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Should I kick her out?

Karamel_bpKaramel_bp member
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in Wedding Party
My friend for over 6 years is one of my bridesmaids. She was dating my FBIL at one point and now they are finished. Ever since they broke up she has been kind of avoiding me. She will call when she is having problems but it is only once a week sometimes not even that. We used to talk every single day twice a day. And I know some things change but we never stop talking like this, she don't even come over anymore. My FI says I should kick her out, since she has basically stopped dealing with me, but I don't know. I feel like it maybe because my FBIL and I shold give her time but its been over 2 months now. I just need some advice.
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Re: Should I kick her out?

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    Karamel_bpKaramel_bp member
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    please excuse the title, i dont know what i was thinking. so you all know she already is dating her ex again. so she is not trying to get over him, she was still in love witht the ex not my fbil
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    stina93446stina93446 member
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    Even with the new info that you've given, you still should not kick her out or even bother her with these things you're feeling. She's probably still hurting from the breakup. Just give her some space, tell her that you're there for her if she needs you, and when the time comes for actual wedding things like dress, shoes, etc. THEN call her about wedding stuff. 

    And I still think that her not calling you everyday isn't such a bad thing. 
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    Karamel_bpKaramel_bp member
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    well i do appreciate all the responses and i am going to continue to give her space. but i know her and i feel like something is up, she goes crazy if she doesnt hear from me in a week or so. and she hasnt even tried. i have other friends that i dont talk to everyday and that is fine i am not complaining because thats how we are. but she is not that type of person. sorry for editint, it shows this way from my phone
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    eshaufleeshaufle
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    Break-ups can be very devastating and sometimes take people a really long time to get over.  It sounds like she's still talking to you, so she hasn't been completely MIA, it's just not as often as you're used to.  I understand that you want things back the way they used to be but the best thing you can do is give her space to deal with things and be there when she needs you.


    And I agree with Stage that weddings and how happy couples are can make people in this kind of state of mind uncomfortable and even sad.  Even some of my really single friends (who are in full "I hate being single...find me a husband" mode lol) I think get uncomfortable around wedding stuff or even couple-y stuff in general.

    Just give her time.  Kicking her out is not only completely unjustified and mean but it would also make this even worse for her.  How would you feel if you just lost your bf and then now your bff is kicking you out of her wedding?  To say I'd be sad and depressed if it were me is a huge understatement.

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
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    I had two BMs, my sister (as MOH) and my dearest friend since high school (about 12 years now). I'm still on very good terms with both of them, and they both live in the same town as me, less than a mile away.

    I only really talk to my sister if I'm at our parents' house, and the occasional text. I only really talk to my friend maybe once every three or four weeks, when we get together for some dinner and a little shopping. And she's usually the one to initiate it, since (a) her evenings are busy with grad school or her job and since her schedule changes a lot I never know when to ask her to go out, and (b) I'm just naturally not a person who calls people to initiate things.

    Just be a friend to her now. That's what she needs.
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    SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
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    I agree that this is more of a friend issue than a wedding issue. I can only imagine she feels awkward being around you and FI right now, give her time. I'm sure you'd feel the same if you were in her shoes. Kicking her out isn't the solution here.
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