Bridal shower invite Etiquette

Re: Bridal shower invite Etiquette

• sister2groom

  

  December 2010

  You don't have to invite everyone who's coming to the wedding to the shower.

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  December 2010

  I would only invite your mom and grandma like PP said and not all OOT guests. Although everyone invited to the shower needs to be invited to the wedding, the reverse is not true.

  
  
  
  
  

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• ootmother2 member

  

  December 2010

  I'd stick to people in your general area other than the moms and BP members who are invited to any and all showers as a courtesty.
  
  Long distance bridal showers usually creat a feeling of obligation.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  December 2010

  We only invited one cousin that was out of state, just in case she could come. We did not invite any other oot relatives or friends. It was just my BM's, both Mom's, aunts, cousins that were in town, and some close family and church friends.

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• lindsaynewbride10 member

  

  December 2010

  Yea, at first I was going to say to invite all your OOT guests but after reading PP's it would'nt make any sense for ppl to feel obligated to come. Just the ppl from NY like your Mom, Grandparents, Siblings, close cousins..

  

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• jessrendon member

  

  December 2010

  I was in the same situation, my fiance has cousins and Aunts in Detroit but his immediate family, my family and the wedding is in Houston.  My MOH planned the shower and her and I decided to keep the shower small and local, even my side of the family's OOT guests were not included.  It didn't make sense to me to invite them and I felt sending them an invite made me feel I was "asking" for them to send me an obligation gift, which I thought was tacky especially since most of the Detroit family is in a bad financial situation, travelling to the wedding is 'our gift' from them and we wanted to respect that.  Well a week later my FMIL was very upset to know no one from Detroit was invited and said "well they were all going to ship you a gift but since they didn't get an invite they are not going to" she also said they were all very hurt by not being included.... =/   I'm in trouble and feel really bad, we don't need the gifts but I didn't want to hurt anyone and I did by assuming.     

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• susanmhamilton member

  

  December 2010

  I'm NEVER offended to not get a shower invitation.  If I'm not invited, it's one fewer gift to shop for, one fewer unwelcome expenditure, and fewer ridiculous shower games to play.  And yes, I'm well aware that other people will be thinking the same thoughts when my own shower is held.  Most people do not want to go to bridal showers, baby showers, or any other kind of showers.  It's an obligation.  People go to showers because they feel that they have to.
  
  jessrendon, your FMIL sounds like a pot-stirring, instigating shrew.  Disregard her.  She sounds like one of those people who, if you HAD invited the OOT-ers, would have chastised you for burdening all those fine people with yet another gift-giving occasion when they can't afford the gift or the travel.

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