Wrist bands at weddings to ward off wedding crashers?

kylikrummel · March 2013

Just found out today that the park I am getting married at will also be host to a second wedding about 300 yards away. While we will not be able to see the other wedding at all, we now have to deal with the issue of guests getting to the correct wedding. Because we managed to reserve our venue only minutes before the other couple, we were able to meet them, and they seem very angry about us getting the venue before them. Sense they will be so close by, we are worried that either they might sneak by to get drinks from our wedding, or that their guests might accidentally show up to our wedding for a little bit thinking they are in the right place.

Would giving out wrist bands, or stamps, or tying a piece of twine around the guests' wrists be tacky? That way we don't have any wedding crashers, or alcohol thieves?

Simply Fated · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wrist-bands-at-weddings-to-ward-off-wedding-crashers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4fbb3a3b-4c40-4bba-b6f0-2e429db3819fPost:6616acc3-74ff-4711-ab44-dfdbe6289517">Wrist bands at weddings to ward off wedding crashers?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just found out today that the park I am getting married at will also be host to a second wedding about 300 yards away. While we will not be able to see the other wedding at all, we now have to deal with the issue of guests getting to the correct wedding. Because we managed to reserve our venue only minutes before the other couple, we were able to meet them, and they seem very angry about us getting the venue before them. Sense they will be so close by, we are worried that either they might sneak by to get drinks from our wedding, or that their guests might accidentally show up to our wedding for a little bit thinking they are in the right place. Would giving out wrist bands, or stamps, or tying a piece of twine around the guests' wrists be tacky? That way we don't have any wedding crashers, or alcohol thieves?
Posted by kylikrummel[/QUOTE]
300 yards away is fairly far, considering some venues have the doors to different parties only a few feet away. Crashers are almost always caught. The movie is just not very realistic lol.

Wedding crashers happen, but they're usually caught by actual guests or people who work at the venue. I don't think a wristband or something to that affect would definitely help because they can just say they left it at home or it fell off. Not to mention your actual guests wou could really leave them at home by accident.
Also, I love accessorizing and a wristband, even one made of twine, wouldn't add to my look, kwim?

gnc0988 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wrist-bands-at-weddings-to-ward-off-wedding-crashers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4fbb3a3b-4c40-4bba-b6f0-2e429db3819fPost:b2faceb1-5f66-47ab-8595-fd80ac4fe583">Re: Wrist bands at weddings to ward off wedding crashers?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wrist bands at weddings to ward off wedding crashers? : 300 yards away is fairly far, considering some venues have the doors to different parties only a few feet away. Crashers are almost always caught. The movie is just not very realistic lol. Wedding crashers happen, but they're usually caught by actual guests or people who work at the venue. I don't think a wristband or something to that affect would definitely help because they can just say they left it at home or it fell off. Not to mention your actual guests wou could really leave them at home by accident. Also, I love accessorizing and a wristband, even one made of twine, wouldn't add to my look, kwim?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Just post a sign saying "Smith wedding" or something. I doubt you get many crashers if any at all. Do people really do that?

renegade gaucho · March 2013

I think you're worrying needlessly. Just because the other couple was miffed that your locations are so close to each other doesn't mean they or their guests will behave improperly on the wedding day.

MayberryAfterMidnight · March 2013

How many guests will you have at your wedding? Unless it's over say, 200, I feel like people will readily notice a crasher. Do you have any organized and "in charge" relatives or friends who wouldn't mind keeping a look out? I know sometimes people will enlist someone to serve, informally, as DOC and perhaps you could do the same in this case. I wouldn't ask anyone to be on red alert all evening because you want your guests to enjoy themselves (and not be unofficial security guard all night...), but perhaps you could just spread the word to a few key people and that would put your mind at ease. Regarding the other couple, sometimes people are weird about their venues - as if no one else is allowed to get married in the same place, ever! It sounds like the two weddings will be far enough apart, though. Good luck!

tiny speck · March 2013

Yes that would be tacky, and unneccesary. Just post a sign, and if possible, if you're really worried, set up some bunting or something to act as a 'barrier' around your area. I don't think it should be an issue.

Ven&Radio · March 2013

Wrist bands or hand stamps are tacky. It's one thing when I'm going to a concert and need one to prove I'm over 21 (even though I don't think I've ever drank at a concert). If I'm dressed up nice to attend a wedding, which should be a classy event, I'm going to be seriously annoyed to have a wrist band/hand stamp/etc.

itzMS · March 2013

We had crashers...even with tickets and wristbands (requirements of our venue...not my choice)

DH & I noticed them and asked them to leave. We knew who we invited, so it was fine. It's just something you have to be prepared for in a public place.

MoonlightSilver · March 2013

If people from the other wedding show up at yours accidentally, then they're going to look around, realize they know NO ONE, perhaps look at your program if you have one, and realize it's the wrong place.

As for people intentionally coming over for drinks- does that affect you negatively? If you're paying by consumption, or the bar tenders keep track of the individual people (highly unlikely), it might cost you. But if you've got an open bar, then a few crashers getting drinks wont hurt. Just ask them to leave if you'd like.

ZiggyZos · March 2013

We had crashers as well, and I noticed within minutes of them showing up despite having close to 200 people in attendance. They were chatting up H's cousins at the bar and said they went to college with me. H immediately strolled over and said he was glad they could make it and he'd let me know they were there. They took off immediately. Unless you're keeping a tab at the bar (where people can order unlimited drinks and you settle up at the end of the night) or are providing your own alcohol, I honestly don't see the problem with crashers. They won't have a place to sit if they come for the dinner or, if they are like our crashers, they'll show up after dinner, grab a few drinks and leave. The venue had no clue they weren't with us and we certainly didn't get charged extra because of them hanging at the bar (since we had an open bar). So, to answer your question, yes wristbands, twine, etc. are tacky and unnecessary.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

I would put a nice large sign by the entrance "Smith & Jones Wedding" it will be helpful for your guests to know they are at the right location & for their guests to know their at the wrong.

Heck, if their guests crash your wedding, take it as a compliment, it means that they thought your wedding looked like more fun then the one they were actually invited to, then kindly ask them to leave.

AJuliaNJ · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wrist-bands-at-weddings-to-ward-off-wedding-crashers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4fbb3a3b-4c40-4bba-b6f0-2e429db3819fPost:6616acc3-74ff-4711-ab44-dfdbe6289517">Wrist bands at weddings to ward off wedding crashers?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just found out today that the park I am getting married at will also be host to a second wedding about 300 yards away. While we will not be able to see the other wedding at all, we now have to deal with the issue of guests getting to the correct wedding. Because we managed to reserve our venue only minutes before the other couple, we were able to meet them, and they seem very angry about us getting the venue before them. Sense they will be so close by, we are worried that either they might sneak by to get drinks from our wedding, or that their guests might accidentally show up to our wedding for a little bit thinking they are in the right place. Would giving out wrist bands, or stamps, or tying a piece of twine around the guests' wrists be tacky? That way we don't have any wedding crashers, or alcohol thieves?
Posted by kylikrummel[/QUOTE]

If your venue routinely has multiple weddings, they will definitely have a plan for preventing guests from getting lost. There may be separate entrances, separate parking lots, and there will definitely be signage. If you are having your ceremony and/or cocktail hour in the same place, I've noticed venues do a very good job of shuffling everyone off to the next location through signs or employees. The venues are usually designed so the flow of the rooms makes sense (i.e. you are not going to have to pass by the other wedding to get to your reception on the other side of the building). If you are nervous, ask the venue to walk you through the day. Most people who have had weddings on a night where there were multiple say they didn't even realize there was another wedding going on.

The other bride and groom sound like drama queens. Unless they are total 'zillas they've probably calmed down about it though. From my experience, venues always make it clear if they are a one-wedding or multi-wedding place. The ones we visited that were one wedding used it as a selling point. The ones that did multiple weddings made it clear that you'd have separate waitstaff, the weddings would never intersect, and that you would have their full attention. So, the couple had to have known this was a possibility when they booked.

I don't think you need wristbands. Like PP's have said, I doubt you would get so many it would ruin your party, and they would quickly be identified.

ETA: Is the other couple having an alcohol-free wedding? If so, your concern about people sneaking in for alcohol might be more serious, and we should discuss.

MuppetOverlord · March 2013

Agree with PPs but wanted to say that I would feel dumb putting on a wristband at a wedding.

Amyzen83 · March 2013

I think a way to prevent wedding crashers and seems less tacky than wristbands, stamps etc. is if you have assigned tables/picnic benches and have a designated area where your guests can stop by and find out which table they are at. Perhaps you could appoint a friend/your wedding coordinator direct people and if someone isn't listed, that person can politely ask them to leave. Hint: One dead givaway someone doesn't belong at your wedding is if they never actually sit down at a table.

OwningAHome1981 · March 2013

I don't really think that many people crash weddings these days.

Also if they are from the other wedding, why would they want to spend time with a bunch of people that they don't know? Hmm, do I want to spend time with my best friend at the wedding I'm supposed to be at or spend time with strangers at another wedding? Crashing just seems kinda silly.

Don't worry about it and enjoy your day

Belle0720 · March 2013

Definitely have a sign up.

This past September FI and I went to my friend's wedding and sat down. As I looked around I didn't seen anyone that I knew and I thought the age bracket of guests seemed a bit off. So I asked the guy next to me 'This is Doug & Brittney's wedding right?'. He laughed and said 'Nope, Jim and Cindy's, you are an official wedding crasher' I was honestly pretty embarrassed and we got up immediately and wandered around until we found the right wedding, but hey there weren't any signs labeling either weddings so how in the world was I supposed to know?!

As for legit wedding crashers, I don't think wristbands or stamps are a great idea. If you and FI notice them I'd go right up to them and make them feel real awkward. And then I'd have my wedding planner make sure they left.

Amyzen83 · March 2013

"Also if they are from the other wedding, why would they want to spend time with a bunch of people that they don't know? Hmm, do I want to spend time with my best friend at the wedding I'm supposed to be at or spend time with strangers at another wedding? Crashing just seems kinda silly."

I agree with this statement! Most likely people want to support their friend's wedding over a stranger. So crashers from other wedding - not likely although to prevent last poster's dilema signs are a good idea to make your wedding recognizable! If you do get wedding crashers, they most likely just happen to be at the park and will probubly be wearing casual clothes which would make spotting them even easier. You don't have to be rude, but I'd have the coordinator talk to them and escort them out, after all the coordinator is there so you and your fi don't have to worry about anything.

blondii428 · March 2013

It does seem a little tacky. I would just put up a pretty sign that says "____ Wedding" in really big letters that can't be missed. I doubt they would have guests sneak over, that thought would never even cross my mind!

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