Obsessing...

Bride_to_be_2011 · December 2010

Married ladies- what were the things you obsessed over the last few months before the wedding??

Stacylynn702 · December 2010

haha, EVERYTHING! I think I was mostly occupied with last minute DIY stuff like the table numbers and such. It all worked out and got done so the worry was pointless. We also spent a lot of time on our music list and a must take list for our photographer (which on the day of, I forgot to give her so that was pointless for me too).

As it got even closer....I stopped freaking out. It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage. Focus on that! I know it's cliche but it really is only one day. Just focus on things that FI will notice. Worry about you! You're all he's going to pay attention to. I'm not talking about make-up or your hair, I'm talking about what's on the inside. Make sure you're happy, it will show. That's really all that matters in the end. You'll be beautiful and everything WILL fall into place. I was up til 1am the night before freaking out and doing last minute crap that probably wouldn't have mattered. Be happy, get plenty of sleep and enjoy every minute. That's the only advice I can offer. Then enjoy your life together! It's amazing!

Bride_to_be_2011 · December 2010

Stacy I just got misty eyed from that post. Thanks

Stacylynn702 · December 2010

haha, I cried while writing it. It came from the heart and is true. I wish someone would have told me that. Just have fun with it now. All of your major work is done, just little stuff now. You'll be beautiful!!!! I can't wait for B2B to come to the other side!

Bride_to_be_2011 · December 2010

You are so cute Stacy

Stacylynn702 · December 2010

I guess this came from the fact that the day of the wedding, I didn't worry about a thing. I was just so happy. I had people come up to me at the reception and tell me that I was the happiest bride they had ever seen. That meant the world to me. I couldn't help but smile because I was finally marrying my best friend and the love of my life. I know I said it's "only one day" but after the fact, it really is the best day of your life because you're making something you had with your FI official and forever. It's really magical. I know I sound lame but it's a day I'll never forget and I'm sure other married ladies will agree. DH and I were together over 7 years on our wedding day and the fact that we both said "Yes" during our vows meant the world. It was all perfect, even with little mishaps. I wouldn't trade that "one day" for the world.

I know you'll feel the same after

Don't worry about a thing!!! It will be perfect no matter what.

Ms.BriarRose · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_obsessing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:8b575ecd-dc53-49aa-8afb-a1714660b211Post:95400fa4-a470-4017-a88a-7a64b3ba1e54">Re: Obsessing...</a>:
[QUOTE]haha, EVERYTHING! I think I was mostly occupied with last minute DIY stuff like the table numbers and such. It all worked out and got done so the worry was pointless. We also spent a lot of time on our music list and a must take list for our photographer (which on the day of, I forgot to give her so that was pointless for me too).
As it got even closer....I stopped freaking out. It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage. Focus on that! I know it's cliche but it really is only one day. Just focus on things that FI will notice. Worry about you! You're all he's going to pay attention to. I'm not talking about make-up or your hair, I'm talking about what's on the inside. Make sure you're happy, it will show. That's really all that matters in the end. You'll be beautiful and everything WILL fall into place. I was up til 1am the night before freaking out and doing last minute crap that probably wouldn't have mattered. Be happy, get plenty of sleep and enjoy every minute. That's the only advice I can offer. Then enjoy your life together! It's amazing!
Posted by Stacylynn702[/QUOTE]

THIS. A MILLION TIMES THIS.

I obsessed about everything that wasn't done- finishing writing the ceremony, printing all the stuff to have set up, people not replying, all the DIY stuff, having enough candy for the Candy Buffet, switching photogs a month before and hoping I wasn't making another mistake, getting the music selections and announcements to the DJ...the list goes on and on.

But as I got closer, I realized several things:

1) I may notice that that the Love is Sweet sign on the Candy Buffett table is framed in a Dollar Store frame, but no one else is going to care; they are also not going to care that it is printed instead of cut out like it was scrapbooked. They are not going to care that the little candy bags are plain white, with no sticker or stamp on them. Ditto for all those other little details. Guests are not going to notice what isn't there, so don't kill youself trying to get those little things done that no one will notice. I had to finally say to myself, enough is enough.

2) if it was not done by Thursday at 5 pm, then it was not important enough to do (except for dropping things off). If it was not important enough for me to do months ago, it's not important for me to rush around doing the day before my wedding.

3)Like Stacy said, the most important part of the entire day is that it is the start of a marriage. If our guests are really there only for the free alcohol and candy, and are going to scrutinize the fact that my table cloths were a different color blue than my girls dresses, then I need to be rethinking the relationship we have with them.

Seriously, do what you know needs to be done- invites, fittings, vendor meetings...but don't kill yourself going overboard. It is only ONE day out of your entire marriage. DH and I talk all the time about how yes, it's a nice day, but it's not that important of a day that we should have gone bankrupt for it. A house lasts a heck of a lot longer.

miguelhilary2010 · December 2010

I gave up on obsessing/planning a few months before. Seriously. I realized that it was getting out of hand, and no one would notice the little things anyway, so I just sat back and relaxed as much as possible. Now, that being said, I'm a little compulsive when it comes to control and organization, so my "relaxed" is still super anal. LOL

I spent the last few months trying to get everyone on the same page and making sure everyone was in a positive mental space. I didn't want any drama, so I over-communicated with my parents and bridal party so they would know what was going on. I even told some of them that I didn't care what happened as long as the ceremony went smoothly and I think that made them more relaxed knowing that I wasn't feeling uptight about making everything perfect.

As far as real task to-do stuff, send invites and track the responses as they are returned. Don't let them pile up and then tackle it all at once. I kept a spreadsheet. Also make sure the seating/escort cards and programs are done. I did mine last minute because we had changes. You have a DOC, so this may not apply, but confirm details with your vendors... date/time, what you ordered, guest counts (if applicable), etc.

ENJOY IT! And call me if you need any last minute help

Amerbutt81 · December 2010

>>2) if it was not done by Thursday at 5 pm, then it was not important enough to do (except for dropping things off). If it was not important enough for me to do months ago, it's not important for me to rush around doing the day before my wedding.<<

I made this my #1 priority. However, my cut off date was July 9th (the friday before). I didn't to really enjoy the week before the wedding, and I am so glad that I made that cut off date. Some things fell by the wayside (i.e. my guest book) but I honestly don't think anyone noticed.

Back to the original question though: I obessed about two things. 1. My veil. After mine got bedazzled, I was at David's Bridal twice a week trying on veils and deciding if I wanted to purchase another one. In the end, I realized that it would have met a lot to my mom if I wore the original one.

My other obsession- those $%*&# place cards. Between getting the RSVPs back (because certain wedding party members wouldn't send theirs back) and trying to figure out exactly how I wanted them to look, those sonsofbishes took me over two weeks to complete.

QTsgirl522 · December 2010

I think I blocked out the crazy obessive memories from my brain. I completely agree with pps though. No one is going to know if you are missing a bathroom basket or the flowers were supposed to be a different shade of pink. Only you will know, not even DH will notice. I do remember being a little worried about the weather but I promised myself I wouldn't look at the forecast.

nicole8586 · December 2010

Other then RSVP's nothing!

I didn't do much DIY, maybe that made my wedding cliche maybe not, but I wasn't freaking out about getting stuff done! Just about everything was included with my venue and that was the best decision I made.

No one else knows about little details you have planned. So if they are not there it wont matter. You wont even notice once the day is here!

Bride_to_be_2011 · December 2010

thanks girls, I really don't think I started to obsess over anything yet. Which is good. I have lots of time to think now though.

And yes I have a DOC so that willl be good in the end.

ooodsie · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_obsessing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:8b575ecd-dc53-49aa-8afb-a1714660b211Post:d096354a-8ca3-437f-a0f5-a618691f6646">Re: Obsessing...</a>:
[QUOTE] />>1. My veil. After mine got bedazzled, I was at David's Bridal twice a week trying on veils and deciding if I wanted to purchase another one. In the end, I realized that it would have met a lot to my mom if I wore the original one. [/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Your mom? Is that your new nickname for me? How cute ;)

</div>

Northstar1808 · December 2010

everything! my table numbers, the centerpieces, the place cards, my cake. Especially my cake cause the baker was a looney. everything.

happywithhim715 · December 2010

I was obessing over EVERYTHING at about the two month mark... However, I finally realized it was ridiculous and like everyone else said, most of the "little things that you SWEAR everyone will notice" wont go noticed!

Such as I wanted a bar menu for the two bars, I printed it, I stressed it it was straight and center and the cardstock blacking was perfect, I laid it under a thick book so it didnt curl, etc.... Day of the wedding, I couldn't even tell you if it was OUT! I didnt see it or pay any mind to it... So if me, as the BRIDE, didn't notice how many guests do you think actually saw it?

Another example, I ordered a guestbook with all of our engagement pictures in it, I didnt want the pen to smear so I went on Mixbook's site and found out the pen they recommended, went to Michael's bought 4.... (at $3 a darn PEN!) but it was going to be PERFECT! Whelp, they were fine tipped pens, and people left the caps off so it was easier for the next person (normal) and before cocktail hour was even over, all FOUR pens were dried up and useless! After the wedding, I realized I should of just got normal pens, and if they smeared then they smeared but atleast I would of had everyone sign it... But then again I dont know when the next time I will have the darn guestbook out to LOOK OUT!

I also put a deadline in place.... anything that wasn't finished by Oct 30th (one week before) wasn't going to get done. I was able to enjoy the week with my FI then get a manicure and pedicure to relax even more.... It was WONDERFUL! Set a deadline!

Bride_to_be_2011 · December 2010

Valerie that is a great idea, a deadline!

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