Wedding Etiquette Forum

I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!

My fiance and I are supposed to get married on 2-13-10.Which is less than a month away! We have already made invitations and just sent them out a few days ago. The only thing is that our preacher just let us know that I will not get to walk down the aisle, which also means no need for flower girls or ring bearer or bridal party! He basically wants us to be sitting in the audience and just come up together when its time.

You know...all my life, I have dreamed about walking down the aisle. And now because of the church and how they do things, they are saying I can not walk down the aisle. It just almost feels like its hardly a wedding anymore. Also...what are our guests going to think about this? When the bride doesn't walk down the aisle.

So what I really want to do is just forget about the whole thing and do the wedding somewhere else with another officiant. But the only thing is...I sent out all the invitations already...so what am I supposed to do?  call all of them and just tell them to disregard it and that there will be another invite coming soon? Its less than a month away! and I am getting very stressed....! Should I just leave it the way it is and just deal with it to save everyone and myself a lot of stress and confusion, or should I make my wedding like the one in my dreams and change it all after I already sent out invitations and its last minute notice!!??? Help me please!!
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Re: I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!

  • The million dollar question: just exactly why can't you walk down the aisle?

  • Wow, I'm surprised you just realized this. I've never heard of this before. hmm. Any negotiating room with the preacher on walking down the aisle??



  • Well, I hate to tell you but most people would have asked that from the get go. I'm not certain how that escaped you.

    A walk down the aisle does not a wedding make.

    This is weird. I don't really even know what to say about this.  Why can't you walk down the aisle? I'm so cornfused.
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  • Never heard of not walking down the aisle.  How come the preacher is not allowing this?
  • Is this your church and preacher?  Did you ask why?
  • Ditto Georgia, why doesn't your officiant want you to walk down the aisle?  I have NEVER heard of this before.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cant-walk-down-aisle-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dea02802-2568-438e-9ec3-9dbd50b026d2Post:10078d2a-cdb6-4b2a-b85b-7dfeb8ddbb85">Re: I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I hate to tell you but most people would have asked that from the get go. I'm not certain how that escaped you.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    I never would have thought to ask if I was going to be able to walk down the aisle.
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  • Did you ask if you could skip down the aisle? Sprint? Roller skate?

    WHAT DOES HE HAVE AGAINST PEOPLE WHO CAN WALK!!!! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! DISCRIMINATION!!!!111!!!!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cant-walk-down-aisle-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dea02802-2568-438e-9ec3-9dbd50b026d2Post:b84e8b75-3e90-487d-8d07-232b4e13f0b3">I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are supposed to get married on 2-13-10.Which is less than a month away! We have already made invitations and just sent them out a few days ago. The only thing is that our preacher just let us know that I will not get to walk down the aisle, which also means no need for flower girls or ring bearer or bridal party! He basically wants us to be sitting in the audience and just come up together when its time. You know...all my life, I have dreamed about walking down the aisle. And now because of the church and how they do things, they are saying I can not walk down the aisle. It just almost feels like its hardly a wedding anymore. Also... what are our guests going to think about this ? When the bride doesn't walk down the aisle. So what I really want to do is just forget about the whole thing and do the wedding somewhere else with another officiant. But the only thing is...I sent out all the invitations already...so what am I supposed to do?  call all of them and just tell them to disregard it and that there will be another invite coming soon? Its less than a month away! and I am getting very stressed....! Should I just leave it the way it is and just deal with it to save everyone and myself a lot of stress and confusion, or should I make my wedding like the one in my dreams and change it all after I already sent out invitations and its last minute notice!!??? Help me please!!
    Posted by amandasoard[/QUOTE]

    JIC
  • TR, you wouldn't ask about details of the wedding or the flow of the service?

    You might not ask CAN I WALK DOWN THE AISLE, but I would have certainly asked about the procession of the service.
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  • Maybe just play a little Chris Brown and boogie down the aisle. Problem. Solved.
  • I have an idea. Just go to the bathroom right before the ceremony starts and then once it begins you can walk in... down the aisle and all.
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  • well..its the lds church and we believe in getting married in the temple. but since my fiance is not a member, we can't get married in the temple. And because they want their members to get married in the temple, they dont wanna do a regular traditional wedding and make it seem glamorous. you know? So they just want to make it as simple and basic as possible. Which if i had known that, I definitely would have chosen another place to have it. but I had been to a regular traditional wedding a few years ago at the church and they let her walk down the aisle. (although it inst the same officiant) So I didnt foresee them saying I couldnt walk down the aisle. So thats why I obviously blindly made the decision to have the wedding there
  • I would be a bit bummed by that as well, even though I haven't been dreaming about walking down the aisle all my life. 
  • I thought you must have broken your leg or something and literally couldn't walk down the aisle.
  • If its a no-go with the church, change the ceremony site, and call your guests to let them know there's been a change of venue.  As pp said, I would also mail out a quick postcard with the important information of the new site as well. (put it in an envelope for privacy purposes)

    Can you have your ceremony at the reception venue?  That would save some confusion.
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  • If they look down so much on your marriage to a non member I'd find another place regardless.  Quickly look for another place and then contact your guests anyway possible to give the details on the changes. 
  • Also, TR, if it was something I had been dreaming about my WHOLE LIFE, I would have certainly asked the question.

    That would be like dreaming YOUR WHOLE LIFE about swimming with the dolphins in Mexico, and you book your trip only to find out that they don't offer swimming with the dolphins.

    That'd just be stupid.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cant-walk-down-aisle-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dea02802-2568-438e-9ec3-9dbd50b026d2Post:db9b12d9-40b0-4287-9e47-b2b2268ee9ef">Re: I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]TR, you wouldn't ask about details of the wedding or the flow of the service? You might not ask CAN I WALK DOWN THE AISLE, but I would have certainly asked about the procession of the service.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    Probably not until later in the process.  I would just expect this guy to bring it up earlier since it's unusual.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cant-walk-down-aisle-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dea02802-2568-438e-9ec3-9dbd50b026d2Post:a66eba5e-a267-490c-a1c5-4bbd15fca642">Re: I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought you must have broken your leg or something and literally couldn't walk down the aisle.
    Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

    I thought this too, or that OP was having major cold feet (then I saw the question mark).



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  • just reading the title I thught this would be someone who broke their leg 2 days before their wedding, or was wheelchair bound or something injury related like that.


    this.. is a whole new level of ODD
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  • Ugh. Yeah, this kind of blows.

     The fact that they're purposefully downplaying your wedding b/c they don't approve of FI's religion would want to make me get married somewhere else.

    Well, research your options in terms of if an alternate venue is even available. If one is, then decide if it's worth calling or e-mailing your guests (and possibly alienating your LDS family and friends) and changing. It may be better just to suck it up.

    Remember that you'll be married at the end of the day either way, and two months from now the little specifics of the day won't seem nearly as important as they do now. Good luck!

  • Tell the guy that you REALLY REALLY want to walk down the aisle, and if he'd had a problem with it before he should have mentioned it. You want it, it's your wedding. I assume you're paying to be married there? Then you wanna walk down the FREAKIN aisle.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cant-walk-down-aisle-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dea02802-2568-438e-9ec3-9dbd50b026d2Post:b02ca25f-dddd-400b-9dd6-118e090f695b">Re: I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]well..its the lds church and we believe in getting married in the temple. but since my fiance is not a member, we can't get married in the temple. And because they want their members to get married in the temple, they dont wanna do a regular traditional wedding and make it seem glamorous. you know? So they just want to make it as simple and basic as possible. Which if i had known that, I definitely would have chosen another place to have it. but I had been to a regular traditional wedding a few years ago at the church and they let her walk down the aisle. (although it inst the same officiant) So I didnt foresee them saying I couldnt walk down the aisle. So thats why I obviously blindly made the decision to have the wedding there
    Posted by amandasoard[/QUOTE]

    So you are or aren't getting married in the temple?  I'm confused.  Are you being punished because your FI isn't a member?  How are you getting married there if he isn't?
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  • It seems to me that if you grew up in the LDS church, which I'm assuming you did, you would have known that rule ahead of time, if you don't marry a fellow LDS member.


    I don't know what to tell you to do about your dilemma. However, the walk down the aisle does not the wedding make.

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  • Damn that sucks.  So I guess they aren't going to let you handle the snakes, either, huh?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cant-walk-down-aisle-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dea02802-2568-438e-9ec3-9dbd50b026d2Post:6f6f4cf2-da00-439e-a471-222e45fa9b64">Re: I cant walk down the aisle!?! please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]It seems to me that if you grew up in the LDS church, which I'm assuming you did, you would have known that rule ahead of time, if you don't marry a fellow LDS member. Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this. I'm not even LDS and I knew that. It's pretty much your fault that you didn't research this a little more thoroughly.
  • edited January 2010

    Fishtopolis I respectively agree with TR.  We had our wedding in a bigger city about four hours north of where we currently live.  I researched the different churches in the area and did a lot of calling and emailing.  When I finally booked the church, I asked about all the obvious things.  It wasn't until about a month before the wedding until we actually got to meet with the pastor and do a dry run with everything (well after invites went out).  I would have been pretty bent out of shape too if I would have found out that I couldn't walk down the aisle (or skip or flounce). 

    Weird, strange.  I would change the venue and call the guests.

    Edit: I just saw that OP grew up in the church making my prior statement completely irrelevant.

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