What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?

mrs chicken · May 2010

I'm curious how many people are throwing caution to the wind and breaking "the rules." Please don't flame other's choices in this post....but 'fess up!!!! Feel free to justify what you need to.

Please be kind--to each her own.

As part of thier gift, I am giving my bridesmaids jewelry. I hate it when people say "shop like it's thier birthday." I'm a jewelry giver.

We can only afford to host a bar that provides beer, wine, and soda, so anyone who is unhappy with that can choose to find a drink elsewhere.

We are having a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and reception (which are a 30 min. drive from each other). My parents are graciously opening thier back yard with light refreshemts if anyone wishes to not hang out at the hotel/take a nap/amuse themselves.

laurenclaire1386 · May 2010

I ended up going with beer, wine, and champagne instead of the full open bar. But I don't think that's an etiquette mess up at all. You're not making people pay for stuff. I don't think I'm breaking any rules, really.

andy71781 · May 2010

I have a gap and we are only serving wine & beer. We are also not doing a champagne toast.

ricksang · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:231ee787-3b34-4703-aa97-49f9f4286c7a">What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious how many people are throwing caution to the wind and breaking "the rules." <strong>Please don't flame other's choices in this post</strong>....but 'fess up!!!! Feel free to justify what you need to. Please be kind--to each her own. As part of thier gift, I am giving my bridesmaids jewelry. I hate it when people say "shop like it's thier birthday." I'm a jewelry giver. We can only afford to host a bar that provides beer, wine, and soda, so anyone who is unhappy with that can choose to find a drink elsewhere. We are having a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and reception (which are a 30 min. drive from each other). My parents are graciously opening thier back yard with light refreshemts if anyone wishes to not hang out at the hotel/take a nap/amuse themselves.
Posted by mrs chicken[/QUOTE]

LOL okay.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:3fe15f53-af4d-43a9-804f-d29b0ce578d9">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : LOL okay.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]
I love the way you always say that

laurenclaire1386 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:231ee787-3b34-4703-aa97-49f9f4286c7a">What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious how many people are throwing caution to the wind and breaking "the rules." Please don't flame other's choices in this post....but 'fess up!!!! Feel free to justify what you need to. <strong>Please be kind--to each her own</strong>. As part of thier gift, I am giving my bridesmaids jewelry. I hate it when people say "shop like it's thier birthday." I'm a jewelry giver. We can only afford to host a bar that provides beer, wine, and soda, so anyone who is unhappy with that can choose to find a drink elsewhere. We are having a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and reception (which are a 30 min. drive from each other). My parents are graciously opening thier back yard with light refreshemts if anyone wishes to not hang out at the hotel/take a nap/amuse themselves.
Posted by mrs chicken[/QUOTE]
Also, etiquette isn't really a "to each her own" thing. I get that sometimes you have to do things that might make some of your guests slightly uncomfortable for whatever reason, but the point of etiquette is that it's a uniform set of guidelines that keeps you from offending your guests.

ricksang · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:4341f955-2f5a-4cad-8c65-5d09a5cee4e6">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : I love the way you always say that
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

Roxy, let's run away to Ireland together! I will buy you endless amounts of shoes! :P

[Deleted User] · May 2010

I beat my guests with sticks upon their arrival. I'm not sure if that's an etiquette issue or more of a humanitarian one.

ricksang · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:2e7d6aef-69aa-4cac-b064-1f505ffb863a">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : Also, etiquette isn't really a "to each her own" thing. I get that sometimes you have to do things that might make some of your guests slightly uncomfortable for whatever reason, but the point of etiquette is that it's a uniform set of guidelines that keeps you from offending your guests.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

Agreed. And nothing anyone has said in this thread is really bad etiquette IMO.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:cf265cab-20f6-4977-ab37-be836bddfc83">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : Roxy, let's run away to Ireland together! I will buy you endless amounts of shoes! :P
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]
Deal!
Actually, T and I are looking into moving to Ireland in January. I've still got to get a hold of the consulate to see what all is required.

jessjo04 · May 2010

I'm gonna break the 'be nice to newbies' etiquette rule. Oh wait, thats not a rule. Don't tell us to play nice, newbie!

mrs chicken · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:d4f9210d-05e7-423b-be57-c1e27a70377c">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]I beat my guests with sticks upon their arrival. I'm not sure if that's an etiquette issue or more of a humanitarian one.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

Are they special monogrammed sticks from the knot wedding shop? I've been looking for some....

ricksang · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:3a9e61be-428b-4e18-adb0-d0a0e0e98fc2">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : Deal! Actually, T and I are looking into moving to Ireland in January. I've still got to get a hold of the consulate to see what all is required.
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

I am jealous. Irish food and beer= the best ever.

ricksang · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:a9bcf633-53d2-48a5-b825-8ad8daa1510b">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : Are they special monogrammed sticks from the knot wedding shop? I've been looking for some....
Posted by mrs chicken[/QUOTE]
Hee!

[Deleted User] · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:a9bcf633-53d2-48a5-b825-8ad8daa1510b">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : Are they special monogrammed sticks from the knot wedding shop? I've been looking for some....
Posted by mrs chicken[/QUOTE]

No. I got them from Etsy. They have rubber snakes hanging off the ends. You know. For the shock factor.

lauralaur · May 2010

If I broke any rules of etiquette, it was by accident. I really did my best to make sure I was following guidelines and addressing invites and treating my guests properly. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, just that I did my best not to let it happen. I ended up being pretty anal about our wedding and a lot of people really appreciated my efforts.

However, I wouldn't say that anything you listed is really breaking etiquette though. As a guest or bridesmaid, I wouldn't be particularly annoyed by anything you listed.

future-mrs · May 2010

We're:

*registering for a Honeymoon only...forget gifts, we want a vacation!

*having fishies as centerpieces

*hosting a cash only bar...geez, I'm not made of money people

*no food--people can starve, it's ok.

*Requiring guests to wear bright yellow or baby puke green...it's MY pretty pretty princess day dammit!

*saying there is no food and we only want cash for our honeymoon, on the invites...at least I'm letting them KNOW.

*having a 5 hour gap for pictures and so my wedding party can get crunk.

..........to each her own, right?!

ETA: I almost forgot, we're considering kicking people out halfway through the reception...I don't want to run out of cake.

FutureMsAlexander · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:7b204985-4a72-4bfc-b5c3-48c2887fe68c">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : I am jealous. Irish food and beer= the best ever.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

This x 1000. At least my people got that right.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

Yes, the prospect of living of irish food and beer and wearing sweaters all the time is enough to convince T we should do it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:2e7d6aef-69aa-4cac-b064-1f505ffb863a">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : Also, etiquette isn't really a "to each her own" thing. I get that sometimes you have to do things that might make some of your guests slightly uncomfortable for whatever reason, but the point of etiquette is that it's a uniform set of guidelines that keeps you from offending your guests.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

<div>I DO think there are some antiquated etiquette guidelines that won't affect people's comfort. Like handwriting invitations? Printing the addresses <em>probably </em>won't make most people uncomfortable. So it's a judgement call. I feel that as long as you know what etiquette dictates and you make choices accordingly, you're fine. (Although I am writing addresses on my invitations, lol.)</div>

BlutifulScorpion · May 2010

So far... I'm not breaking any rules of etiquette. However, I will probably break traditions...if FI "allows" me to. LOL

laurenclaire1386 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:8e9d5ae6-ac42-4959-a68e-5683f6f14417">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : I DO think there are some antiquated etiquette guidelines that won't affect people's comfort. Like handwriting invitations? Printing the addresses probably won't make most people uncomfortable. So it's a judgement call. I feel that as long as you know what etiquette dictates and you make choices accordingly, you're fine. (Although I am writing addresses on my invitations, lol.)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
I completely agree. Yeah, both of things are pretty silly to me. I haven't thought of invitations yet. I should probably get on that.

brookelynpaisley · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:231ee787-3b34-4703-aa97-49f9f4286c7a">What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious how many people are throwing caution to the wind and breaking "the rules." Please don't flame other's choices in this post....but 'fess up!!!! Feel free to justify what you need to. Please be kind--to each her own. As part of thier gift, I am giving my bridesmaids jewelry. I hate it when people say "shop like it's thier birthday." <strong>I'm a jewelry giver</strong>. We can only afford to host a bar that provides beer, wine, and soda, so anyone who is unhappy with that can choose to find a drink elsewhere. We are having a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and reception (which are a 30 min. drive from each other). My parents are graciously opening thier back yard with light refreshemts if anyone wishes to not hang out at the hotel/take a nap/amuse themselves.
Posted by mrs chicken[/QUOTE]

But do they like being jewelry receivers? It's not a gift if you require it.

We had only one hour of open bar, followed by cash bar. I was not happy, but it was my parents' stipulation, regardless of who paid.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:095d8abd-b4a2-48e7-8c6a-a2582323d233">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : I completely agree. Yeah, both of things are pretty silly to me. I haven't thought of invitations yet. I should probably get on that.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

<div>I was going to ask LC, how's the wedding planning going? It looks like you decided on a location and maybe a caterer?</div>

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

I hope I will not need to break any etiquette rules.

EDIT: Rather, I do not plan on breaking any etiquette rules when the time comes.

bonnyandtim · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:231ee787-3b34-4703-aa97-49f9f4286c7a">What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious how many people are throwing caution to the wind and breaking "the rules." Please don't flame other's choices in this post....but 'fess up!!!! Feel free to justify what you need to. Please be kind--to each her own. As part of thier gift, I am giving my bridesmaids jewelry. I hate it when people say "shop like it's thier birthday." I'm a jewelry giver. We can only afford to host a bar that provides beer, wine, and soda, so anyone who is unhappy with that can choose to find a drink elsewhere.
Posted by mrs chicken[/QUOTE]

I am also giving my girls (matching wedding) earrings, headbands, & necklaces. I did get them other (also matching!) gifts to go with it, but around this area, jewelry is a common wedding party gift, & I am a HUGE jewelry girl. I know my BMs, & I know they will wear the earrings & necklaces again (basic, silver hearts). The headbands...IDK so much if they'll wear them again but they were a good price & I wanted them.

I am not having alcohol at my church reception.
Our familys are not big drinkers, I don't want to pay for it, the church doesn't like it, I didn't want to spend $ on a different reception venue, I figure that if a person can NOT go to a wedding for a few hours in 1 afternoon & not drink alcohol, then they have other issues.

laurenclaire1386 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:a3e66203-ef1b-4535-9f67-36dd9f2d0d84">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : I was going to ask LC, how's the wedding planning going? It looks like you decided on a location and maybe a caterer?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
It's actually going really well, thanks! We did pick a spot: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.nottoway.com/">http://www.nottoway.com/</a>
Here specifically is what we're thinking for the ceremony:

<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '69a65684-307b-4f50-ae09-75c6b9f396fd', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/14/69a65684-307b-4f50-ae09-75c6b9f396fd.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

They do all the catering, so really all I'm left to do is music, photography, and cake.
EDIT: picture instead of link.

andyandhillary · May 2010

W're having a gap and only providing an open bar for 4 hours. After that, it's cash. I also used labels on my invites.

weddingbells2010 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ettiquette-rules-breaking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:76d51ea3-385e-47a6-97ef-11cf2f618582Post:8e9d5ae6-ac42-4959-a68e-5683f6f14417">Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking? : I DO think there are some antiquated etiquette guidelines that won't affect people's comfort. Like handwriting invitations? Printing the addresses probably won't make most people uncomfortable. So it's a judgement call. I feel that as long as you know what etiquette dictates and you make choices accordingly, you're fine. (Although I am writing addresses on my invitations, lol.)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>EXACTLY, Msmerymac- that's why this is the "rule" I broke! As far as I know, there is not a whisper traveling among our family and friends about what a horrible bride I am for printing the invites.</div>

katiewhompus · May 2010

I hope I didn't break anything etiquette wise, I felt like I was a good host and made sure my guests felt appreciated at the reception.
I did have a dollar dance. Long story, humoring parents and grandparents.
For our bar we had an open bar but limited drink choices. We had to provide the alcohol ourselves so we just brought a couple bottles of rum, vodka, schnapps, whisky and I think gin. The venue provided mixers. We also had 6 local beers and wine from the venue (vineyard).

KentuckyKate · June 2010

I don't know if this counts, but I didn't consult any of my BMs about their dress preference and budgets. I just picked what I liked (the same dress for everyone), and told them where and when to buy it.

What ettiquette rules are YOU breaking?

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