for the ladies at church, especially b/c I'm getting married in my home state (3500 miles away), and she wanted to have a chance to celebrate locally.  I happily accepted. 

I was not, however, expecting the shower was announced in the church bulliten.This brings up the question--do I send everyone in the church an invite (b/c, of course, they were technically all invited to the shower)?  I know that strict ettiquite rules dictate that I do, but I feel that this is an exception, on par with a work shower.  

What do you think?

Re: Shower at church

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    My understanding is that a church shower is an exemption to the 'all must be invited' rule.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    No, you don't have to send invitations to everyone that shows up. This is similar to a work shower. The friend actually handled this well by posting the open invitation in the church bulletin. Since no one received a personal invite, I don't believe anyone will expect a wedding invitation.
  • WGachesWGaches member
    edited December 2011
    Ditto banana. Church showers are exempt. The bulletin invitation is common in my church, and it's considered a faux pas in my church if it is NOT put in the bulletin...
    *Jeremiah 29:11* SoyFreeBlog
  • bekahjane89bekahjane89 member
    edited December 2011
    They're right, it is a 'pass' on etiquette. I would just publish a wedding announcement in the bulletin after the wedding and a thank you to the members. (also, don't forget hostess gifts!)
    I however am in another situation with this that you have luckily ducked out of by having the wedding in your home state, weddings are announced in the church bulletins. It is considered horribly rude if you grew up in the church to not (and I did, my dad is deacon and my brother is staff...). So our technical guest list of 180 has been expanded to include what we expect from church members etc and we have about 350 RSVP... good thing I'm only having to pay for another slice of cake and cup of punch!
    Beka Lou
  • AmandalovesAlAmandalovesAl member
    edited December 2011
    You didn't throw the party, so it isn't your guest list.  You shouldn't feel obligated...i'm in a similar boat with a small church, but still I can't afford to invite EVERYONE!  They will understand and just have a good time!
    imageimageVacation Till our honeymoon!!!
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