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Mailing thank you cards must be a thing of the past...

This year I was unable to make it to a distant cousin's wedding. Instead of having a gift registry, she was very specific in requesting "cash donations only" (tacky in and of itself). So I sent a generous cash amount. Well, its been almost 3 months and I have yet to receive a thank you! After speaking with some family members, it turns out she emailed a few people and facebooked some others saying "thank you", but I guess she doesn't have my email address so I was S.O.L on getting any kind of acknowledgement or thank you.

In addition, I must vent that I have attended a few baby showers (over the past couple years) and bought gifts, but never to receive any thank you!

Am I blowing this out of proportion? I think it is SOOOO rude to not even send a thank you note, especially if someone went out of their way to mail you something generous, and then you can't even say "thanks". I mean, c'mon, they could have just not sent you anything! I'm almost thinking "thank you emails" are kind of tacky too.

Thanks for listening.... *putting soapbox away*... I feel a little better now. Laughing

Re: Mailing thank you cards must be a thing of the past...

  • edited December 2011
    I went to a wedding in August and never recieved a thank you card for that gift. Every now and then I think of it and how rude it was not to get a thank you. I agree with you. :)
  • GribblesGribbles member
    edited December 2011
    The last two weddings I went to (and took gifts) I didn't get a thankyou. One of the weddings we travelled to Australia for! I was pretty surprised and disappointed.

    Once we get back from honeymoon, lovely personalised thankyou cards will be the first thing I will be organising. I agree emails are lazy.
  • edited December 2011
    That would piss me off too.  We took the time to write out thank you's for every thing we received at our engagement party and also sent thank you's just to the attendees for taking the time to come.  We'll do the same thing for the wedding.  I'm mildly confrontational enough that I'd probably email or call the recipient and 'make sure they got my gift since I didn't receive any indication that they did'.

    Married old Las Vegas hag groom - June 2011

    Getting married in Vegas? Start here! [click]

  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you're blowing things out of proportion - we sent out thank you cards to everyone who sent us a gift or even just a card. It's the polite thing to do and it's considered proper etiquitte. Not having your email address is a poor excuse for not acknowledging your gift. =(
  • pebbs_17pebbs_17 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is a major pet-peeve of mine!  I can't stand when people don't send thank-you cards!!  I plan on doing mine as soon as I get my pictures back from Todd. 
  • edited December 2011
    Unfortunately it seems to be a sign of the time! This and demands for cash as a gift really PMO!  I am a sticklar for etiquette so I may be a little more sensitive than others but I have to stay away from the etiquette boards as sometimes it just makes me want to cry the lack of respect some people feel they can have just because its "their day"!

    I also find printed thank you cards rude as well...it doesn't take that long to sign your name and write a little messgae!
  • edited December 2011
    I think common courtesy in general is a thing of the past! I sent ours out later than I wanted because I wanted to do photo thank yous, but I didn't forget!
  • edited December 2011
    Not only are thank you cards a thing of the past but I've realized so are RSVP cards! I guess people just show up to weddings now!
  • jmob1923jmob1923 member
    edited December 2011
    I would be annoyed too. I love hand written notes and letters and find they are much more personal than an email. I would be upset if I didn't get a thank you, but equally upset if it was a facebook message or email. It's fine to send those too, but I think a handwritten thank you note is the write thing to do, especially after someone has given you a generous gift.

    My parents threw us an E-party and we did receive some gifts/money but I wrote thank you cards out for every single person that came, gift or no gift. They took time out of their day to come and celebrate with me, I just think it's the nice thing to do!

    As much as I love technology, I hate it at the same time. It makes us lazy and people just don't communicate like they used to anymore. (haha sorry, I'm a big believer that I was born in the wrong decade! :) )
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Berni- SO TRUE!! My FI's family have just said to me "oh, well were going"...... uh then send back your damn RSVP.... I included postage... so I guess it is just too much of a burden to walk to the mailbox??? Seriously! And some of my future family have just been telling my FMIL that they are going... ummmm excuse me??? Dont you think that we would like to know that you are coming? Nope, I guess its not our wedding its FMIL's! :D (rant)
  • edited December 2011
    Sorry about the hijack :)

    but yes thank you cards seem to be forgotten. I am definitely going to send some as soon as we can! It doesnt matter if you give them a gift or not, like jmob said, they took their time to celebrate with us, we should thank them!
  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I think it is very rude for someone not to send a thank you card. Then what do you expect from someone who is so rude as to request "cash donations only".

  • direy25direy25 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Mailing thank you cards must be a thing of the past...:
    [QUOTE]I think common courtesy in general is a thing of the past!I sent ours out later than I wanted because I wanted to do photo thank yous, but I didn't forget!
    Posted by ebonyivory10[/QUOTE]
    This.  And it stinks.  I don't know what makes people feel so entitled these days...
    Married 5.6.11

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers


  • edited December 2011
    I'm so glad to see I wasn't the only one!

    As soon as I get back and settled in from our wedding I plan on sending a thank you to everyone- gift, no gift. As another knottie said, they took time out of their day to come so darn straight you better thank them for sharing the celebration with you!

    Until the times change again and common courtesy becomes the norm, lets all stick to our polite ways and try to bring it back. Laughing

    Have a Happy New Year everyone!
  • bcschumanbcschuman member
    edited December 2011
    I wrote thank yous the next day for my enagement party and intend on making it my first priority for wedding/shower gifts.  I handwrite TONS of thank you cards for my job... so this is like second nature for me!

    I did read somewhere that there is a year long window to send thank-yous for weddings???  I think it should be done within 6 months at most... but that is my personal opinions.  No emails... no facebooks... no twitters... no youtube videos...  just plain old thank yous!
  • MizLynnMizLynn member
    edited December 2011
    Isn't that what guestbooks are for? 

    Every wedding I've been to, the usher asks you to sign the guestbook, which also asks that you leave your address.  

    For my first marriage, we did this. I used it to send thank you cards to everyone who signed. That, coupled with taking addresses off of the checks and gifts that people sent us, made it easy to send out thank you's to everyone. And they were handwritten! (Then again, I'm a teacher, so I'm used to writing things out by hand -- grading papers and all).

    But I'm seeing there are other guestbooks where people leave personalised messages now, instead of leaving their address. To be honest, I've only seen those at a few weddings I've been to. I tend to get thank you cards more often from the ones where you leave your address...

    Am I in the minority here or what?

  • maybride2011maybride2011 member
    edited December 2011
    So happy to see all of these posts!  I have been really frustrated lately that I have attended 3 weddings and a baby shower since June and have yet to receive one thank you card for any of the gifts.  I seriously was beginning to think I was the only person who still thought this was really rude.
  • guamibearguamibear member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone, thank yous are a must! Gift or no gift. Sorry to hear about the let down.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm with vergasgroom. I'd call and purposely ask. Two years ago a friend and co-worker moved back to her hometown from nyc after becoming engaged, she mailed me and a few other friends false invitations to her wedding. She had put a date that didn't exist to discourage us from attending the wedding (she probably couldn't afford to feed anymore guests). HOW PATHETIC AND RUDE IS THIS!!!!???? She actually went through the trouble of constructing something wrong and mailed it too. How stupid. 
  • edited December 2011

    I totally agree... people need to be considerate of others. My cousin sent my respond card back with a check in it for our wedding gift. Couldn't even buy me a nice wedding card. And some people are just telling my future mother in law their coming instead of sending the respond cards back. It's like "hello people i put stamps on them for a reaon"! Boy did I sound like a Bridezilla. lol

  • edited December 2011
    Just plain rude.  I have gotten a few presents, and some money, etc... even though our wedding has not happened yet.  I sent my thank you cards out as they came.  Don't want to forget!

    Also, while the concept of the address in the guest book works, I have everyone's address since I mailed them an invite.  My guest book is a coffee table book with Las Vegas pictures.  I am going to have instant pics to attach in borders I put in ahead of time with nice pens to put in a message. 
  • 11Vegas711Vegas7 member
    edited December 2011
    I felt guilty for taking a month and a half to get our thank yous out!  (Was waiting for pictures to do a personalized card)  As soon as I got the pictures, I made the cards, ordered them, and then hand-wrote them.  I don't know what is wrong with people today.  I also had the RSVP problem....I had about 40 percent of people return theirs.  How hard is it people!?!?!  Like PP said...I provided the postage!!!

    Maybe they should start teaching an etiquette class in middle/high school.  Maybe people weren't taught these things by their parents???  I don't know!
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